Taming the Twixter

Motherhood

2011-10-10T17:35:00.000-07:00

I know it may seem like Twixter One and I gave up on this blog, which we kind of did, but I've had this urge to write again ever since Bean was born. So I think that I'll write on here even if it's just purely cathartic reasons.

Baby Bean came into this world on August 14 at 1:48 pm. Funny story about that. He was due on August 25. The night before I went kind of crazy and psycho cleaned our entire apartment. Apparently that's a sign of labor and I didn't realize it. So the next morning, I went into my last day of work opening at 4:30 am and felt kind of strange to say the least. I got to work and was doing my thing and thought I felt my water break. The thing about being pregnant for the first time is you have zero idea what to expect. Some women's water don't break at all. And it's not how it seems in the movies. Your water doesn't break and 15 minutes later you're having a baby.

So I did the natural thing. I ignored it. I kept work until around 6 am when I was then pretty positive my water broke. The beginning contractions were also a sign. So I called Husband and woke him up. I then called my manager to come take over. He was freaking out. He called 3 different times on his way over because he thought I was going to pop out a baby in the back room. I laughed and kept working, because that's what I do. I headed home and Husband and I waited around for an hour or two until my contractions were closer together. I know you're supposed to go straight into the hospital when your water breaks but my contractions were still over 20 minutes apart. So we sat around and got everything ready since I would much rather be at home than in a hospital.

We finally go to the hospital around 8 am and checked in. No one tells you about this part of delivery. The boring part. We just sat around playing cards until they could move me into the actual delivery room. I had decided to have a natural birth even though the nurse who was first attending to me made me feel like an idiot about it. She proceeded to tell me about her 3 natural deliveries but how I wouldn't be able to do it. So that really pushed my confidence. But by the time I got to the hospital I was 6 cm dilated out of 10 and the contractions hadn't been unmanageable. So I told the biatch to STFU and kept going. I didn't really tell her that. I was much more pleasant. Which is surprising for a woman going into labor.

So skip the boring stuff, I had a horrible contraction and finally asked the nurse (a new much nicer one) if I could have some IV pain meds. She went to go get them and I was overcome with a desire to push about 2 hours earlier than they said I would. When the nurse got back I informed her, "Um....I feel a really strong urge to push" where she proceeded to laugh and check me out. Much to her surprise, I was ready to go. So she calls for another nurse to go get my doctor who was on her way to perform a circumcision. Husband is holding up one of my legs and the nurse the other while several other nurses flutter around prepping the room. When Bean was ready, he was sure ready. So I didn't even have time to get any meds and had to pop out a baby.

The pain was no picnic I'll tell you that. It was like the worst burning pain ever. Everyone told me you'd forget about the pain after the fact. Not entirely true. It doesn't feel as strongly in my head obviously, but I didn't just block it out either.

But once he was out, nothing really mattered. It was amazing to just see him outside of me. This thing that had been moving around, LIVING in me for 9 months was here. And he was the cutest squid baby I'd ever seen. (I don't care what anyone says, there is no cute newborn except your own.) In fact, I think Bean has graduated into being called Squid now. He had such a smooshy little face and a cone head covered in hair. I was born nearly bald so I have no clue where his hair came from. Even husband wasn't born with much hair at all.

I do have to say, I felt like a champion after the delivery. The nurses were all amazed that I was smiling and joking with them even up to the time to push. My doctor kept calling me a champion. My main nurse told me she would come in on her day off to deliver my second kid. The other nurse told me if all her deliveries were like mine she would work 7 days a week. And the last nurse (this is my favorite) told me I was the best and easiest delivery she had ever done in her five years at that hospital. So needless to say I felt like Wonder Woman. And Squid was perfect.

But now, 2 months later, I'm still in shock I have a kid. I'm a twixter. I haven't finished college, and I work a crappy job that most people use as a second job. Yet here I am. A mom. I start work this week so maybe that's why I'm feeling nostalgic about it. I don't feel like I'm ready to teach someone how to live. I mean I'm still trying to figure that out myself.

I wish I could stay home with him all the time. I also wish I could get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. Supposedly that should be getting better in the next month or so. We'll see about that.

Twixter Two

Just a little bit vindictive ...

2011-02-15T12:10:00.000-08:00

I've been quite polite through this entire thing. My emails have been professional, I've given the appropriate amount of notice, and have given more patience than what should be required of me. I have tried, tried, tried and gotten very little back.

So no, I really don't feel bad that I twisted every light bulb in the place a quarter turn to the left. Just enough so they won't connect. Nope, in fact, I don't feel even the smallest bit of bad for you when you find that the only light in the apartment "doesn't work."

Good riddance. That's all I have left to say.

I'm Too Skinny? And Pregnant?

2011-02-14T11:23:00.000-08:00

This morning I was told that I wasn't eating enough. That's only happened twice in my entire life.

The first time was my sophomore year of high school when I became obsessed with having abs. (Which I still think to this day is not physically possible with my body type unless I take some kind of alternate substance to help my muscles grow. Which would look weird and gross.) My father came home from work, looked at me rooting around in the fridge and said, "you need to eat more. You're too skinny."

At the time, I was running several miles a week, I had just had a huge growth spurt over the summer and was doing 1000 crunches a day. I repeat: 1000 crunches. Every. Single. Day.

I'd wake up and roll out of my bed onto the floor and do 200, plus another 300 before leaving for school after breakfast. When I got home from school, I'd do another 300 and 200 before bed. It hurt to laugh.

Yeah. There was seriously something wrong with me.

This time, it was from my Ob-GYN or Lady Doc as I shall now call her. I weighed in this morning at 132 pounds a around 12 weeks in my pregnancy. I was 135 pounds when I found out I was pregnant. I now have a tiny little belly bump which just looks like I ate a few giant bowls of pasta, but it's there! Oh, Husband and I are fondly calling the baby Bean from now until we find out the gender.

Lady Doc talked to me about the importance of nutrition and how I need to not be afraid of how fat I'm going to get. She told me how she can't remember what she looked like when "she was a whale" as she called it. Her mind completely blocked what she had looked like. She remembers being pregnant but not what it looked like.

It felt strange. I not choosing not to eat. Bean is still sometimes making me puke up everything. I've developed a brand spanking new lactose intolerance (which is normal) and had to figure out a whole new way to eat. I'm only NOW getting my appetite back.

But they way she talked to me, you'd think I'd been caught hiding food or bingeing. Lately, I walk around the apartment in tight shirts and yell for Husband to look at my belly. I definitely wouldn't say I'm worried about getting fat.

Although she told me I have to gain a full 30 pounds by the time I reach the end of my pregnancy. It's normally anywhere from 25-30 but because of my size and weight, she wants it to be the full 30 pounds. My cat is around 5 pounds. That's like draping 6 of him all over my body. Or more appropriately, stacking 6 of him on my stomach. That FREAKS ME OUT. 30 pounds?! That's a lot.

So needless to say, this whole pregnancy thing is all shiny and full of happiness at the joy of life. I'm practically glowing as I sit, having to pee in the laundromat but not wanted to use the nasty bathroom.

Also, I'm hungry. Again. Maybe Taco Bell on the way home? Mmmm.....

Isn't it glamorous?

Happy New Year, 18 days Late....

2011-01-18T15:03:00.000-08:00

Well, even with the guilty hints from Twixter One, it has taken me a total of 18 days to update this brand new year, on top of the almost 6 months it has been since I've even updated at all.

Wow. That was an embarrassing revelation.

I had such high hopes of blogging all last year. It was supposed to be awesome! Twixter One and I had been working on getting our blog out there for the world to see then we just....stopped. Well, I stopped. Twixter One at least attempted, kind of. :)

Now is a new year, a time for new starts. I decided not to have any New Years Resolutions. I find I either never remember them or just feel guilty at the end of the year for not accomplishing them. The not accomplishing is usually followed by excuses to why it was an unrealistic goal in the first place. Excuse-Excuse-Whine-Whine-Whine.

Well I'm tired of whining. And I'm tired of my own excuses. So this year is a year about doing. Not goal setting and listing, it's a year of making it happen. Figuring out what the hell I actually LOVE in my life. Because I still don't truly know. I still feel like that floundering high school girl who can't decide what to major in because that determines what she'll be doing for the next 30 years of her life. How wrong was I? (Incredibly wrong, actually.)

So the real reason behind all this "doing" not pretending is my big news of 2011. I found out just before Christmas that Husband and I are expecting a little Twixter of our own. You read correctly. I'm preggo.

I do have to say how excited I am. This was not planned per say, but Husband and I were planning on kids within the next year or so anyhow. It was just a tidbit earlier than we had hoped. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone keeps telling me you are never truly ready to have kids. You just have to make it happen.

So yes, I do feel a sort of time crunch. Every time I get sick (which for me is night sickness, not morning sickness) I'm reminded of how much my body and life are going to be changing. Will forever be changed after this baby is born.

A little bit of honesty: When Husband and I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out. And not in a good way. All I saw was myself raising kids and doing nothing for the rest of my life. I mean, I have 6 college classes left to a degree. When am I going to take them? When are we going to want to set aside extra money for a crazy irresponsible projects (like moving across the country to start a production company) after we have kids? We actually have to be adults now.

Needless to say, I calmed down. A LOT. After the initial shock faded, I got excited. Who says my life has to end? It's a baby, not an anchor. My journey on this ocean of life doesn't need to marooned forever. I just picked up some extra crew.

My parents worked really hard to keep doing what they wanted to do with their lives, even after I was born. They started several business, and just kept living. I want that. I want to keep living. I'm still only 23 years old. (Oh yeah, my birthday was in November).

So there's that. Man, I forgot how awesome it feels to blog.

Hm. Maybe I can actually keep DOING it. What do you think Twixter One?

Happy New Year!

2011-01-02T19:43:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! And ... OOPS! Looks like Twixter Two and I have managed to let our little blog slip for quite some time now. But I promise you, there is good reason behind it. The last six-months have been a roller coaster, to say the least, with plenty of changes to talk about. I’ll let Twixter Two catch you up on her stories (hint-hint, clue-clue, guilt-guilt) but as for me I feel like so much has changed, to the point it seems like nothing has changed! But nonetheless - here are the highlights:

CH-CH- CH- CHANGES!
The biggest change in the past 6-months actually happened just a couple days ago. After over a year-and-a-half of living an hour (or two) away from each other, The Boyfriend has finally moved up North! Now, he’s just a 10-minute drive away, and I’m LOVING IT! After months of fighting graduation and unemployment, he finally landed a gig at one of the studios in town. It only took a couple weeks of that torturous 2-hour drive to convince him it was time to get a place up North.

I’m SO flippin’ excited to have him near me, although I have to admit, it’s going to take an adjustment. We have been in “relationship survival mode” for so long - planning out our dates weeks in advance, going days upon days without seeing each other - than now I’m not sure how to handle having a “full-time” boyfriend! Of course - it’s a great problem to have, and a great way to start 2011!

CH-CH-CH-CHANGING!
Speaking of moving: After over a year and a half at my current place, I’m pulling out the moving boxes once again. (or maybe just stealing what’s left of The Boyfriends). Over the last month its become very clear that it was time for The Actress and I to go our separate ways. (A story for another time, when distance allows me to laugh about it rather than scream.) Half of me is itching and excited to find a new place, but the other half is dreading the pack up and move dance. I can’t wait for the day when home is permanently home!

So, now it’s time for the roommate hunt, which is always frustrating, weird, and awkward. I find it funny that when dating someone you take months, even years, to decide that they are worthy enough to share your home with. But when hunting for a roommate you have a week - sometimes only days - to decide that they’re good enough to move in with - even if it’s just for a year or two. Needless to say, my roommate hunt so far has brought out it’s share of kooks, but there’s a few bright spots on the horizon that I hope will be a perfect fit.

CH-CH-CH-NOPE.
Strangely enough, the one thing that I THOUGHT would change over these past 6-months is still the same. I’d been on the job hunt over the summer months, when a “new” opportunity fell into my lap. After a good friend left our small company, her position was served to me on a sparkling silver platter. Goodbye Assistant-hood, hello - well, another job. I’d love to say that Production Coordinator was my dream job, but it brought with it quite a few obstacles to jump over (or run over) along the way. There are days that I absolutely love my job, and others that make me want to run crying back to Vegas. But, as my family continues to remind me, that’s business, so I’m sticking it out for at least a couple more months.

Of course, this all could change come February, when I’m expecting/ hoping/ praying for an acceptance letter to a industry program I applied for last November. This will be my 2nd year applying, and while I know not to get my hopes up (I have a 15/2000 chance of landing it) I can’t help but hope that this will be my year.

As I look back over 2010, I realize that it was a year of rest for me. 2010 taught me how to be satisfied with my life - to enjoy my job, my friends, and my city. However, sometimes I wonder if it crossed the line and not only taught me to be satisfied, but also to be comfortable living the same-old, same-old day after day. As I face a 2011 that I hope will be filled with changes, the comfortable part of Twixter One starts to get more and more anxious about what is to come. While I know that change is good, I have to remind me that in order to change, I have to lose control of that aspect of my life - something that I DEFINITELY don’t like to do. I’m smart enough to know that one day I’ll look back at this part of my life, and everything will once again make sense. Of course, I wouldn’t mind a little common sense here and now too.

Happy New Year All!

Family Vacation

2010-08-12T10:12:00.000-07:00

When I was really little, summer vacations were never a big deal in my family. I remember summers where all my friends would leave to go on road trips to Yosemite or the Beach, and always wondered why my family was stuck at home.

The truth is, my dad is not a big fan of crowds. It’s like pulling teeth to get him to play tourist - and to travel during the busiest time of the year is an absolute no go. Instead, we’d take our summer vacations in October - every October 31st to be exact. (Nevada Day for those who are unaware, when Nevada school children get the day off for Halloween to celebrate Nevada becoming a state). Most of the time this meant a trip to Disneyland, where my mother would dress all of the kids in horrific tye dye Micky Mouse sweatshirts and tote us around the park. (I’m pretty sure our family photo is still up for the world to see in the photo shop. yikes!) On the years that we didn’t go to Disneyland, we’d join in with a few other families and rent a houseboat for a week at Lake Mead, leaving me with many memories of a half a dozen kids sleeping under the stars on the roof of the houseboat.

My family eventually caught on to the nature of summer vacations once I was in high school. That’s when we discovered the Lake of the Ozarks. Lake of the Ozarks is a 23-hour drive from Las Vegas, and of course with MY dad that meant we’d be driving. My dad’s version of cross country road trips involves only stopping when the car says so. You have exactly the amount of time it takes to fill up the gas tank on my dad’s F250 to grab food, use the facilities, and do as many jumping jacks as possible before it’s time to hit the road for another 300 miles. As soon as I had my first job I began saving for plane tickets to the Ozarks, and I haven’t looked back since.

By the time we reached the Ozarks my family was ready for a week straight of vacation. It was the perfect vacation - our lake house tucked away at the shore - a 20 minute drive to the closest convenience store, an hours drive from the closest Walmart. It was the perfect vacation - a REAL vacation - with no plans, nothing to see, nothing to do. We went skiing, suntanned, grabbed lunch on the lake - and once we were old enough a couple of beers too. It is the idealistic vacation, and one that I relied on to refresh and replenish my soul.

As I type this, my family is currently enduring the endless road trip back to Nevada. The Baby is begging to watch another episode of Hannah Montana on the laptop, and The Teenager is complaining that she can’t get cell signal in no-wheres-ville. My mom is suggesting they stop at the cute little antique store on the side of the road, and my Dad is staring at the road sending mean thoughts to my brother for flying home early. My brother is already back early in Vegas - thinking up the best excuse to explain why he stole the Land Sharks that were being brought back for me.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting in my office, staring at a picture of the lake house on my computer screen, and pretending the sound of my air filter is really water lapping up on the lake shore.

No, my family didn’t disown me when I decided to move to LA. I was still welcome to come on our family vacation, and spent months studying the ticket prices on Allegiant hoping to grab a stellar sale. However, responsibility soon weaseled it’s way in. My vacation days were few, and as the trip came closer I was holding out for a very important phone call that I just couldn’t miss.

The time came for my family to leave, and I stayed in LA. Work was slow - I had nothing to do. and the phone call never came. Suddenly staying in LA sounded like the worst idea ever.

I wanted to call my Mom to pout and complain, thinking maybe I could trick her into suggesting that she’d pay for my plane ticket. I wanted to call my Dad and remind him that 22 is still REALLY young to be living completely independent in one of the biggest cities on earth, and doesn’t he want to see his little girl again? I wanted to throw a hissy fit, to have Mom and Dad rescue me from the boredom and frustration that is living an adult life - let me escape to the Ozarks where there is no such things as worries.

Instead a grew up, threw on my business flats, and went to work. Being an adult isn’t always so fun.

Staycation

2010-07-08T15:05:00.000-07:00

When I first started at my current job, there was one thing that I was particularly excited about: VACATION DAYS. The idea that once I worked long enough the company would PAY me to take a day off and travel to exotic locations was the cherry on top.

Of course, I didn't consider the fact that being paid for vacation days didn't necessarily mean I could afford to travel to these exotic locales. So instead my vacation days have sat unused - or even worse, used for doctors appointments.

This past weekend I finally took the plunge and took an elaborate, exciting and thrilling 4-day vacation - to Los Angeles. That's right - I took a vacation at home. Before you roll your eyes at the term "staycation" however, let me explain. I turned my vacation response on. My cell phone off. My computer stayed at my desk. Heck - I didn't even get on Facebook!

The Best flew down from Nor Cal, The Fashionista drove up from Orange County and we had a full fledged girls weekend. This WAS the kind of weekend we had dreamed about in college. We drank Bitch Wine and ate Tarts until 2 am, laid out on the beach all day, and ate at this hole-in-the-wall Hollywood spot called Miceli's where our waiter was an actor who sang "Falling in Love with You" to us gals.

On Saturday we spent bucket loads of money as we shopped literally until we dropped, and then attempted to make fruity girly drinks from sorbet and rum picked up spontaneously from Trader Joes. Sunday was a hike through Griffith Park’s “Old Zoo” and a fireworks show in the park, before we all crashed on Monday morning.

It was the perfect weekend, something that I badly needed to rejuvenate my soul and brighten my outlook on life. I think my roommate, The Actress, said it best when she mentioned that she'd never heard me laugh like that in the year we've been living together!

There is nothing that can replace good, quality time with girlfriends who intimately love and know you. There's no embarrassment, no explaining needed - just girls who know you and accept you for all your quirky qualities.

It’s been a year since I’ve moved to LA, and slowly I’ve found my way around this city and made quite a few friends in the process. But no matter how exciting the city, after a while the hum drum of life gets you down and you need something special to pick you up.

That’s where I learned the benefit of having your best friends live miles apart. There is no room to take friendships for granted, there’s no assuming that they’ll always be around for drinks or a movie. They don’t become a part of the hum drum of life.

Instead, they’re the special, amazing, miraculous thing that picks you up and brightens your outlook on life again. That turns your old hum drum of a city into an exciting staycation worth more than any Caribbean cruise. Suddenly, the distance doesn’t seem half that bad.

The Epitome of My Nerdiness: Vidcon 2010

2010-07-05T13:52:00.000-07:00

Oh. *shuffles awkwardly* It's, uh, been a while. No, things have been fine. Been busy. *looks down* You? Oh that's nice.

So as per usual, I haven't been here in a while. Over a month in fact. Whoops. But here I am now and I have some fun happening this week and I'd like to blog about it.

First, on July 11 is my 1 year anniversary. How crazy is that? It feels like just yesterday I was writing things like this. It's been such a strange journey. I realized just yesterday that I've been in Las Vegas for 7 months. I honestly thought it had only been less than 6. I thought that film school was still not that long ago. It really was that long ago. Time is moving by so fast and I don't know what to do about it.

But for our Anniversary, Husband and I are going down to Southern California to go to Disneyland!!! I haven't been in a very long time and I can't wait to go watch World of Color and visit all my favorite rides. Bonus is we also get in free since we know someone who works there still and will sign us in. Thus making it even more awesome.

But here's the craziest news. There is the conference in Los Angeles called Vidcon. And I'm going. Now many of you are asking, "Well, Twixter Two, what is Vidcon?" I'm so glad you asked.

I'll let the Vidcon2010.com site tell you in its own words: Vid-Con is a three-day conference bringing together the brightest lights in the billion-views-a-day community known as the online video industry. Join us at the first ever gathering of the most influential and popular independent video makers online and the communities that have made them a force in the world.

So pretty much one of the nerdiest things I've ever done. But here's the crazy story of how I ended up with probably 2 of the last 25 tickets available.

Husband and I were going to the midnight premiere of Eclipse (which was awesome by the way. Other update to come for that) where we realized it would be a great place to promote BITE. So we printed out little papers and walked the line selling BITE to random people waiting. I cannot begin to describe how difficult it is to explain to people that YouTube is used for more that just the dramatic chipmunk and Charlie Bit Me videos. There are people making careers out of it and I want to be one of those people.

After walking the line and the getting into the theater, we had about an hour to just wait. So Husband brought up Vidcon. He had randomly researched it while he was at work and wanted to talk about maybe going to promote BITE. Now here's the weird part: That day, I had received a random commission check from the job I hated for the EXACT amount of 2 tickets to Vidcon. The same day Husband randomly looked at Vidcon was the day I got my check. So we decided to just go. We were already going to be in California, we'd just have to extend the trip 2 days. Seemed worth it to us. So we got home from Eclipse around 3:30 AM, bought tickets, and the next morning it was sold out. Crazy, right? I know!

So we're now headed to Vidcon to attempt to promote and network and have an awesome time. I can't describe how excited I am to be there. I've been wanting to attend Vidcon since its inception and now I really get to be there.

So more update posts to come this weekend! Vidcon is Friday and Saturday. Disneyland is Sunday. Fun with Friends and figuring out how I'm finishing school Monday and Tuesday. I'm going to be so tired when we get back.

Miss you all (Especially you, Twixter One.)

--Twixter Two

The Bad Blog

2010-06-08T18:53:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, and though there’s a reason, I’ve been holding back from blogging about it.

In fact, I’ve been undecided since we started this blog about whether or not I’d blog about the subject at all. For one, this is a blog about growing up and while this certainly defines my version of “growing up”, it deviates so far away from everyone else’s version of “growing up” that I can’t argue it into the margin of error. And for two, it’s something that I usually avoid talking about. In fact, it’s something that actually took me a year to be comfortable telling anyone about at all - let alone announcing it to the world wide web.

But unfortunately at this stage in my life its becoming so overwhelming that its keeping me from blogging - both physically keeping me from being able to sit down at my laptop, and mentally keeping me from having anything to blog about.

I have fibromyalgia. The name probably sounds familiar, meaning that you’ve seen the commercial on at 2 o’clock in the afternoon where a silver haired old lady talks about her aches and pains and then supposes that the upcoming drug (and all the surgeon’s general warnings with very fine print) help her to live a normal life.

Well, I’m 22 years old and I feel like I’m doing about as well as a 78 year old lady. at least for now my hair is still brown.

Fibromyalgia wreaks havoc on your body. It makes you joints hurt, your muscles hurt, all the way down to your knuckles and your fingertips. There is never a day where my pain level is below a 4 or 5 - and those are the days I consider “good days.” My body is in a constant nerve war, leaving me continually exhausted physically and often cloudy and unfocused mentally.

I say this and it all makes sense to me, however I know that most people who read this will simply pass it off as “yea, I have days like that too” or think of me as a whinny hypochondriac who can’t handle being a little under the weather.

Well, I’m going on 3-years of being “under the weather” - a turbulent up and down, where I never know how I’m going to wake up the next morning. I’m tired of waking up each day and doing a mental check - legs good, knees bad, lower back is fine but my throat muscles are so stiff I can barely breathe. The last couple of months have been even worse as the doctor is trying to adjust my medication, leaving me in near tears every morning when it’s time to crawl out of bed.

It’s hard to explain, and even harder to explain how others should deal with the info. I don’t want to be treated differently, to have others tip toe around me or think that every time I sniffle it’s because of the fibro. (It’s not.) and yet, I need people to know and understand that I’m not a lazy or an unreliable friend when I constantly have to shift or back out of things.

I wish I was a normal twenty something, and most of the time I try to pretend that it’s so. I think I do a pretty good job of it. I push myself to go to parties and say yes to movie invitations, even when I know that it will be a mental game of “I think I can” to get myself through. Most days, it’s an accomplishment to make it through a 9-hour day at work, and when the clock hits 5:30 a sense of relief overcomes me that I haven’t fallen apart yet.

I don’t want to be like this. I’m not the introvert who wants to stay her room all day and follow friends on facebook who are out having marvelous adventures. I want to be out there, doing fun, crazy and insane things that you’re supposed to do in your twenties. But sometimes I feel like it’s going to take my entire twenties to fight through this miserable disease, and that by the time I come out on the other side I’ll find myself in adulthood having to “grow up” - when “growing up” is the only thing I’ve been doing the last year and a half that I’ve been on this regimen.

I wish this post wasn’t so disheartening or so sad, or that I had some cheery “so what do you think” to add to the end of it, but the fact is - life just kind of sucks right now. I feel like I’ve hit a rut - and this disease is only helping to turn the rut into a deep endless pit that I’ll never get out of. This week I’m making another trek over to the doctor to figure out what is going on, though that never seems to be the final answer. So, for now, excuse the spotty posting - if I ever get back to feeling close to normal again, I promise you more blogs will resume.

Lost without LOST

2010-05-23T23:52:00.000-07:00

Wow.

That is all I can say. One of my favorite shows of time, the show I have been watching live since the 2nd season, is over.

I just finished the series finale of LOST not 30 minutes ago. I have to tell you I couldn't feel more satisfied.

This won't be a spoiler blog, just my feelings of the final episode overall.

After the finale, I feel completely happy. I know there are still questions left unanswered but honestly, I don't give a shit. I LOVED the finale. I watch this show not only for the mysteries but for the love of the characters and their journey through the hell that is the island and their realities. It has been the people that have kept me enthralled even 6 seasons later.

Jack has been my favorite character from the pilot episode. Even when he was a douche bag all throughout season 3-4, I was loyal. I knew that he would redeem himself. And my God, he did.

As stated before, I'm not a very emotional person, at least vocally. I definitely found myself gasping and jumping in my seat as the story came to a close.

And yes, I will admit it, I cried.

As the final shots and conversation were happening, tears of joy and saddness ran down my face. I've been watching Lost for the last 5 years. It's been such a huge part of my life. When we first got to college, Husband and I bought season 1 on sale and started it. We ended up staying up all night for 2 nights in my car due to the dorm rules watching it on my mini DVD player. After that we were hooked.

I went to Comic Con and watched the LOST panel 2 years running. I'll never forget nearly each commercial break turning to Husband and whatever friends were watching mouth agape yelling, "WHAT?!?! What does that even mean?!" I've theorized, dreamed, screamed, jumped, laughed, cried and fought about LOST. It's been apart of me for nearly 1/4 of my life. It will always be something very special to me.

While I'm happy it's over and I feel satisfied, I'm truly mourning that my longest TV relationship has come to an end.

Oh LOST. What in the world am I going to do without you?

Do you watch LOST? How did you feel about the ending?

I'm FREE!!!!

2010-05-21T11:04:00.000-07:00

This morning is the morning I’ve been waiting for, working for, dreaming of for the last year and a half.

No - there’s no new job, ring, house, niece, nephew or cat.

But I WAS greeted with this lovely sight after making my internet rounds this morning:

That’s right! After 6-months of unemployment and over a year and a half of carrying a nasty balance on my two very high interest rate credit cards - I’M OFFICIALLY DEBT FREE!!! (Or at least bad debt free as I’ll be working to pay off “the big one” for years to come.)

I’m the kind of person who likes to work on a project, and see immediate results. I have a check list on my stickies that controls my life - I live to be able to check things off that list - to see immediate action and immediate results.

Of course, attempting to pay off thousands of dollars in credit card debt is not an instant gratification deal. At first I got frustrated - almost gave up - because even though I was brown bagging it to lunch and learning to enjoy window shopping, my credit card bill ate up my $100 payments like a little kid clearing broccoli from his dinner plate - there was SOMETHING gone, but no one could tell quite what.

But almost exactly a year later I have paid off every last penny. I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders - and it’s not just from the monetary freedom. I almost feel as if by paying off the last of my debts, I have finally put the stressful time of unemployment, my car accident, and the huge transition of moving solo to a brand new city behind me. I have paid my debt in full, and there is nothing left to haunt me from that stressful and trying time. I can start anew.

Now I have tons of plans for the future. Like HAVING A SAVINGS and finally tithing the full 10%. But none of my plans involve spending any extra money, or picking up those nasty credit cards again. In fact - I pretty much plan to stick to the same plan I’ve been on for this past year - just with a little extra cash to put towards much worthier investments. Here’s just a a few of my suggestions:

Budget for your expenses - and enjoyment - then sick to it!
I’ve heard time and time again from friends who will only budget for what they NEED (rent, food, utilities, gas) but feel guilty building in room in their budget for enjoyment. But just because you’re broke, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy life! In fact, you’re more likely to spend MORE money on “fun things” if you don’t budget for it. I have a budget for all the necessities, but I also built in a budget for entertainment, eating out, and my Disneyland pass. This way, I knew when it was okay to relax and enjoy myself - and when the budget ran tight, I stopped.

Pay Cash for EVERYTHING -or-
Use your credit card like a debit card - but be careful!
This is something that I’m split on, because I’ve done it both ways. For a while, I was using my credit card like a debit card - spending only the cash that I had in my checking account, and nothing more. It helped me earn up useful points (see more on that below) but it also got me into trouble. When I wasn’t scared about emptying my account, I didn’t analyze my purchases, and sometimes ran WAY over what I should have spent. It was also hard to track how much money I was putting towards my credit card debt - because I was transferring “regular expenses” to the credit card every pay check as well.

I eventually went back over to the old fashioned debit card / cash option, and now I pay for EVERYTHING out of my checking account. I switched over my automated payments to my debit card (with google reminders set to tell me when it’ll be taken out) and watch my mint.com account like a hawk to ensure I don’t stumble into overdraft. In fact, it’s worked pretty handy because I’m SO scared of going over, that I never even come close - helping me reign in my spending even more.

Put a little into savings, and the rest on to debt management
My savings is minuscule, but every month without fail I made sure something got deposited into my savings account to keep me afloat. However, once I fed my savings account, and made sure that the rest of my expenses would be covered - I dumped the rest onto my credit card. I realize this was a risky play, but as long as I knew that there was some money in savings to cover an emergency, and enough cash to cover me my money was doing little good just sitting in a checking account. Yes, it was nerve racking to see my checking balance low more often than not - but the comfort of seeing my credit card dip lower was better. In fact, if it wasn’t for a couple of major cash payments I made on my card in the last couple of months, I’d probably still be fighting the debt monster.

Use your points to pay finance fees
Obviously, one of the worst parts of credit card debt is the finance fees, they can eat you alive. However, even with the thousands of dollars of credit card debt, my total finance fees came under $100. How did I do this? Points, my friend. Since I was lucky enough to have a credit card with an amazing points system, I was able to cash in the thousands of points (from thousands of dollars) into cash - or rather statement credits that almost completely wiped out my finance fees.

Knowing I’ve finally conquered my credit card debt, and only for $100 worse, I feel like I can do anything! Well - anything that is, except for shopping. I think I’ll hold off on that for just a bit more.

Sacrifices for Happiness

2010-05-19T12:11:00.000-07:00

Since I can't very well allow Twixter One to post a blog and not have one to follow, here I am. Many, many things have changed since my last entry.

Here's the mini run down:
-Husband and I may or may not be moving to Florida. We may be looking into California. (Do not die of a heart attack Twixter One. You need to be on gchat nao so I can update you.)
-I quit the very well paying job I hate to take 2 lesser paid jobs that make me much happier
- I started filling out all the paperwork to go back to school this next year and graduate. I seriously cannot wait.
-Husband finished his second novel of his life and I couldn't be prouder.

Now, some explanation. I'll start with just explaining this last weekend since it pretty much changed our lives.

This last weekend, one of our best friend's from college (whom we shall call Gavin) graduated. When he invited us to his graduation party, we knew that no matter what happened, we would be there.

But first, I have been applying like a mad women (even while at work) to other places so I could quit my call center job. I knew I needed to have 2 jobs to cover what I was making there but needed to get out of that place so bad it was making me depressed. So I applied like crazy and Thursday night I got a call. I had interviewed at Old Navy and they wanted to hire me. I had the potential of 40 hours as long as I was available. And boy was I available. During the last week I had also been in talks with a manager from Starbucks (thanks to the Husband's rocking connections, I got to skip the whole interview process and just talk straight to a manager who needed a barista). She had sounded pretty sure she was going to hire me. So as soon as Old Navy offered me the job, I got in my car, drove to my call center and quit on the spot.

This was a very rash move for me. I've never just up and quit a job in my life. Ironically they wouldn't have let me put in notice anyway. They really didn't care. Proving even more how much I hated that job. So I snuck out like a thief in the night with all the items from my desk and got ready to go to California. My shoulders felt like a giant weight was lifted off them and I was practically dancing as I shopped for random stuff we'd need for the trip.

On the way down, I was confessing to husband that I was kind of depressed to be going to our old school and town because to me, the drive felt like I was going home, not going to visit. To be honest, I've felt ever since we moved that California was my home. As excited as I was for adventure and moving to Florida, I was scared it would be just like Las Vegas without family. Just Husband and I in an apartment with only 1 friend an hour away. I had suppressed that thought for a long time.

But California. Husband and I arrived looking snazzy and dressed up for graduation. It was really fun to see all the people we had missed. All the while I was slightly shriveling inside.

This was supposed to be me. I was supposed to be graduating right now.

I only have 6 classes left. But due to the move and Husband and I's financial situation and the lack of married housing on campus, we were forced to move straight to Nevada without a glance back. I sat there at graduation, proud of all my friends who were wearing their gowns and walking up the stage but still reminded I should be done. And wanted to be done. Now.

After graduation we had an amazing day. Gavin's graduation party was exactly what I want mine to be. A small group of family and closest friends celebrating a great milestone with beer and pizza. It was perfect. Afterwards, we went to the beach and just played in the sand. Gavin and his cousin and his brother from Maine actually went swimming like crazy people. But I guess if we swim in the ocean in Maine, Newport Beach isn't so bad. Afterward we ate dinner, hung out at the bathwater warm pool.

Husband and I had a dawning realization.

We miss people.

We're extremely social and as of right now, we sit in our apartment and watch TV. Every once in a while we have people to hang out with. But not like in California. We hung out with Gavin nearly every single day for 2 years. Not to mention one of my best friends in the world and maid of honor (whom we shall call Riley) was there everyday too. I just need that back again.

So needless to say, Husband and I are looking into all our options, which include moving back to California this upcoming fall or spring. We've got a lot to figure out, but I can't wait to decide.

Miss you all.

Twixter Two

Lover of Books

2010-05-18T17:58:00.000-07:00

In High School I was a lover of books. My suitcase would constantly outweigh that of all 5 of my family members’ after 4 or 5 different novels were snuck into the side creases. I brought books to my brother’s soccer games, on long car rides to our favorite Mexican restaurant across town, and even on summer vacation. Our family vacation albums are filled with pictures of me curled up on the dock with a book and a sunburn while the rest of the kids splashed from the lake.

My love of books was probably what lead me to enroll in an Great Books honors program when I was in college. (And most likely my love of story that lead me to becoming a film major). Unfortunately, while my film degree lead me to consume more and more movies and TV by the day, my classical honors education almost dried up my desire to pick up a good book.

The 4-year program demanded thousands of pages of reading from me each week during every semester of my college career. (Don’t believe me? Go and pick up “The Iliad” and “The Odyssey” and prepare yourself for my first week of freshman year.) My semesters were enlightening and intense, and at the end of the four years I can honestly say I earned my class ring. But after shoving thousands of years of literary genius into 4-years of mental insanity, I have no desire to read anything other than the headlines of Deadline.com .

I’m inching on a full year since graduation (and a year and a half after finishing my coursework) and I have successfully read 3 books. The first “The Sex Lives of Cannibals” took me a record 6-months to complete a measly 272 pages. On a slightly better record it took me 1 month to re-read “The Devil Wears Prada” and 4 days to read “The Hollywood Assistants Handbook” - not anywhere near the high literary caliber I’ve accustomed myself to but strangely applicable to my current situation in life.

It’s not that I don’t WANT to pick up the dusty paper backs that are still sitting in plastic crates in the side of my room. The epic tales of the centuries, combined with my own fond memories of microwaveable rice and cherry coke at 3 in the morning, still taunt me as I refuse to both unpack or sell my college treasures.

But, by the time the day is done, and I’ve read through all 118 of my Google Reader feeds, scoured hundreds of emails, and checked every facebook message while praying dinner is slightly edible - I’m exhausted. My brain is too tired to imagine delving into another world page by page - it is much much easier to press play on another Gilmore Girl rerun and know that even if I fall asleep, I can still predict the outcome in the end.

I’d always taken myself as a “lifelong learner” and somewhat glazed over the part of graduation where professors urged us to “continue our love of learning and our love of books” - believing that my newfound freedom would leave me plenty of room to read the books I now wanted to read. But a year out, I’m finding myself on the other side of the table.

What about you? Did years of academic rigor exhaust any love of books right out of you? or are your college paper backs now threadbare from many post-college book-a-thons?

Or better yet, any book recommendations for a post-collegiate who’s ready to slowly inch back into the world of the reading?

Sorry for the Silence

2010-04-27T18:17:00.000-07:00

I've been silent, I know. Right after I write a post about how I'd be posting more. But this monster has been taking up ALL of my waking (and some sleeping) hours:

Since I don't have any time to write now, I'll simple say -
Biola Media Conference 2010: Worlds Collide. Check it out at: www.biolamedia.com

And excuse the silence while I go back to obsessing about tables, and chairs, and drapes. Oh my!

On a Nerdy, Happy Note: Eclipse and Last Airbender!!!

2010-04-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

Well, after my last post, I figured the Twixters out there could use a little happiness. I was awoken by an awesomely sad dream at 7 am this morning which I proceeded to write down. This dream could possibly be fleshed out into a story. I just may try!

But in nerdy news, this last Friday was the release of the final Last Airbender Trailer and the Eclipse Trailer. Needless to say I was in nerd heaven. I go home from work (after a lovely alcoholic Pear Cider from BJ's with the Mom) and sat down to watch the trailers.

Let's being with the Last Airbender. I will admit, I was jaw dropped open, smiling at the screen the whole trailer. Starting with the moment we see Appa. The large air bison that Aang and the crew ride for the entire saga. It's amazing and we get to see him fly. Just a quick second, but that was all I needed. We next get to see a larger glimpse into the Fire Nation. And sweet Jesus does it look good. We also get a small glimpse of Aang fighting with the masked crusader, the "Blue Spirit". For those of you who watched the cartoon, you know who this awesome character is. For those that don't, I won't ruin it. But their fighting together looks AMAZING. It jumps around to some more wonderful CG that is epic. Aang flying, more water and fire bending, and a final small fight scene between Zuko and Aang. I died and went straight to nerd heaven.

Now, Eclipse. I was very excited about this trailer, but my reaction wasn't nearly as excited. Maybe it's because I've read the books so much and now already associate the actors with the book characters in my mind, it's not that hard for me to imagine transference of book to film. Needless to say, I watched anyhow and filmed my reaction. My first thought was I love Jacob. Seriously. I'm so happy Taylor Lautner got to stick it out because I think he's perfect. I love the larger part he plays in Eclipse. And the wolves look SO much better. It hasn't even been that long since New Moon but the CG is much improved. My favorite like in the trailer would have to by Jacob's, "As long as we get to kill some vampires.". Awesome. The newborn army is so much bigger looking on screen than I ever imagined in my head, which is definitely a good thing. I am so excited about the fighting it's ridiculous. I will say that one of Stephanie Meyer's weakness is her inability to really write fight scenes. Our main character Bella is usually so wrapped up in herself or unconscious during any sort of fight that we never see them in the books. David Slade's vision of the fight scenes look epic and amazing.

So there you go. My reactions to the new nerdy trailers this week. What did you guys think? Which one did you like better or did you only watch 1 or the other? Let us know!

The Blog That Stopped All The Others

2010-04-23T18:52:00.000-07:00

Well, to be honest, I can make a bunch of excuses why I haven't blogged in over 2 weeks I think now. I've had so much to do, I've been so busy with work, haven't had much to write about.

The problem is all aforementioned excuses and the plethora more I can create are not the truth. The reason I haven't written is because I was avoiding writing this blog in particular. Now you may say, "Why Twixter Two didn't you just skip this one and move on?" Ah. There in-lies the problem.

My grandfather, whom I call Opa died April 17 a few years ago. He had been sick for a few years, fighting cancer and going in and out of the hospital. Even though through all that, he'd always been there.

Ironically now that I'm trying to write this blog, I don't know what to say.

How do you blog about things like this? Even when it's "anonymous" I still can't seem to express how hard it is to randomly think about calling him and remembering I can't. I can still remember the smell of his house and his cologne. I remember stealing his brush as a little kid so I could brush my hair with it so it'd smell like him. My Opa helped raise me from a baby. I was the first kid's diaper he changed even after having 5 kids himself and other grandchildren before me.

For whatever reason I was his special girl and he was always my favorite. He was so proud of me graduating high school and going to college. I still get sad knowing that he wasn't there at my wedding.

Even though I didn't cry at his funeral, I feel like a piece of me is missing with him gone. I can't even begin to understand how it feels like to lose someone you love when it's a complete surprise. It's been a few years and I still can't help buy nearly cry when I see things that reminds me of him. It makes it even harder being back in Las Vegas where he's been most of my life. When I was in California, I could pretend like he was still there but I just kept forgetting to call. Here, it's real. His house has someone else in it. His favorite places to eat won't have him as a customer, and haven't for quite some time.

I'll forever pay full price for a pint of hagan daas coffee ice cream since that was always his favorite. He would eat it so smoothly straight out of the pint. As a kid, I'd sit on his kitchen counter eating his ice cream with my clumsy un-even scoops but he never seemed to care.

I still can't really talk to anyone about this. I feel embarassed for whatever reason. Like I shouldn't be this sad still when there are people like Husband who lost his dad. I can't even think about that idea.

I feel like i'm just emotional vomit blogging now. I think this is at least a start. Maybe now I can blog about more silly/fun things like the new Eclipse trailer or the book series I finished a few weeks ago. We'll see.

You Tell Us ...

2010-04-15T15:50:00.000-07:00

So Twixter Two and I have started to let blog posts slide again. We were doing so well for quite a while - churning out posts every other day. I can’t tell you what made things slow down, except that maybe we let life get in the way of our blogging. I know shame on us.

Did you miss us?

No, really - Did you miss us? We’re trying to decide if our blogging 4+ days a week is actually paying off and if more than just Mom & Dad are sticking around to read our posts each week. Too much? Too little?

And for those of you not Mom & Dad - what do you want to read? More posts about our day to day lives? or tips, advice and frustration on being a Twixter in general?

Let us know you're reading, and share your thoughts in the comments!

Back to Normal

2010-04-15T15:13:00.000-07:00

The past couple of weeks I’ve been in a huge funk - to use the most simplistic term possible. Achy, tired, unmotivated I was jumping back into hermit mode where I thought a marathon of Gilmore Girls for the 3rd night in a row was the definition of a good time. Finally things have gotten sorted out, and for the first week in a while I feel like life is back to what normal should be.

This weekend I managed to skip out of the office a little early to make the drive down to San Marcos to see a couple of dear friends. Mr. A and I were in honors classes together in college and when he introduced me to Mrs. A (then Ms. C of course) we were insta-friends. Now they’re married and live a total of 2 and a half hours away from me, which I deem completely unfair. They’re expecting their first baby in just a couple months and I can’t wait to have a little niece or nephew to play with!! (I was very tempted to nickname them “Mama Bear” and “Papa Bear” in this entry as they’re the first of my friends to be married. But looks like practicality won out.)

Anyways, I spent Friday evening with them in their brand new house and Mama Bear (okay okay - I like it better) and I went shopping at Target for over two hours. You know that you’re the best of friends when shopping at Target is an adventure. The rest of the weekend flowed with coffee and conversation, and I remembered what it was like to have my close friends nearby. When everyone scattered after graduation it was hard to think of how our friendships would survive being such long distances apart, so I love having friends who pick up after months away like nothing ever happened.

Sunday was a rough day for me on the “getting back to normal” track, but Monday brought with it another long lost friend moment. Mrs. H (there I go again with the uncreativeness) drove up the 405 for some quality chinese take out and movie date. We gabbed too much to remember anything of the first half of Whip It but the second half has us totally pumped to find a roller derby in LA. We’re already brainstorming our derby names, and plotting ways to trick The Boy and her husband on a double date to the derby.

The rest of this week has seemed to speed by - fully bringing me up to speed and back to normal. I went down to my Alma Mater for the day to work on the Conference that I volunteer for every year, and got myself some yummy Chick Fil A while I was at it. Now The Boy is up North for a few nights before we head out on our vacation tomorrow - so EXCITED for my long weekend! See you next week!

Grown Up at 22

2010-04-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

It was late on Friday afternoon and I’m maneuvering my tiny blue Nissan Sentra down the 5. The sun is streaming in from my window, the rays bouncing off of the waves that are peacefully lapping on the shore just off the side of the freeway. I kick off my Steve Maddens and grip the rubber pedals with my bare toes. My iPhone is streaming music both too old but too young to be cool, since I haven’t updated my music library since college. As I continue to drive up the coast I get a wave of memories - I pass the beach we went skinny dipping at after finals my sophomore year, and the place we made Twixter Two dance with her boa during her bachelorette party.

It’s a beautiful spring day in Southern California, and as I push my sunglasses back into my hair and take a sip of lemonade it hits me - This is my twenties. I am living in a city than many people can only dream of visiting and I have the freedom to appreciate it’s finer points. In that moment, all the stress of growing up melted away and I realized that I’ve grown up. It may not be the life that my parents, my friends, my co-workers or my roommates dream of when they think of living in LA at 22. But for the past 22 years I’ve dreamed of what my life would be like when I was a “grown up” and on days like today, I feel like I’m living that dream.

Independence

2010-04-08T10:14:00.000-07:00

This year I have reached a HUGE milestone in my life:

I am independent.

or at least according to the federal government I am. That’s right, it’s tax time. When it came time to settle in and finally figure out my taxes, I reached a HUGE question, right on page one:

“Can someone else claim you as a dependent?”

For the first 21 years of my life, this question was a given. But suddenly I’m staring at my taxes faced with the defining question of my twenties:

“Am I REALLY independent?”

In an irony of sorts I picked up the phone and proceeded to have an hour-long conversation with my Dad to try to navigate my way between dependence and independence. (at least according to the US government)

About halfway through, we decided that yes, for one more year, I was a dependent. I calculated my W-2’s and typed them neatly into Turbo Tax, only to be met with a very nasty red number. My thought?

Hey Dad – if I’m a dependent, I’m depending on you to help me pay this bill. Yikes!

And that’s when Dad and I started to play the tax game. Uncheck a box here, calculate the distance moved here, and suddenly my number went up and up and up until WOW! I got the biggest tax refund I have ever seen. (Thinking back to the days when I was SUPER PSYCHED to get my $90 refund. WooHoo!)

At the end of the hour I had a very nice little green number at the top of my screen, and I told my Dad goodbye.

Thanks for the great life Dad, but I think I’ll take it from here. ;)

Of course, there is the downside to being independent. And well, it’s that I’m dependent. No longer to my parents, but to my credit card. It steals my independence, literally down to my very last cent.

So, my hefty check from the US government didn’t stay in my account more than a couple of hours before the entire amount (plus a little extra) was immediately transferred on to my credit card bill. As my credit card balance dropped, so did my excitement as I remembered the days where tax refunds meant a full-fledged girl’s day – complete with shopping trip.

But today, I woke up to another direct deposit into my account – this time from the State of California. I had completely forgotten! I spent all of my “dependent” life as a Nevada resident, basking in the glory that is no state income tax. But California is in debt, and we don’t have that luxury. I cringe every two weeks as I see the extra little line on my paycheck as my precious dollars are taken away by the state.

Except for the fact that now, I got a few of them back.

Of course on the flip side, now I’m also VERY tempted.

Over the last couple of months I’ve been VERY dedicated to sticking to a budget. I’ve bought no extras, no splurges, just strictly what I need and nothing else. It’s been very exhausting. So part of me wants to take my state tax refund as just a little reward to myself. That is, until the responsible side kicks in.

As always, I’m torn between the responsible thing to do, and the thing that will make me feel just a little bit happier. It’s time to make a responsible adult choice.

So what did you do with your tax refund? Did it all go towards paying off debt? Or do you get to have a little fun?

More Blue Collar Than I Ever Thought

2010-04-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

So I realized something yesterday.

I think I'd rather be a blue collar worker. Not necessarily the stereotypes of construction or things like that, but I really don't mind wearing a uniform.

Right now I work in an office type environment, tethered to a desk for 8 hours and it drives me crazy. Only reading blogs online can keep me occupied in my down times for so long. My limbs long for walking and standing.

It's ironic because I always saw myself as a sort of up and coming business woman wearing epic heels and pencil skirts, giving presentations and holding meetings. I walk by the meeting rooms at work now and cringe. No one looks glamorous, or like they're even enjoying a minute of their work. They all sit, staring at their laptops while watching Power Points full of graphs and data.

*Excuse me while I vomit*

Now I know that I don't just want to be a "worker" my whole life. I want to move up, get promoted, manage. Just maybe not in an white collar type office.

The more and more I think about it, the more I realize the only thing I've truly been passionate about my entire life is people. Now I do wish it was something a little more sell-able, like photography or being an expert harp player or something, but it's just not. I love people. I also love helping them by being as knowledgeable as I can be on my subject of work. Just ask Husband or Twixter Two. I know far too much random crap than any person ever should.

So yeah. Now I just have to wait 5 months to see if Disney is going to be it for me. Maybe I could handle working in an office if I love what I'm working for. Or who I'm working for.

What do you think? Are you more Blue Collar or White Collar? Or something in between like me?

Moved in!

2010-04-06T09:15:00.000-07:00

I know it's not my blog day, but I'm super duper behind so we'll double post! :)

Well Twixters, I have crossed a threshold in the steps to my adulthood.

I have an apartment. My own apartment. That I pay rent and utilities for. And with that has come several revelations.

Now it may seem strange that at 22 I’ve still never lived in my own apartment. That can be easily explained: I lived 4 years in the dorms on campus the entire year, including summers and winter breaks, then while studying abroad, Husband and I lived in a “prepaid by tuition” apartment. Yeah, sure. It was an apartment, but I could take a 2 hour shower with all the lights on while baking cookies and the TV on in the background without blinking at the costs.

It’s a strange feeling to worry about my electricity. While growing up, I was raised to always shut the lights off, take short showers, etc. But I really didn’t care. If I forgot to turn the lights off in my room, no one really noticed.

Oh, I notice now. I practically live in the dark. I know the savings are minimal but they’re savings nonetheless.

Even further proof that I’m growing up.

The next revelation is that Husband and I own way too much shit. I mean seriously. I nearly threw out my back moving into our 2nd floor apartment. As we unpacked, we started a Goodwill Box. That box turned into 2, then 3 and we’re now at 7 and counting, on top of smaller items that have their own boxes. Thank goodness my parents are having a garage sale this weekend. Hopefully we can make some profit on all the stuff we’ve kept from college. I get so mad at myself as I look through the boxes, wondering the hell I was thinking keeping old scantrons, without the test. Or the free Victoria’s Secret dog stuff animals they gave away at Christmas probably 3 years ago.

It’s amazing the difference I feel about the sentimental value of stuff. I’m learning that the memories I have are far more important. Yes, I am still keeping some useless things, but you know what, in 5 years I can throw that away wondering why I kept that.

The apartment is so so close to being all put away. Maybe I’ll post some pictures…

Oh and Giles adores the apartment.

April Fools!

2010-04-01T16:56:00.000-07:00

April Fools was always a fun holiday in our house and my Dad has endured year after year of the sugar-to-salt switcher-roo in his morning coffee. Some of the pranks have been funny, others predictable, and one or two outright mean. But it being April Fool’s Day always managed to soften the blow.

Yesterday was March 31, and around 3:00p and my coworker and I were hit with the normal mid-afternoon boredom. Our minds don’t sit idle for long and we decided that it was prime time to play an April Fools day joke on The Boss.

We had already coordinated for everyone in our small office to call in sick (which the boss picked up after the first text) but then I stumbled upon this great little gem on Instructables.

My boss LIVES off of his computer and while you would think that would make him a computer-expert, I get an exasperated call into my office 4 or 5 times a day to come and fix this computer bug or to show him where the short cut is for that. Of course the perfect April Fool’s Day joke would be to help the computer along in it’s little “mix ups.” So while The Boss was away I slipped onto his computer to install “The Total Confusion Combo Pack” - sure to spark his computer into dozens of little mix ups the moment the clock struck midnight on April 1st.

My co-worker and I were barely holding our laughter when we started to hear the “HMPHs” and “HAWs” around 9 am this morning. I don’t know how I kept a straight face when he called me into his office moments later with a “Why is my firefox switching around all the letters?” and “What is this Rick Roll’d thing?” I had him opening and shutting windows, restarting and clearing his cache numerous times before we could hold it in no longer.

“How long has it been doing this?” I asked from across the wall, sitting in my office where I could hide my grin.

“Since I woke up at 3 am this morning - I’ve restarted the thing over 100 times! Could I have a virus?”

At the 6-hour mark, I don’t think the joke could have been anymore perfect.

I bargained with The Boss that if I could fix his computer he would have to take the entire company out to lunch. After he agreed it took two clicks on the tool bar and his computer was back to it’s pristine condition.

My chicken-wrap at lunch never tasted more sweet.

Did you play an April Fools Day joke today? Or maybe one was played on you? Let us know in the comments below.

Either way, I hope everyone had a good laugh this April Fools!

I Understand Your Frustration, Ma'am.

2010-03-31T12:04:00.000-07:00

Working in Account Services (retention) makes me apologize. A lot. Now, I'm told that I'm a great communicator. In my month or so on the phones, I've never had a customer request a manager or supervisor. As my supervisor would say, "It's because I don't have any stink on my voice". I'm assuming that means attitude. I really don't have any of that. In fact, I'm told that I'm too nice.

To maintain my job without getting in trouble, I'm supposed to "save" 45% of my customers. Right now my rate is at 40%. The problem is I care too much. I feel that the customer is telling me the truth. Why would they be lying about what happened in their life? Your life is terrible. You called the right person. I'll track my manager down and get your Early Termination Fee waived.

Now that is the wrong first thought. I'm supposed to look at what I see on the computer and feel no mercy. Customers lie. Often. I was cussed out for 30 minutes by a woman yesterday who sounded like satan. As she yelled, her voice became all guttural and creepy. I did not enjoy it. All over internet service.

While I'm not keeping the most customers for my company, most of them leave with a much better taste in their mouth about this company and may come back. I could say that all day, but I'm still 5% down from acceptable, let alone 7% from getting bonuses.

So for the first time in my life, I'm learning how to be mean. It seems so backward in customer service, but I have to begin to process that I work for a business, not the customer and do what's best for the company.

This continues to solidify the fact that I need to not work in this kind of customer service. I need to be somewhere that really is about your actual experience.

A place like, oh, Disney World. :)

Lunch Time

2010-03-30T12:47:00.000-07:00

Twixter Two and I have a clever little work time ritual that involves treating our business emails like instant messenger - desperate to talk to someone from outside our tiny cubicles during the 9-5 work day. But right around noon every day the subject inevitably swings to the same subject: soup.

Okay, not soup - but lunch time. Unfortunately for us, lately lunch time = soup. Yesterday she had potato. I had chicken noodle. Last week it was split pea. and tomato. We’re both so sick of soup.

Today I branched out a bit and rummaged through the cupboard to find some Uncle Ben’s microwaveable Rice Pilaf. hmmm. Well, at least it’s not soup. it’s rice.

Soup and Rice are the foundations of my lunch time diet. Our office keeps a fridge and pantry stocked with easy lunch time necessities - but that largely comes down to soup, rice, or sandwiches. I’ve had a dislike for sandwiches every since Jr. High days - after eating sandwiches for lunch for 12-years of my life, I just can’t stomach turkey on wheat anymore. So again, that leaves me soup. and rice. soup and rice.

It starts to get old after a while, but I just can’t bring myself to bring valuable groceries from home, when there is free food sitting right in the office fridge. But I hate the food we have in the fridge. Too often the meager offerings of the company fridge send me out to get fast food. But this month The Boss has been in town - which means no lunch break for me. (But consequentially no wasteful spending on fast food. There’s an upside to everything.) So instead, I get to eat soup. and rice. soup and rice.

I’m really starting to dislike soup and rice.

Of Generation HP

2010-03-29T12:55:00.000-07:00

Recently, one of my unattainalbe life dreams actually became an attainable dream.

They announced the opening date of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park in Universal Studios Florida.

I consider myself of the Generation Harry Potter (HP). When the first HP book released, I was 11 years old, just like Harry Potter. For the books 1-3, I aged and experienced the same (general) life confusions as my fictional counterparts. And as the books spanned farther apart in release, the age and maturity of Harry Potter and friends matched mine.

I actually grew up with Harry Potter.

I felt like the world that he lived in could be my own. I could be a witch. I could study with Hermione for endless hours in the library. I could meander the ground and visit Hagrid's cabin during free periods. I also, could see myself absolutly loving Dumbledore and all his wisdom. My mother embraced the series whole heartedly, even against the fear of her children reading about wizards and witchcraft. It was the first book that Brother read on his own. He was the kid that hated reading and had attention issues. But he could sit on the floor of my room (with the only CD player upstairs) reading along with the books on tape for hours on end. It made him understand the power of reading and the world it creates.

When they started filming the movies, Harry Potter became real. The sets existed, somewhere in the world. Things I had only imagined in my mind were there, looking EXACTLY like they did in the books. I wanted to see the sets so bad. I didn't. Of course. As a young, normal person in the world, there was no way.

But now, oh now. They built the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I can actually go there. I can see the Hogwarts Express, billowing smoke ready to take new students to be sorted.

So, as nerdy as this post is, I will probably cry the first time I set foot on the park. It will be the world I dreamed about for 10 years literally alive before my eyes.

Wow. I am a nerd. But at least I'm not alone.

Poor and Post-Grad

2010-03-25T19:08:00.000-07:00

Throughout college I would often refer to myself as “the poor college student,” bemoaning my measly 20-hour a week student salary. While I certainly wasn’t out buying designer jeans and cosmos every night, I had a very limited idea of what it meant to be poor. My apartment was covered by student loans and Mum & Dad were always there if the grocery fund ran low.

But still, I was a college student living in my own naiveté world and incredibly eager to receive that FIRST full time paycheck. I’d spent 2-3 months every summer working 40-hours a week in Vegas, and just imagined what possibilities would arise when that paycheck would raise and be deposited year-round.

But then I moved to LA. and LA is EXPENSIVE. My rent eats up almost half of my paycheck. I’d never written that big of a check until the day we signed our lease - heck, I’d never even had that much in my checking account!

But, with my biggest expense out of the way, I was sure the rest of the money would cushion the bottom of my bank account - I was working full-time now, nothing to worry about at all. But slowly that money slipped further and further away until I was left with an empty bank account and a credit card bill at the end of every month.

At first I just thought that I was horrible at managing my money. It was time for a budget. So I signed up for mint.com and became an instant fan. It made it so easy to set out a budget, and even easier to see if I was keeping to that budget. I may have gone a little overboard, logging every last purchase down to the $2 cash I spent on slurpees at 7-11. But after just a couple of months, I was keeping religiously to my budget.

Months and months of budgeting, and I only saved around $100 a month. That was barely enough to cover my finance fees.

So I took it to the finance blogs. In case you haven’t heard we’re in a recession and everyone has advice on how to save money. “Cut your luxuries!” they say. “Understand the definition of necessity!” they cry. Here’s the top 5 pieces of brilliant advice I’ve found over and over again:

A gym membership is not a necessity, and should be cut.
(Well there’s a total $0 I found from my free runs out at the Rosebowl.)

Stop eating out - it could save you thousands!
(I read as I stare at my 4th bowl of plain pasta this week.)

Use coupons (check!)

Buy generic (check!)

Only buy what you need (check! check! check!)

I have yet to find one piece of advice that I wasn’t already doing. The fact is, I’m living as frugally as I can in sunny Southern California.

On my 50th finance blog, it was finally time to face reality:

I am one of those poor unfortunate assistants.

In fact, according to Hollywood University I am on the lowest of the low paid assistants. So low in fact, that I’m not sure if my salary is listed on this site.

In Hollywood, you have a choice to make. Live boring or Live poor. So many of my friends eat Top Ramen every night and live in a 2-bedroom with 4 other girls. Their credit card is always at the limit, but they live well. Drinks every night with the co-workers, and they look ever so “Hollywood glam” every morning at the office.

I’m on the other end of the spectrum. I have fresh veggies in my fridge, and am currently curled up in my single bedroom. I am chipping away at my credit card bill bit by bit - every drink I turn down is another $10 towards financial freedom. I haven’t been shopping in almost 6-months, and am anxiously awaiting for the must see movies to hit Red Box.

So what about you? Are you living boring, or living poor? or If you’re in LA - any ideas for living “the LA life” for free?

As If The World Couldn't Get Sadder...

2010-03-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

Seriously? What is the world coming to?

One of the blogs I follow(mashable.com)updated this morning about a new dating site called Gamecrush.com. (Check out the original story here )

Here's the rundown on GameCrush: Gaming boys (or girls) sign up online and set up dates where they play games on their XBOX 360 or online computer games with the opposite sex. These dates last 10 minutes and the Gamer looking for love pays with points that are purchased with REAL MONEY. These points are paid as well as they are supposed to tip their "date" with whatever other points they have. Here's the kicker: the "date" can then redeem those points for cash.

This is a glamorized nerdy version of a phone sex line for nerds. W. T. F.

I mean, I get it. Nerdy guys sometimes have problems finding girls
who understand them, let alone want to play video games with them. But
resorting to paying for an online gaming date? I just can't even begin to
express how sad this is.

As a nerdy girl myself, I understand it can be difficult to find
someone who shares those traits with you. But there are people out
there!

Go on dates within your Guild members before paying for a date with some
random girl online.

I'll never understand this.

Rebel

2010-03-23T21:23:00.000-07:00

The most rebellious thing I’ve ever done is pierce my nose.

My father swore that if I were to ever A) dye my hair black and/or B) pierce my nose, that was the end of me. The phrase “Not under my roof” was uttered more than once.

Almost exactly to one month after I was no longer under his roof I made a spontaneous decision while shopping in Pasadena with a girlfriend to pierce my nose.

Of course, spontaneous is somewhat a relative term. I’ve wanted to get my nose pierced since I was a sophomore in college, and came pretty close once or twice when I lived abroad in London (but somehow the sketch of Camden market always scared me away.)

However, that day in September my girlfriend and I were supposed to be shopping for work appropriate clothes, and I walked out with a nose stud. Luckily, I work in the entertainment industry and no one gives a second glance to things like piercings and tattoos. (I actually had to point the change out to both The Boss and Mrs Boss, who thought I had gotten my hair cut instead.)

Nevertheless, my parents don’t work, live or think about the entertainment industry, and I was frightened beyond all belief of revealing the big secret to them. I was your uber suck-up good kid in High School. The most rebellious thing I did was stay at church until after 10:00 pm on a school night. (Yes, I was that kid who got grounded from church, on more than one occasion.)

I’ve never seen the point in disrespecting your parents. It made sense to me why I shouldn’t drink, do drugs or sleep around. and while my mother and I got into some pretty Olympic screaming matches in High School, it usually had to do with me wanting to grow up. (Ha - memo to High School Twixter One: DONT RUSH.)

But everyone reaches a point when they need a little rebellion in their lives. So mine was a nose piercing, which I was certain my parentals would hate. I dreaded with excitement the moment that they would finally realize my deed. Planned out how I would reveal it, and perfected my arguement of why I shouldn’t be shunned.

But when I finally made the big reveal, it was no big deal. My mom said it looked cute. My dad just rolled his eyes. Pretty anti-climactic for the most rebellious thing I’ve ever done in my life. Maybe it's time I experiment with a little black dye.

Thanks, But No Thanks.

2010-03-22T12:13:00.001-07:00

So, I had an interesting week at my job here at the call center.

First, I was offered to produce (with zero budget mind you) a training video encompassing all the different departments of the company. It’s going to be cheesy, very corporate and I’m in love with the project. There’s a new kid in the training class (who is a d-bag who thinks he's God's gift to broadcasting,but working in a call center) who has all the equipment I’d need. He’s a broadcast major who’s very excited to help/take over the entire project. Ehem.

THEN after that, my trainer, whom we shall call Trainer (I’m creative, I know), approached me and asked me if I was good at Excel. Let me give a little back story on young Twixter Two. I was the child, where at age 9, created an Excel document of my Christmas wish list. I included graphs breaking up my gifts by cost brackets, what stores they were from and level of desire.

I’m completely serious.

But after that, all I’ve know is above the average person about excel. I can fix basic problems and create general formulas.

So I told Trainer that I was good at Excel. I am, above the average Joe. So I had a meeting with the big boss on campus, whom we shall call Bundles. Well, Bundles offered me Friday, “a loan”. What this loan means is while my pay and title remain the same, I am on loan to Bundles to help with the corporate Excel documents. Highly classified information about the company, including performance reports, etc. Well, Bundles wanted me to repackage the information into different graphs and formulas. And learn a technique called VLOOKUP.

Now I accepted the position. I was dazzled. I’m brand new to this company, only starting out on February 1st. To be offered something like this is unreal. It was implied that if I stayed and showed the stuff I was doing had some value, it would become an actual management position.

Then I went home. Husband helped un-dazzle me of the excitement of getting offer a kind-of-promotion. And I spent 2 hours trying to learn VLOOKUP. I had no idea what it was talking about. I’m a fast learner, but I researched VLOOKUP on 5 different Excel sites and still could not figure it out. This was a problem, since that was going to be my main formula. Then I had some questions. I’m not getting a raise, but I have more responsibility: would my title change? What can I write down on my résumé? If I change my hours, will that affect this?

After all the questions rolled around in my head, and the lack of Excel knowledge, on top of the fact that Husband and I are moving in less than 6 months, why would I take this position? For 1, it’s way over my head. For 2, it’s not very beneficial to a company to train someone for a promotional job when they’re going to be leaving. For 3, I was scared out of my mind I would suck completely at it.

So I talked to Bundles this morning and was very honest. It had nothing to do with her, just the fact that if it were my company, I wouldn’t want me to take the position. Bundles was very surprised by my honesty. Not many people would sacrifice getting off the phones in a call center life.

Little does she know I just didn’t want to give up my bonuses. (Bwahahahaha).

Reunited and It Feels Soo Good!

2010-03-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

I had a scary revelation yesterday:

I am slowly inching up on the one-year anniversary of my undergraduate graduation.

That’s scary.

So often in this blog Twixter Two and I bemoan the loss of our carefree college days. While college had it’s ups and downs, there is no way to look back on it without calling it “the best years of our lives.” But we had to grow up and leave our comfy college towns, and thats when real life began.

Last weekend I had a chance to escape real life, if only just for a couple days. The Best came down for a spontaneous visit from Nor Cal and for the first time since graduation, the old crew was together again.

The weekend kicked off with grabbing pizza and beer on Friday night and everything fell comfortably into place. (and even though I hate beer, The Director as usual managed to trick me into finishing at least half a glass. - like I said, back to normal.) After a late night finished off at the boys apartment (the latest I’ve had since graduation) we spent a beautiful Saturday with wine and baguettes in the park and it couldn’t have been more perfect.

It’s weekends like these that make me miss college, and at times seriously consider returning. True, I could do without the tests, the homework and the endless all nighters. But the stress and the frustration of being a full time college student are easily looked over after graduation when you have those kind of memories to look back on.

A lot of people can survive this college to real life transition because they never leave their college town. They find an apartment driving distance from campus and still gather together for LOST marathons with the group every week.

Sadly, my friends were all too adventurous - while one or two stayed near campus, most of us scattered just far enough away to make spontaneous drop-bys impossible. I’m excited for and proud of each member of our group - everyone is going for their goals straight out of college. But it does make my nights and weekends pretty lonely. What I would do to have everyone living in the same complex again - to have someone to borrow a cup of flour from (and consequentially have a flour flight with) or to be free enough to have a spontaneous sing-along in the courtyard.

Adult life and a 40-hour work week can get pretty lonely. It’s even more lonely when you’ve moved to a new town. The free time I was so anxious for in college isn’t always worth it when there is no one close to spend that free time with. While yes, I have made new friends and have had some wonderful post-college experiences, there is nothing that can replace my college friends. They’re family.

Family Matters

2010-03-18T09:41:00.001-07:00

I am the first child of four. Besides me there is my almost 20-year-old brother, my almost (ohdeargodohno) 16-year-old sister, and the baby of the bunch (at 6) living at home with my parents in Las Vegas.

Of those four, I am clearly the first to move away from home - but at the moment I am also the only one to be out of state as well. My brother was oh-so-lucky that the state university had a kick-ass program for his major and used his Nevada funded scholarship money with pride - and remained in town.

At the moment, that makes me the odd one of the bunch, living 4-hours away from my entire family. (and I mean ENTIRE as all my grandparents, aunts, and uncles live a driving distance away from each other in LV).

To some degree, I quite like it - it gave me the chance to be truly independent in a sink or swim kind of mentality. I get to keep my own schedule, and maintain my own apartment without the fear of an unexpected parental drop by.

But there are some weeks, like this week, where 4-hours might as well be 20.

My brother and sister and I haven’t always gotten along. We all went through that period as we made our way through Jr. High and High School where each of us thought the others were miserable human beings. But somehow over the last year things have changed.

Suddenly I’m getting phone calls from both The Golfer (brother) and The Teenager (sister) begging me “Sissy help me!” from across the state lines.

Sometimes it’s the “Mum is driving me nutts - and you’re the only one that understands!!!” call - to which I patiently listen and remember to later apologize to my mother for when I went through those years.

At other times it’s heartbreak, a desperate plea of “I think I’m going to lose them...” where my heart just breaks and all I want to do is hold them, however so awkwardly. (as both The Golfer and The Teenager tower over my 5’ 2“ frame.)

After so many years of screaming “I HATE YOU” at the top of my lungs to a slammed door, why now when I’m 300 miles away do I actually like my family?

There are some days I want nothing more than to grab coffee with The Golfer on a break between work, or take The Teenager out shopping. My Dad has promised me first ride on the lake tube this summer, and yet I don’t even know when that will be. And all of that’s not even touching on how often I desperately need a Mum date - just her and I and hours of conversation.

I think for me, this is the hardest strand of Twixterdom to break. I am ready to pay my own bills, to work a full time job, to clean my own apartment and manage my own schedule. But I was never the kid who wanted to pick up and move away from Mom & Dad, only to call on Christmas and birthdays. My family is THE most important thing in my life , and yet I have to watch them from afar as my job and life demand that I live in LA.

So what do you think? Does anyone have any advice on how to be a big sister from 300 miles away? Or should I just keep praying that the Maglev will one day become a reality?

Not Exactly My Kind of Holiday

2010-03-17T12:42:00.000-07:00

Exactly 5 years ago today, I ended a 6 month boy fast my senior year of high school. I write that again for those who don’t know me. My senior year of high school, I went on a no boy/flirting fast for 6 months to learn exactly who I am. It was seriously one of the best times in my life. So every year since then, I’ve tried to make every St. Patrick’s Day special.

This year started with an emotional breakdown.

Now, I’m not one to be very emotional. Like I’ve said in earlier blogs, even typing this now, I’m mildly regretting writing it. But alas, I will persevere.

I woke up this morning and just felt overwhelmed. Like everything in the entire world I was worried about was on the forefront of my mind. Then I got a text message from my favorite teacher of time (who happens to be my academic advisor, the officiant at my wedding, and stand-in grandpa since mine passed away). All he said was that he missed me and wished I could be TA-ing his class this year.

I just started bawling. I seriously couldn’t stop. I couldn’t get ready for work; nothing could make me feel better. I feel so bad for Husband. There was nothing he could do but just lay with me.

All my thoughts just kept spiraling. What if I don’t want to move to Florida? What if I want to move back to California? When am I going to finish school? What if I don’t get hired at Disney? What if this apartment doesn’t help make me happier in this stupid city? Can I really make it 5 more months here before I go nuts?

I’m apologizing now. I hate writing blogs like this. I always feel so “whoa-is-me! I-have-a-full-time-job-a-place-to-live-and-an-amazing-family but wah wah wah”.

But this is my blog entry. So whatevs.

I ended up being 3 hours late to work. Not a normal occurrence for me as I am a very on time person.

So even now at work, I feel on edge. Like someone is going to say something to me and I’m just going to start crying. There are very few things I hate more than crying in public. One would be wetting my pants. That’s seriously how much I hate crying in front of people.

So now I’m avoiding everyone like the plague and just counting down the hours until 2:30 when I can escape to the safety and solitude of my car.

Hopefully I can make it 2 more hours.

Not exactly the type of memory I like to have for St. Patrick’s Day. But I guess they can’t always be fun.

The Need to Move

2010-03-16T12:10:00.001-07:00

[Editors Note: This blog was written and slated to run today, long before Twixter Two made her exciting announcement below. Slightly ironic, don’t you think?]

6-months ago, all my blog posts were raving about my new apartment that was prepped and ready for me to move into. I was so excited.

Now that we’re six months in to a year-long lease, the excitement has worn off. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fabulous apartment. We got a stellar deal (paying nearly $800 less than our neighbors in fact) but I’m beginning to realize it’s a stellar deal on an apartment that may be too much for me to handle. This apartment would have been MY DREAM when I was in college – as a two story town house each person has their own little hole to curl up into when they need to study, with the downstairs completely open for hanging out and partying. But I’ve soon come to realize that my post college life doesn’t entail as many midnight marathons of Bones as college did. Furthermore, my roommate is rarely ever home – leaving a huge kitchen, dining room and living room downstairs open as I wander from room to room wondering why its so quiet. Even when she is there, she’s usually holed up in her own room making barely any noise. (Unless of course it’s 4 am and she bursts into my room to tell me about the earthquake that just happened - the earthquake that consequently didn’t wake me up. *yawn*)

So I made the mistake of surfing through Craigslist postings, only to find apartment after apartment that I’m falling in love with – for almost $200 cheaper a month than what I’m paying now. It’s unhealthy for me to continue to look when I’m so far off from my lease ending, but I can’t help it. I want a new place, new roommate, new outlook – already.

I’m used to college living. The longest I’ve ever stayed in one place was 9-months, and most of the time roommates lasted a maximum of 4-months before we annoyed the heck out of each other and someone moved out. It’s normal for the itch to start hitting me now, at the 6-month mark it was already time to buddy up for next years roommate assignments.

But why am I looking if I’m not necessarily “unhappy?” The only real fault to my apartment is the fact that I’m 6-months older and decades wiser and know that I could seriously cut my costs and find something much more manageable. Otherwise my apartment is cute, it’s clean and comfy, and my roommate pays her rent each month. Of course, I’d love to find a roommate whose schedule lines up more with mine (I’m dying for need of some serious college style Gilmore Girls marathons stat) and I’m realizing the value and savings of living in a tight but comfy place.

When I first started this blog, I prided myself on shaking at least one tenet of Twixerdom and settling into my own apartment, lease and all - and had plans to stay.

Hmm, well - Okay, maybe I’m not so rid of the Twixter after all

A Place To Call My Own

2010-03-15T12:05:00.000-07:00

Life changing event!

Well my Twixter friends, Husband and I are so so close to getting OUR
first apartment!!!

You have no idea how exciting it will be for us to have an apartment.
It's just a cute 1 bedroom near where Husband graduated from high
school. And the other huge bonus, is we're subleasing for exactly the
amount of time until we wanted to move to Florida.

And on top of that, it's only $550 a month. (Sorry Twixter One. I
know that's hurtful).

Husband and I have been living with Sister-In-Law for several months
now. We've been staying in the spare bedroom with a futon on the
floor. Not exactly ideal, but it's free and we're poor. So when we
started looking for apartments in our budget range, they were pretty
much all in not the greatest places in the Las Vegas Valley. But it
was a sacrifice we were willing to make.

But then, out of the glorious Craig's List, we found a subleased
apartment for the same price as the ghetto for a really nice
neighborhood. It's so close to my work and a lot closer to any
friends we have in town.

I feel like an adult. This apartment will be the first place that
Husband and I have that's ours. We lived in a rental room at our
university and then when we studied abroad, we lived with rented
furniture and rented dishes. It wasn't OURS. Now this place will
have all our furniture and Giles as well! (After we pay the
exorbitant $500 pet deposit).

As much as I don't want to grow up, I can't wait to have a place to
call my own. Even if it's just for 5 months.

So now all we're waiting for is the weird guy we're subleasing from to
pay the apartment what he owes and fill out some paperwork, and then
it's ours! We move in April 1st.

This is going to be the longest 2.5 weeks of my life.

Giles the Pee-Meister

2010-03-14T21:30:00.000-07:00

So fun fact of the day: Giles is on a peeing spree.

Giles is my cat. Let me tell you about him. Prior to getting
married, I lived for a couple of months with my besties crashing on
their bedroom floor to save money. During that time, while moving my
stuff from the dorms into the garage, I heard a small meow. A kitten
meow. So I searched around. The detached garage faces a cinder block
wall with dumpsters against it. When the dumpsters get moved, they
slam into the brick wall and make holes.

So we found Giles hidden in a hole in the cinder block wall. Meowing
his little head off for someone to help him. Mind you, this all
happened around 11 pm. So after calling in the boys to help get him
out, we ended up spending 2 1/2 hours making the fist size hole an
arm's length hole with a hammer. After that battle, we got him out.
And he was the cutest cat I've ever seen.

Look at that face....

Mind you I just remembered now that he peed on my lap on the car ride
over to walmart to get him a litter box and food. It was a sign....

So we hid Giles in Husband's dorm room for a few months, hid him in
our college apartment, got caught. Then had a lovely lady we found on
Craig's list watch him while we studied abroad. She even got his
shots and neutering free. She was seriously a miracle. After we
moved to Vegas, we had to give him to someone else to watch until
Nephew was healthy enough to have a cat around. All of that time
totaling about 5 months without him. We have been fighting to keep
him from the get go.

Now don't get me wrong, Giles is a love. He will snuggle likie it's
no one's business and even sit on the book you're reading if he wants
some love. But then 10 mins later he will be running in circles
around the room, getting scared by his own tail. He has more
personality than even some people I know. He's such a character.

Well, I almost murdered him last night.

He started to pee on the blanket i was laying under. Literally at my
feet he tried to pee. (Granted his litter box was a little dirty. I
rectified that immediately).

And the jeans I wanted to wear this morning? Peed on. On top of my
leather Rainbow brand flip flop. I didn't have time to clean the this
morning as I was running late, but if that flip flop forever smells
like cat piss....

So now we don't know what to do. Do we keep this cat that obviously
needs some more attention and just get him anohter cat to keep him
company? What if the other cat learns the same bad habits and they
both pee around the apartment? I don't want to loose my $300 pet
deposit because my cat won't use his litter box.

Or do we find him a home? I mean, Giles is a shit, but I love him so
much. He sleeps next to me every night and makes me so happy whenever
I see him. He's our baby.

Except when he pisses on my stuff.

ALAS, what do I do?

Memories

2010-03-13T12:00:00.001-08:00

The other day I stopped by CVS to pick up a couple of photos from one-hour photo. My photo printer stopped working about 4-months ago, and now simply exists as an at-home flight check-in kiosk. and then only when it likes me.

However, I was struck with a very old memory. I remember the days when as a kid, I would go with Mum to Costco. The first thing to the right of the massive garage doors was the photo center. We would rush to the photo stacks and eagerly wait for Mum to turn the gigantic cart down an empty isle and rip open the packaging.

We’d stand on our tip toes as we waited to see which pictures were there. Half of the pictures were blurry, and occasionally Mum would lecture me on why I thought taking a picture of a brick was a good idea. (What can I say, I had a weird photographic eye even at that age.) But we’d ooh and aah over the photos of us as a family, right there in the isle of Costco.

Fast Forward 15-odd years to today. Where my baby sister doesn’t even pause after the shutter goes off, immediately begging “let me see! let me see!” (by the way, The Baby just turned 6!!! Happy Birthday munchkins!) Bad pictures are instantaneously deleted, and there’s plenty of room for pictures of bricks and leaves and my baby sisters dolls.

But the other day at CVS I tossed my photo order into the cart, and walked out of the store without even glancing at them until they went in the mail to my grandmother. She’s 103 and doesn’t own a computer, so we still hand write letters and mail her pictures. (Although, I’m sure if we gave her a chance she’d master the computer and be on facebook in no time. She is super woman after all.)

I’m all about the technological advances we’ve had and love the fact that as I’ve travelled the world my family can travel with me via the world wide web. But there are moments when I miss those days, crowded around a shopping cart - waiting as a family to see what memories were made and captured forever on one incredibly special photograph.

The Coveted Eclipse Trailer

2010-03-12T06:19:00.000-08:00

Now, as aforementioned, I'm a fan girl. I love the Twilight Saga. Thusly, I have been (im)patiently awaiting any sort of footage from the newest film in the series, Eclipse.

It arrived yesterday at 6 am. I tried, like a good employee, to watch it on my phone so I wouldn't get in trouble. I tried 3 times. Thank you MyTouch for claiming the video "could not be played". Bullshivic!

Now, as youtube.com is blocked at my work, I studiously opened hulu.com, which is not blocked and prayed it would be there. Obviously it was. And I watched.

My initial thought was.... "That's it?"

Eclipse is my favorite book in the series. I have very high expectations for this film, especially with David Slade manning the director wheel and the high standards set by New Moon. While I didn't see 30 Days of Night, I trust his vision for horror, fighting, and drama due to his previous experience.

But the trailer was angsty flashes of each character looking tormented. Seriously. Watch it again and you'll see. It jumps from Edward telling Bella about the consequences of her choices, Jacob (who has the best line EVER by the way) of saying he'll fight for Bella until her heart stops beating, the Volturi looking mean, to Bella saying she's found us.....

Angsty.....

Now don't get me wrong. It looks beautiful. From the flashes of the meadow to the emotions on their faces, it's stunning. But this trailer was for the fangirls. It was the love triangle trailer.

Where was the fighting? Where's the fear? I just didn't feel it yet. Or see it for that matter.

I'll wait though. I know the next trailer will be more fleshed out. Some of the fight scenes are probably still being worked on digitally anyway. Notice how little CG was in the trailer. Yup. They're waiting.

Which is fine. I guess...

Sigh.

Officially Californian

2010-03-11T10:30:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make.

Although I’ve been living in LA for the last 11 months, I’ve been sneaking around The Valley still driving on my Nevada plates and wielding my Nevada drivers license.

The state of California gives you exactly 10 days from the point of entry into California to switch your registration and residency. It’s a very clear cut law. However, when you’ve been living in the state for the last 4-years under the guise of out of state college student, pin pointing your date of entry gets a little tricky.

At least thats what I argued as I shlepped my stuff up to LA from Orange County and was far too overwhelmed to get everything switched over. Just let me get settled, find an official residence (rather than couch crashing) and then I would make it “Official.”

Well, it didn’t take too long for me to realize that registering my new-used car in California was going to cost me exceedingly more than to register in Nevada. Damn state taxes. So I made the road trip (twice) out to NV, and once again became an official Nevada resident. from California.

This back and forth has continued on and off for the last couple of months, constantly finding another excuse for why now wasn’t the time to switch. Of the 16 cars in my apartment’s underground garage, over half of them have out of state plates - I was in good company.

Well, with taxes looming towards me I realized it was finally time to make it official when daunted with the task of figuring out which residency to declare on the forms. So off I went: 20 minutes later (AAA for car registration) and 2 hours later (DMV for my drivers license) I am proud to announce - I am Officially a California resident.

Being a California resident comes with it’s down sides. My car is so much more difficult to find now in the parking lot when my Nevada plates don’t stick out like a sore thumb. and, After having a decent looking drivers license picture in Nevada, my California license just screams bad hair day. and of course, there’s those three hated little words: State Income Tax.

But all in all, it’s refreshing to finally have the final check mark placed in my “Moving to California” to do list. I no longer have to glance nervously as a cop car pulls behind me as I pull out of my complex (“no really officer, I’m just here as a college student / visiting my sister / where am I again?”) Bartenders no longer look at me strangely as they inspect my ID with vigor, because a Nevada ID means I must be under age.

So like it or not, Mum & Dad, looks like I’m in California to stay - at least for a little while. I think I’ll like it here. Although, I will say, it is disappointing that I can no longer get away with swerving down streets like an idiot, only to pass it off as “Whatever, they probably just think I’m a tourist.”

Part Time vs Full Time

2010-03-10T18:12:00.000-08:00

Ah the glorious full time job.

Now many covet this position, especially in this economy. I consider myself to be one of the lucky few who have a full time job right now. Even Husband only has 1.5 part time jobs. (The .5 is an on call position that he's not fully hired into yet. Long story). But needless to say, I'm fully employed 40 hours a week plus benefits.

Now you'd think this $12 an hour 40 hour a week job would allow me to pay off all my bills in a snap right? WRONG!

I just keep finding myself stuck in a rut paying off my stupidity in college. I think it should be illegal to have a credit card in college. Ok, I guess I don't. I survived my unemployed times (thus putting myself in my current situation) with credit cards. It was so exciting, opening it up, getting cool designs, acting like it was free money, TOTALLY planning on paying it off right away.

Riiiiiiiight.

I didn't. I paid minimum and more minimum constantly. Everytime I would get some extra income, "something would come up" that I had to pay for instead. Probably the Chipotle Tuesdays or something. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. Oh I see clearly now. Crystal.

Now Husband and I are budgeting out 700 every paycheck, again I say, every paycheck so we can move to Florida in 5 months. It seems unreasonable, but working full time actually allows this. (Having 2 incomes really helps as well). Which is the WEIRDEST feeling. I was used to making $350 every two weeks. Now my paychecks are over $800. I have never known what making over $1000 a month feels like. It's pret-ty nice.

So now, that I can see the amazing power of budgeting, it makes me want all of my past debt gone this instant. I want to move to Florida completely debt free. This is really not possible. There are pertinent costs that keep popping up: oil change for my car, registration for my car, medicine here, work uniforms there, that just keep adding up.

I know that it takes patience and dedication to pay off debt.

I'm just really freaking impatient.

I'm baaack

2010-03-09T16:44:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the break everyone, but I’m back and up and running – though a little worse for the wear.

The last week and a half I’ve been in Nashville, TN on a business trip – the very first of it’s kind. I actually had a whole stack of entries prepped and ready to fill in the time that I wouldn’t be writing, and then I was hit with a massive cold. February was the month of sickness as I’ve been in and out of bed with one malady after another. However, the worst of it hit the day before I left for my trip, which left me barely hanging on for life as I teetered around the convention center in heels with tissues and cough drops poking out of every crevice that could hold them.

Luckily I’m back in sunny California, though the cough and nasty fever blisters still manage to hold on. Though, not enough to keep me from writing like I’m supposed to – I promise.

So, I planned on returning from my business trip with a kick ass blog all about business trips. But I’m coming up dry.

The truth is, for the large part, it was boring. Almost too boring to blog about.

However, I did learn one very important thing on this trip:

I HATE business trips. I spent 5-days straight stuck inside a convention hall, and I only ever breathed fresh air once. Business hours weren’t 9-5, but whenever and wherever people could find us. And they found us - back to back meetings from dawn to dusk.

The Boss goes on a business trip once if not twice a week – he’s always traveling and for a while I envied him as he was boarding planes and I was stuck behind my metal desk in LA. But by the time I returned from my trip I was so worn out, so exhausted, and SO tired of dealing with clients I didn’t want to work for another two weeks. To pick up and repeat with another trip week after week would be a terror.

I wish I had more exciting tales to tell you from the road but the trip was an endless succession of meetings until I finally collapsed on my cousin’s couch in Nolensville ready for a couple of days of R&R with my family. That was the main perk of my Southern business trip – a chance to catch up with family that I haven’t seen in a couple of years. 4 days of sleeping in, watching movies, and lounging around my aunts beautiful home in Franklin, and nights of good food and company with the family.

While the tail end of the trip did give me a nice dose of family, I have to say, it’s nice to be back home in LA.

Hm. So Much For Updates

2010-02-25T20:19:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not updating. I've been slowly getting sick due to diving back into the 40 hour work week.

My graduation from a month of training at my call center job is tomorrow and I'm very excited but nervous out of my mind.

It's such a comforting feeling to be in training. There's always someone around to answer your question, if you make a mistake, it's ok! You're in training! But starting on Monday, I'm pretty much on my own to figure out my own questions. I'll be dealing with irate customers without much backup.

Needless to say, I'm terrified.

More updates to come. It's ridiculous, but I'm actually going to bed. Its 8:22 pm. I am just so damn tired.

Sigh.

I miss college.

The Intern (Part Two)

2010-02-19T13:42:00.000-08:00

So, I found my blog entry about interns to be longer than I’m sure you, poor reader, felt like reading. (need a refresher? Part One) Hence, The Intern - Part Two ... wait, I have an intern?

It feels out of sorts for me to have an intern as the 22-year-old assistant / coordinator. Long before I started here as the assistant, I was Mrs. Boss’ intern. Psycho intern who worked 60 hour weeks preparing for a national conference that went off without a hitch! But now, a year later, I have interns of my own.

It’s weird since our interns are only a year or two younger than me - if not the same age. Yet somehow, I’m supposed to know more than them, to teach them. It started to make me question - do I really need interns?

Then, I looked at the stack of inventory I have to do, or the 44 hours of transcribing that has been on my desk for months, and I remember what interns are for. While I’d like to be the place that has the “totally awesome internship” and while I’d like to stay true to the words I uttered as an intern, “when I’m in charge I’ll never make my intern ...” that isn’t what interns are for.

Interns make copies. They get coffee. They run errands and they file. I know so many interns are probably wondering “Why can’t I do something MEANINGFUL? Something that will be worthwhile and make a difference for this company?”

I realize that the copies and coffee don’t seem worthwhile. But what those copies & coffees allow is. When my intern is running to pick up lunch for the office, I’m on a conference call with our designers before they fly out to meet with a client tomorrow. While my intern is plugging material into the inventory, I’m running the agenda for tomorrows meeting in office.

So yes, what the interns are doing may seem tedious and pointless. But by taking the tedious and pointless away from people who have “worthwhile” things to do - their work is worthwhile after all.

Of course, after I read this entry I sit back and laugh. I think I just explained my job a little bit as well.

Breaking Dawn + 2 Films = FAIL

2010-02-19T07:45:00.000-08:00

I would consider myself a fangirl. Twilighter. Whatever you want to call it.

Urban Dictionary defines fangirl as “a rabid breed of human female who is obsessed with either a fictional character or an actor. Have been known to glomp, grope, and tackle when encountering said obsessions.”

Ok, so I guess I don’t follow Urban Dictionary’s definition. It is a bit much for me. I wouldn’t consider myself “rabid” nor have I ever groped or tackled anyone for that matter.

I would consider myself a quiet, NOT creepy fangirl. I don’t own posters of the books and films, nor have I bought any fan memorabilia. (It has been bought FOR me, but I don’t count that haha).

With that said, I’m an official Twilighter. I love the Twilight series. A lot. I’m so excited for Eclipse to come out this summer. But recently, it’s been revealed that the final book in the series, Breaking Dawn, is going to be 2 films.

Ok. Let’s be real. Breaking Dawn is the same length as all the other books. I have no idea why it needs to be two films for story purposes. I get it though, Summit wants to make 2 sets of millions of dollars on films they know people like me will see. Obviously. I’m just nervous as crap out it.

Breaking Dawn is a weird book. It’s actually my least favorite in the series. I understand why Stephenie Meyer wrote it that way. It was a big series with lots of questions that needed to be answered happily. I won’t go into in case you’re one of the 5 people in the world who hasn’t read the series.

I just get annoyed at the film industry for stretching out a pretty bare plot line filled mostly with waiting to make more money that they already are receiving. Thus proving even more why I shouldn’t produce film. I have no idea why I thought I could work in that world.

So needless to say, I'm still excited to see the film(s) on screen, but I'm nervous as hell to see it split into two films. Don't even get me started on the 3D rumors.

Ugh.

The Intern (Part One)

2010-02-18T18:37:00.000-08:00

It’s February and the spring semester is upon us! There was one point where that meant I was already knee deep in Honors reading that I had ignored over interterm but this year it means something completely new:

The interns are here!

Our office has been without an intern for a semester, but with my promotion a couple months ago we’ve been in dire need of one since early November. However, I had absolutely no clue where to start when hiring an intern - a strange feeling, being that I myself have been an intern dozens of times before!

Suddenly, I found myself on the other side of the table asking myself serious questions like “What kind of qualities do you need in an intern?” and “How do you politely ask ‘Hey - can you go on another Starbucks run?’ ”

Posting on facebook brought a lot of well meaning but essentially helpless advice. “Someone hard working” “Willing to do anything” “Someone dedicated.” Like I said - all great suggestions. But lets face it - every resume and cover letter looks alike. Everyone wants you to know that they are “hardworking, dedicated and intelligent.” Everyone wants to impress you with the laundry list of student films they worked on.

Like I said - Everyone is the same.

But ultimately, personality is what I want. You’re an intern - I’m not planning on handing you any monumental tasks that will require the height of your film school knowledge. I’m going to ask you to file. So as long as you can promise me that you’ll show up on time and not complain, I get the whole hard working picture - now tell me something else. If I’m going to be sitting across the office from you 16-hours a week, I want to know you have something interesting to offer.

So, in the hopes of saving numerous assistants from enduring the same resume monotony that I went through, here’s my list of things to do (and not to do) on your Internship Resume:

Tell me what makes you unique! Did you just self - finance your own short film? Or are you fresh off finishing the LA marathon? Maybe you just got back from feeding orphans in Africa? Tell me something that makes you different from the rest - and what you’ve learned from it to bring to our team. It shows you have personality and gives me something to remember you by - 10 resumes later I’ll probably still remember the marathon guy vs. the guy with that one GPA.
Tell me what you know about my company I specifically work in a company focusing in a very niche market - not just anyone can do what we do, so I hired my interns with those questions in mind. But it works the same with any company - tell them that you’d like to intern with the company that produced movies XY and Z or managed star AB and C. It shows we’re not just another name on the list.
Tell me what you want to do at my company You’re an intern. No matter what you’re going to make coffee and copies. However when the occasion arises, some interns get to do some pretty cool stuff. But if you’re an editor who suddenly ends up doing research for The Boss’ new screenplay, it doesn’t seem as cool. Even if you probably won’t get to edit our next brilliant commercial, it never hurts to say “I’m a pro at coffee and copies - but what I really like to do is cut!”
Ditch the “I ams” I get it. All the soon to be college grads want their employers to know that their dedicated and smart and bla bla bla. Let me repeat: ALL. Those words start to become pretty pointless when they’re on every resume you see. Tell me the WHYs or HOWs behind those adjectives (see tip #1) or else skip the “I ams” completely

Give me your contact info! I realize these are the days of emailed resumes. Thank You technology! However, don’t forget to leave your contact info on both your resume and your cover letter. Yes, I realize you emailed me from your email address - so I should already have it. But chances are, I’m printing out your cover letter & resume and then dropping the email into some deep dark folder with only the hope of “search” to bring it back to life. So give me your contact info up front - and you’re already making life much easier for me.

Flaws of Baking, Even If It's So Damn Cute

2010-02-16T12:56:00.000-08:00

I recently went on a blog hunt. I started with cooking blogs, then found baking blogs and seriously fell in love. My favorite one out of all of them is Bakerella.com.

It’s freaking adorable. Even the name reminds me of Cinderella and being a little girl, playing with my Easy Bake Oven. Most of the recipes include easy ingredients such as boxed cake mixes and regular candy for use. It’s awesome.

For the Valentine’s Day party at work, I attempted to make the Cake Balls that are just adorable. I wanted to make Cake Pops, but at 10:30 pm, my local grocery store just didn’t have candy sticks. Just freaking skewer sticks. Which are ugly and not helpful. But I digress.

Bakerella: Red Velvet Cake Balls

The example is of red velvet cake with chocolate coating. I instead just used chocolate cake. With white chocolate coating. To make them, you bake a cake then let it cool. You crumble it, mix in cream cheese frosting, then roll into balls. Cool in either refrigerator for a few hours or freezer for a faster cool. Then dip in melted chocolate and let cool in fridge. Sounds simple. WRONG.
I was hoping they would turn out just like that. But of course, mine were not that cute. They weren’t even, nor did I take the time to do the designs after the fact.

Problem 1 – I didn’t wait for the cake balls to freeze before dipping them in the chocolate. So it was a hug pain in the ass to dip them in the chocolate.

Problem 2 – I didn’t buy melting candy or whatever it’s called. I bought melting chocolate. For dipping strawberries or fruit. It’s was annoying. And uncooperative with the cake.

Problem 3 – I started making them at 10 pm. I worked at 8 am and carpooled with my mom who started at 7 am. So I was in a rush. (Never a good trait for baking)

Problem 4 – I have never made these before.

Problem 5 – I ran out of white chocolate so had to try using melted white frosting. It didn't work as well. I might have microwaved it a little too long.

Problem 6 - I didn't use any sort of measure tool to make the cake balls, so they were all different sizes and shapes. Whatev.

Problem 7 – I’m a perfectionist. Major FAIL.

So needless to say, they were definitely not perfect. But they tasted freaking delish. While they didn't look pretty out the outside, they were so yummy, I had 3 before I went to bed.

I’m excited to try them again. But with strawberry cake. And white candy coat. Yum.

I’ll post pictures next time.

The Last Airbender: A Twixter's Dream

2010-02-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

Recently, the full trailer for Last Airbender released.

The Last Airbender is a Nickelodeon cartoon spanning 3 epic seasons that follows the journey of Aang, a young successor to a long line of Avatar must set aside his desire for an innocent childhood to stop the Fire Nation from enslaving the Water, Earth and Air nations. Hm…a character running away from his responsibilities to have fun and be a kid. Sounds like a Twixter to me….

When I saw the trailer released, I freaked out. I was at work, thankfully on a break, and watched the trailer. My trainer was laughing at me, because I was literally freaking out. I had my hand covering my mouth, mildly hyperventilating. I may have clapped at some point. It was bad.

But seriously. Sweet. Mercy. It looks incredible. I watched the cartoon series (Avatar: The Last Airbender) and watching the trailer was like seeing the cartoon come to life. There were even scenes straight from the cartoon translated to film. It looks gorgeous. I can’t wait.

This is one of my many Twixter traits. I love kid movies. To this day Cinderella is still one of my favorites. I’d watch it any time, any day. So now that this epic cartoon is being made into a movie, it’s my Twixter dream coming true.

But back to Last Airbender. My favorite nation in the series is the Earth Nation which has Earth Benders. (To clarify, not everyone has power of the elements, only “benders” can; everyone else is just a citizen of the nation itself). Each Bending nation utilizes a different form of martial arts fighting. Fire Benders are very forward, concentrating on offense. Water Benders are smooth and quick, utilizing their speed for evasiveness and attack. Air Benders are very defensive, moving fast and not really attacking.

But Earth Benders. Ah, they’re the best. Their fighting is about core. It’s in your stance. You’re strong and firm, like the earth itself, unmoving to the elements. You’re positioned at the ready, for either attack or defense. Their movements are strong and sure. I like them the best because I evny the power and sureness. I’m more of an avoider. An Air Bender, if you will. Seeing that power and confidence is something I strive for.

I think I just said I wanted to be an Earth Bender.

I am a freaking nerd.

Sick Day

2010-02-15T12:55:00.000-08:00

Today I’m out of work on a sick day.

Back when I was fresh out of college, a sick day sounded like a wonderful idea. Getting paid to stay at home and be sick - AWESOME! Of course, those were the days where I operated off of the thought that if I woke up with the teeniest of headaches (regardless of last nights activities) it was totally worth it to ditch classes.

Of course, in the real world staying home sick from work doesn’t work that way. I’ll go to work coughing and sneezing and ugggghing in order not to take a sick day. Because one day sick equals about 3 days worth of catch up, and most of the time it just isn’t worth it. Of course, most of my office tends to have this same “work through the pain” mentality, which means for a couple months at the end of last year our office was an feasting ground for whatever the hip disease at the moment was.

However today there was just no way I was crawling out of bed before noon. It’s 1:00 and I’m just now stumbling out of my PJs - right into another pair.

All this to say, sorry about the shortage of posts over the last week / weekend. I promise more to come as soon as I Ahh Ahh AhhhhhCHEW! Well, you get the idea.

PAY DAY!

2010-02-12T07:33:00.000-08:00

I'm sure this will happen a lot because I tend to get forgetful when a big change happens in my life. Bear with me this morning as I'm drinking my coffee as we speak and still trying to process how to spell. (Thank the lord for spell check). I'm an hour and a half early since I carpooled with Mom. But at least I didn't have to pay for the gas.

Today is PAY DAY. I'm so excited to receive my first check in 6 months. It feels strange to be living on paychecks again instead of installments of money at random times. Husband and I created an intense budget based on our wages. It's very strange to plan out my money so specifically. I've always tried, but never really succeeded in keeping with it. Partially because I never really understood how expensive "unexpected" expenses were. (That's a tonge twister. Expensive unexpected expenses. ha) We're saving for something pretty huge. (Blog on that to come probably Monday.)

But needless to say, working 40 hours a week will finally start to feel like it's paying off. I have to constantly remind myself that this job is worth it. It's a stepping stone. I won't be doing this for the rest of my life. Thank God.

It's hard to imagine people who stay in jobs they hate. I know how important money is to survival, but I would rather be slightly poorer but happier in a job I enjoy versus a job that pays well. Don't get me wrong, I understand the concept of working a very well paid job that you don't like so you can enjoy your time off. You can have a great house, nicer clothes, better vacations, etc. But that little happiness you look foreward to versus a general happiness all the time just doesn't seem worth it to me.

I might feel differently when I have kids though. We shall see.

You Better Shape Up ...

2010-02-09T14:39:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite profs in college once told me that it would take 10-years in the work force before I REALLY began to use the skills I learned in college.

So I couldn't help but laugh when I Stumbled upon this on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal the other day:

Playing the Tourist

2010-02-07T15:10:00.000-08:00

This weekend The Boy and I headed up to Mt. Baldy to spend a much needed afternoon playing in the snow. Since I’m a horrible skier we just embraced our 5-year-old tendencies - we made snow men and went sledding. Just two weekends before, The Boy and I were in Santa Monica all of Saturday - feeling the sea breeze on our faces and digging our toes into the sand.

You have to love Southern California. You can spend one weekend sprawled on the beach in T-Shirts and 70 degree weather, and the next weekend bundled up in gloves and beanies throwing snow balls.

There are endless possibilities to do and see in Los Angeles, and somehow I missed the mark. I went to school just an hour South of here, yet I never really ventured into the city. Every so often I’d randomly find myself venturing down a street in LA with little clue where I was at, but I was so lost I’d never try to return to it.

When I moved up here permanently, I told myself I was going to take advantage of my newfound freedom. No more homework and no more papers, my “off” time would become my time, and I planned to take advantage of it. Little did I know that when I finally was “off” I’d be too exhausted to think about going out and exploring the city. Weekends were strictly for laundry and grocery shopping.

When January rolled around I realized I’d spent 6-months living in a city that I hardly knew anything about. So one of three resolutions were birthed: I was going to become a tourist.

The plan is to do one thing every week as a tourist. I live a 10-minute drive away from the Hollywood sign, but until January 9th I had never actually taken the classic tourist shot in front of it. Now I have.

Of course, I have an advantage to acting like a tourist - I’m a local. Any guide book will tell you that you can see the Hollywood sign from the Griffith Observatory. But only locals know that if you drive up Lake Hollywood you’re eventually standing right under it. (Noted: You do have to ignore the sign at Lake Hollywood & Barham - “No Access to Hollywood Sign.” - Ha! Whatever).

I think I’m grateful that I waited ‘til I felt more like a local to be a tourist - as long as I can get over being ridiculed by other locals for my cheesy facebook pics. And once the tourist stuff starts to get old (I’m already over visiting Hollywood Blvd - right now it’s just annoying that it’s the Fresh n Easy closest to me) I have another trick up my sleeve.

When I lived in London I fell in love with The City Walk cards, and for my last birthday The Boy got me City Walk: Los Angeles . There’s 50 cards that take you through walks all across the city - stopping you at sometimes unnoticeable but always interesting landmarks. It’s a nice transition from tourist to local - even for those of us that are just a little bit of both.

The 10-Year-Plan

2010-02-05T11:34:00.000-08:00

I had a new ream of business cards printed about a month ago, but today was the first day I broke the seal and passed along my newly minted card - with my not so newly minted title.

Almost three-months ago now, I got a promotion at work. It’s was kinda a shock to me, being that I had only been at the company for six-months, but I loved the new responsibilities and change of pace.

Only, it came with a catch.

The Boss has had a bit of a history with assistants lately, managing to go through quite a number in the last couple years. When I first started the job I was told by more than one of The Boss’ friends and colleagues that my best title was “The Boss’ CURRENT Assistant.” Yea, that’s a good way to scare the new girl.

Luckily, The Boss and I hit it off great and not only did he keep me around - he promoted me! But in fact, he wanted to do both. My title switched to Client Coordinator - I now handle all the communication between our clients and the company, as well as (!) Coordinating all the shoots we do out in LA. But my pay remained the same, and my job responsibilities didn’t change - they doubled.

So now, I’m juggling both the assistant job and the coordinator gig, for the one low price of an assistant. The money woes are frustrating (that’s another blog entirely) but I’m ecstatic to add Coordinator to my title - it’s one GIANT step closer to where I want to be long-term. (Which actually IS as a Coordinator - only in a much larger role.)

Of course, the assistant gig continues. I’m still on hold with Hertz and managing The Boss’ appointments, and there are days where 5:30 hits and I still have a stack a mile high teetering on my desk. There’s points where it gets overwhelming, but I love my new title.

Originally, I had very short-term goals for this job. I figured I’d hold the assistant job for a year or two and then try for bigger and better things. But now the slightly bigger and slightly better things have found me, which again throws a huge spin on Twixter One’s set-in-stone life plan. Suddenly, I find myself working in a place I never thought I’d want to work (small office in a very niche market) but working on the first step towards my dream job - a step that should have taken at least a couple years post-grad to reach.

Throughout high school and college, my profs emphasized the need to have a “life plan.” The 5-year-plan / 10-year-plan assignment came up on more than one semester. Now, when I’m only 1-year out in that 10-year plan, nothing has gone the way I planned. It’s not better - not worse - but different entirely. My dreams change every year, my goals change every year, and my circumstances change by the month.

So what was the point of my 10-year-plan again?

Happy Groundhogs Day

2010-02-02T16:53:00.000-08:00

25-years ago today, my Dad asked my Mom to marry him. They’ve never been big anniversary people, but Groundhogs Day has always been a huge holiday in my family for as long as can I remember. And my mom has 25 plush groundhogs to prove it!

Mom & Dad planned their wedding in 4-months, and were married the same week as my grandparents – who will celebrate 50 years this June!

I’ve been so fortunate to have not one but two strong, committed relationships as role models in my life, and the next couple of months will be all aflutter as we get ready for a family reunion and to celebrate such major anniversaries.

When I think of spending 25-years with the same person, my mind can’t begin to comprehend it. Heck, My mind isn’t even that old!!!

How is someone supposed to be mature enough at 22 or 23 years of age to make a decision that will affect them for double their current life span? When I spent half of my life completely devoted to butterfly clips and glitter – can I REALLY be trusted with that big of a decision?

When it comes down to it, I think commitment is the ultimate Twixter problem. We don’t want to commit to a job. We don’t want to commit to an apartment. We DEFINITELY don’t want to commit to just one person. Yet, we’re in the stage of life where everyone is telling us to commit! commit! commit! All the while, we’re yelling back why? why? why?

On anniversaries like today, I’m reminded of an endless list of answers to why?

Why? because my Dad took my Mom to San Francisco this weekend, and then sat inside the Britex fabric store with her for HOURS, just because she asked.

Why? because my Mom will drive 23-hours with an infant, just so my dad can take our boat to the Lake House in the Ozarks.

Why? because even if dinner’s not made, or the house is not clean, or someone gets home way too late my Mom and Dad crawl into the same bed every night, and get up together again every morning.

Why? because 25-years ago, my Dad asked and my Mom said yes. And maybe it’s time for the Twixters to learn from other’s experience.

Happy Engagement-a-versary Mum & Daddy!

Culinary Dreams

2010-02-01T13:41:00.000-08:00

A few years back, I got this crazy idea in my head that I wanted to drop out of college and go to Culinary School. I even went to visit 3 different culinary schools in my area of southern California. I was smitten. I wanted to wear a chef coat and create amazing scallops on a big plate with green and orange garnish sauce underneath and vegetables stacked perfectly on top.

I've always loved baking and cooking my entire life. It's my sort of zen. If I'm stressed, I usually bake or cook something. I even had the measurements of 1/8 of a batch of chocolate chip cookies memorized. It makes about 4 cookies. I started to put 2 and 2 together, realized I could potentially cook for a living. Would that be so bad? I ultimately decided finishing my undergrad would be a smart back up plan. (This was before I decided to change my major. Idiot).

So I've started researching culinary school again this past week, with 1 semester left of my undergrad. I just found out that the Cordon Bleu in Vegas costs $40,000 for the culinary and $25,000 for baking. W.T.F.?

My private school for 5 years of education will not cost me as much as the Cordon Bleu program.

Now I've chatted with several people that now tell me you don't HAVE to attend the CB and many other schools are regarded just as highly and are significantly less expensive.

But then I researched what life is like for an aspiring chef. It's long, strange hours for the next 10-15 years of my life. Strange hours meaning, 4 pm to 2 am including holidays. Is this the type of life I want? Not really. I want kids. I want to be able to come home and hang out with my husband. I want to be able to go out with friends.

I've heard that culinary is like the film/television industry, in the fact that if you can picture yourself doing something else, you should do the something else. I've magically found myself interested in 2 very niche passion industries.

Can I picture myself working 12 hour days in a kitchen? Yes.
Can I picture myself working on a set for 14 hour days? Yes.
Can I picture myself doing something else? Yes.

Well, damn it. Now what?

Being a Big Girl. And Going To Work.

2010-01-30T11:53:00.000-08:00

Well, this will be my last weekend as an unemployed citizen. It's a bitter sweet feeling. As much as I've enjoyed sitting around the house doing nothing all the time, the empty wallet is not a feeling I've grown to like.

As I mentioned before, this job that starts Monday is the one job I didn't want. It's a "responsible adult" job that just does not sound fun in the slightest. I'll be working in the retention department of a call center for an internet provider. Not exactly what I would call a party, but the job is full time and pays better than any job I've ever had. It's going to be so amazing feeling to open my paycheck and see it's over $400. With only having part time jobs prior to this, it will be very weird to work for 40 hours a week. One other cool perk is I get free wireless internet installed where I live. Not to shabby.

I'm working on being very honest about my emotions in this blog, so bear with me. (Twixter One can attest, I don't often talk about my emotions. Just how I grew up I guess.)

I'm really freaking scared of this job. I'm terrified of not wanting to wake up each day because I hate 40 hours out of my 168 I get each week. That's 24% of my week. And say I sleep 8 hours a night. That leaves 52% of my week untouched. That's not a lot. It sounds like it is. But it isn't. What if the money isn't enough? I just really want to pay my bills off and have a bit of a savings. Sorry for the math lesson. Just a small peek into how my nerdy mind works.

But there's something else... What I'm really scared of is actually liking it. What if I really like this job and don't want to leave? I'm a goal oriented person. I like promotion and training and teaching. What if this place gives me the opportunity? Vegas was supposed to be extremely temporary. Move here, save some money and get the hell out. The longer I stay here, the harder it will be to leave. But I also don't want to leave too early. I don't want to be some place else with no job and no one to help us like we luckily have out here.

But then when is the right time to leave? I feel like I'm on the edge of a fence on a hot day. On one side, there's an awesome tree with shade. On the other side is a small lake. Both are helpful and can keep you cool. But which one do you choose? They're so different in their pros and cons. So I just stand on the fence sweating my ass off doing nothing.

(sigh)

Post Grad

2010-01-29T20:04:00.000-08:00

I just finished Post Grad, the new film starting Alexis Bledel of Gilmore Girls fame. Usually I wouldn’t admit to the fact that I actually enjoyed that film, but I’m in a new stage of life where I’m willing to own up to the fact that I thoroughly enjoy cheesy girly chick flicks; they’re my favorites. Plus, how could I not love the poster after my last blog:

Okay, that subject is neither here nor there, so anyways.

Post Grad is not necessarily a unique chick flick. It’s the typical boy loves girl, girl is oblivious until it’s too late - or is it? I won’t ruin the ending for you, but come on - it’s predictable. Nevertheless, the film SCREAMS Twixter generation. Rydel (how cute is that name?) graduates from college and is stuck living at home with her parents - no job, no car, no idea what to do. Of course, unlike some in our generation she HAS tried to move out of her High School bedroom - only to be denied by our current crappy economy.

If someone ever made a film about my life so far, this would be it. It’s like the plot line was stolen directly from the last year of my life - right down to the horrific car accident the same week as graduation!

In high school I had a plan all laid out - a golden brick road of sorts, except for this one was paved with straight A’s. But somewhere along the way, reality set in. I was lucky enough to avoid the embarrassing move back to my parents house, but I was astonished after the first few resumes submitted that I hadn’t gotten a job yet. What we’re these people thinking - I was a college graduate! Magna Cum Laude at that!

Eventually the little stumbles in life brought me to the job I have today, but the six months I spent wandering taught me a lot. Finding a job - starting your career - is a two-way game. No one is going to hand it to you - you have to be smart, work hard, and persevere. And yet, all the hard work in the world isn’t going to get you anywhere unless someone else tells you yes. You need that golden opportunity.

Of course, the other half of the film is the love story. Rydel works so hard that she misses the love of her life that is right in front of her. If anything, this subject has consumed my thoughts lately. I’m independent, a feminist, a girl who has dreams for her career a mile high - and at this time in my life all I want to do is find the ladder and start climbing. Yet, so many women who are older and wiser than me have cautioned me that without someone by my side, the top of that ladder is lonely and disappointing.

Im lucky enough that The Boy isn’t threatening to run off to New York, and the hour drive between us can be conquered. But with both of us climbing up our own ladders, sometimes things get shaky. It’s hard when neither are on solid ground. That’s the part the chick flick always manages to leave out - what happens after the boy gets the girl, and they’re left to figure out how?

So what about you? Are you pushing your way through, climbing the ladder to the top? or still waiting on that golden opportunity? or maybe you’ve been swept away, by the guy or gal of your dreams like Twixter Two, and figuring it all out together?

Let us know in the comments below!

A Pair of Big Girl Heels

2010-01-29T10:41:00.000-08:00

My wardrobe in college consisted purely of jeans, v-neck T-Shirts, a baggy university sweatshirt and converses. I was lucky enough to live a 5-minute walk from campus, which meant my morning routine consisted of tossing my hair in a ponytail and running out the door with a cup of tea in hand.

I’ve never been the dress up kind of girl. While a small part inside of me loves dressing up fancy, finding that perfect little black dress or curling my hair just right, a bigger part of me loves sleep. I can’t imagine spending an hour on my hair in the morning when I could be using that hour for something much better. Like sleep.

I was frightened about entering the work world and having to slip on heels every morning before I headed to the office. My first day at my new job I agonized over my wardrobe and finally decided on a black collared shirt, grey dress pants, and a brand new pair of Two-Inch “Big Girl” heels.

Can I repeat? TWO-INCH HEELS!

I’m pretty sure those heels have only been worn once since then. I walked into the office on my first day and met my coworkers – who were all wearing flip-flops and jeans. I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief and the next day switched out my heels for a much more comfortable pair of flats.

There are moments when I cherish my companies casual dress policy. (Like today, Friday, when the boss is gone and all I wanted to do was stay in bed in my PJs). Yet, sometimes I wish there was a little bit more push to dress up for work each day. Because if I know it’s fine for me to come into work in converses and a v-neck, I will. There’s no motivation to dress otherwise.

So, I loved Work Chic’s blog about how to have Profession Style in a Casual Office.

A lot of the suggestions on both the site and the blog are a little expensive for a post-collegiate like me, but my favorite go-to substitution (Target) has a lot of options that could work. For someone whose idea of “changing things up” is to wear a zip-up instead of a hoodie, I liked the suggestion of finding “trouser style denim” and using accessories to brighten things up. Maybe it’s time I get out of the college slump and (gasp) freecycle some of those old T’s and jeans and go on a bit of a shopping spree.

Of course, what I liked the most about the article is that neither outfit mentioned any kind of killer heels. Even if I’m tiptoeing into the world of professional dress, I’ll can still tiptoe in a pair of comfy flats.

Lack of Job Interview Hospitality

2010-01-28T00:15:00.000-08:00

Today I went to an interview at a very nice hotel on the Las Vegas Strip. It was pouring rain today in Vegas. And I actually do mean freezing rain, not that "sprinkling" business. But I wore a rocking turquoise suit jacket anyway to prove the rain doesn't get me down. And the fact is, my jacket is awesome.

The 15 person took place in one of the executive suites. It was gorgeous.

I have to tell you, in high school. I was a brown-noser, kiss-ass, suck up, whatever term you use. That was me. I have since grown from my days of attempting to make every superior I meet love me by what I say about them or the company they work for. I have found honesty works better.

Well that was the wrong strategy today. We had a 30 minute question process where you had to state your name and why you wanted to work for the company. I almost scoffed out loud at the answer of a guy my age in a full (ill fitted) business suit. We shall call him Suit-Boy from now on. Suit-Boy may as well have gotten down and bowed to the interviewer as he read some invisible cue cards advertising the hotel. I couldn't believe it. His "random question" which is supposed to explain your personality was, "What would you do if you could live a life without fear?" Suit-Boy of course answered well.

When it was my turn, I answered honestly. I didn't have front desk experience and I have ALWAYS wanted to work front desk. But alas, exactly like the freaking food industry, no one will hire you unless you have experience. How am I supposed to get experience when no will give me the chance? (Off my soap box)

Then my "Random Question" was "If you could play any instrument, what would it be and why?"

My immediate thought was Are you freaking serious? THIS is my question? The guy next to me just got asked about what super power he'd want and why. WHAT INSTRUMENT? UGH!

I answered well. Piano. Some BS. Whatever. Annoyed.

After it was done, the interviewers deliberated and we all waited outside. Guess who I got to chatting with? Suit-Boy. Find out we went to the same high school together. Both in honors. Graduated the same year. He had no idea who I was. (Luckily I didn't remember him either so I didn't feel like THAT much of a loser). His major? Hotel Hospitality and Management. I had no chance.

I was right. He got called in. As well as "If someone gave me 2,000 to spend on myself I'd donate every penny" woman. Whatev.

Maybe I'm not meant for the hospitality industry after all.

I Miss My Friends

2010-01-25T18:22:00.000-08:00

I had the idyllic college experience.

My life felt like it belonged in one of the college glossies: late night coffee runs with my roommates, study abroad’s to foreign destinations, hours holed up in the film production center - it was a full 4 years of fun and friends who soon became my family.

My friends were my life. I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner with them; we ran errands and bought groceries together. We laughed and made spontaneous runs to Diddy Rieses, and screamed and cried when finals season came around. They became family, even in a way that my family couldn’t (largely because I CHOSE to love this side.) While the classes I took were enriching and the college life exciting, what really made my college experience were the people that became my lifelong friends.

Then I graduated from college.

I moved an hour away, but assumed the F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode would continue. There would be drinks after work, and crashing at each others houses. There’d be parties and road trips - it’d be like college except with more alcohol and less homework.

However, there are no glossies for real life. No one gives you a brochure when you graduate from college, advertising all the wonderful experiences ahead of you. As a TV junkie, I expected to walk right into a F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode , but I hate to tell you - Hollywood lied.

Most nights I come home, make some kind of a mish-mash of dinner alone and watch TV before I go to bed. I’ll call my friends to try and make plans, but they always fall through. Someone had to work late, or needs the weekend to sleep. or it’s raining and the drive is just too far.

On a rare night I’ll have a 3-hour date with The Best - on the phone, eating our dinners 300 miles apart. The Best moved to Northern California at the end of summer, yet I feel like I’ve seen her more often than anyone who stayed down South.

We’ve talked a lot about the best friend problem - both of us displaced from the comfortable home of our college town. We’re grasping tightly to the best friends of our college years, repeating the mantra that we are friends for life. But how do those friendships continue when you’re 5 1/2 hours apart?

It’s time to start making new friends in my new post-college life. I’m lucky to have awesome co-workers that have frequented happy hour with me on more than one occasion. And I’ve joined in with them and their friends as well. But, being me, I’m shy and always worried that I’ll seem like the tag-along.

So what do you think?

What’s the best way to make new friends in a new town? Do F.R.I.E.N.D.S. episode friendships really exist? Is it silly to believe college-type friendships (and midnight coffee runs) can continue into adult life?

Oh Baby...

2010-01-22T18:54:00.000-08:00

I feel like babies are all around me. Sister-in-Law has her little munchkin that is growing so much. Nephew is now 5 months but looks like he's 3 months since he was born 2 months premature. He's starting to get little fat rolls and a double chin. It's wonderful.

On that note, I was pursuing facebook, or picture stalking as those who are brave enough to admit it call it, where I discovered one of my first friends from junior high had twins recently. TWINS. I remember the beginning of our friendship, watching her branch off to find more friends since she was much cuter and less socially awkward than my group of friends (which was 2 of us mind you). I watched her remain so nice all through junior high and high school even with popularity and public school life. Now seeing pictures of her looking...well...like a mom with her 2 daughters is overwhelming.

Now that I'm married, the possibility of children is looming. It's a terrifying prospect. I do want kids. Several in fact. But I feel so conflicted about it. I have found myself worrying about what IF. What if I did get pregnant now? Obviously having no real steady income yet is a problem. As well as no property to call my own. But that's not what I think about it. When I think about it, I end up feeling...guilty.

Now, Twixter Two. Why would you feel guilty about having a kid? You're married. You're sprightly! It's the next step! What does it matter?

Well....I find the phrase "worst thing in the world that could happen to me right now" snakes through my head. I know that's extreme. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I think I would make a good Mom. And Husband would be an awesome Dad. It's just....I'M YOUNG!

I'm only 22. I don't want to have a kid yet. There's things I want to do. What if I want to move back to LA? If I want to be in the film industry or any industry that requires a lot of standing (which I want...forever) it's not too good to have kids. Not to sound dramatic, but having a kid ends one spouses everyday life. It changes everything. I'm not naive enough to think that life goes on the way it did before you have kids.

Now let me clarify. No one is making me bear children. I actually want to have kids early so that way they're out of the house. :) (spoken like a true Twixter at heart. Get the kids out so I can go on vacation!). The question is...when? UGH.

Twixter One is so much less dramatic than me right now. I need to have some more fun in life.

It's good being single

2010-01-22T17:58:00.000-08:00

My room is an epic mess, with clothes and books strewn from one end to the other. There’s lipstick on my mirror and bras hanging on the door knob. I’m having cream tuna for dinner, and cookie dough for dessert. A “Private Practice” marathon with ensue shortly after.

I love The Boy dearly and wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world. But I will admit, on nights like tonight, it’s so very good being single.

The Assistant

2010-01-20T11:08:00.000-08:00

Has anyone seen “Up in the Air”?

The Boy and I went to see it in theaters and loved it, so I was overly excited when The Actress got a screener DVD in the mail this week. (Best perk of living with a SAG member, indeed.)

It’s a great movie that really hits at the heart of where our country is today. It’s filled with economic woes and tears and pain, and yet somehow leaves you walking out of the theatre with a new sense of purpose. Quite a feat for a film all about firing people.

If you’ve seen it, you probably don’t even remember my favorite scene. I couldn’t even find it on YouTube.

As Ryan (George Clooney’s character) races through the airport, he calls in to his assistant. (His name is Kevin, but you wouldn’t know that – I had to IMDB it.) Ryan’s calling to check in – and confirm the details on his Hertz rental car.

Without missing a beat Kevin informs him that yes, he has talked to Hertz, reminded them of his “super-duper high executive platinum Hertz Gold Club membership,” and that they’ll do anything possible to make sure he gets his blue Sebring. Oh, and his sister called but don’t worry – he told her that even Kevin didn’t know where Ryan was. Psh, like that would ever happen.

Welcome to my life.

My job is Kevin’s job. In fact, almost every twenty-something dipping their toes into the working world for the first time starts out as an assistant. To the outside world you don’t have a name, don’t have a face – just a cell phone and an email address accessible to The Boss 24-7. You book travel, mail Christmas cards, keep secrets and happily sit on hold for hours with Hertz Gold Club. You do the jobs The Boss doesn’t even remember need to be done. This is my world.

So I can empathize with “Kevin,” and chuckled about their exchange even after the movie had ended. Just today I received such a call, and before The Boss had time to hang up the phone I was already connected to American’s Executive Platinum desk, switching The Boss’s flight and firmly requesting his upgrade be transferred.

He was resting comfortably in first class before I even broke for lunch.

bored. BoReD. BORED.

2010-01-14T22:19:00.000-08:00

I have never felt this bored in my entire life.

Husband had an interview to work at a spa for the front desk. (He has a second interview. YES!) That interview was at 9:45 am. We went, I sat in the car, did my make up and read a little. Then we went to a book store and read. I finished reading The Lonely Hearts Club by Elizabeth Eulberg. It was adorable. I really like young adult novels (Such as Twilight, Princess Diaries, Avalon High, etc.) Probably another youthful trait that I will never loose. I moved on to Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. OH. MY. GOSH. It's awesome. Is it terrible that I love half fantasy novels with a teen love story? Probably not, seeing how many billion women of all ages on this earth worship Edward Cullen.

See this? I started talking about job interviews and jumped to teen fantasy novels. This is just how bored I am. So instead of writing a full blog. I'm writing a list of how to cure my boredom.

1. I start with checking my email. I do have 6 different gmail accounts I check regularly. Not including the few I don't check regularly. Let's just say I like creating things online that all require their own gmail account.

2. I check facebook, myspace etc. This constitutes checking pictures, stalking the people I don't talk to who I'm friends with only online. (Yes...our entire generation uses facebook to stalk people. It's true).

3. Read all my RSS articles. I follow many blogs and websites. It's enjoyable, fun and makes me feel technologically savvy. I had a friend once literally stop in his tracks when he saw me (as a female) have an RSS feed. Silly boys. The internet is for girls too.

4. YOUTUBE. The best invention on the internet of time. I watch many famous yotubers. I enjoy watching people make fools of themselves for millions of fans. If only I had so much fame.

5. Finally, now I'm learning HTML. It's been a process, but I'm really excited. I wish I would have learned it so long ago.

Wow. I'm ending this blog right here right now.

I got the job I didn't want by the way. More to come on that soon.

Life on Autopilot

2010-01-12T10:40:00.000-08:00

My little sister is learning how to drive. I’m not sure why they’re letting 8-year-olds get their permits (because my baby sister CANNOT be 15 already) but from the moment I arrived home for Christmas it was a constant begging of “Can we go to Target, or maybe to Albertsons? hmmm, does Mom need any milk for dinner?” Suddenly I was being offered up to run an endless list of errands, all from the passenger seat of my Nissan.

I remember when I first learned how to drive. I was so overwhelmed with everything I had to do - press the gas pedal just the right amount, turn the wheel, check the mirror, and don’t forget your turn signals. Everyone in the car had to stay silent, and if my left elbow itched, it itched until my car was fully into park. Just pulling out of my driveway into my residential neighborhood was a feat worthy of celebration and praise.

Today I left my apartment at 8:08 and suddenly the clock switched to 8:18 and I was pulling into my office - 4 miles away, with my makeup freshly applied, tea half empty in my left hand and email fully checked before I hit the office door. I don't actually remember turning out of my apartment onto the busy 4-lane street, or navigating morning traffic as I passed 3 freeways and the normal morning variety of idiot commute drivers. I just arrived, on auto-pilot, and walked through the door.

Funny how things change in a matter of a few years. Then again, I kinda feel like that's been life for me in general lately. 6-months ago I was completely overwhelmed at the thought of paying bills, maintaining my car, balancing work and life and a boyfriend, all while trying to learn navigating the new LA traffic that had become my life. Everything was an extreme stretch, and waking up at 7 am required conscious planning and effort.

Today I rolled out of bed and hit the shower before I realized my alarm hadn't even gone off. I checked my email and paid the gas bill simultaneously on my iPhone, not giving any thought to the process as I greeted the Fed-Ex guy at the office. Suddenly a life that was exciting and stressful and new has become ... autopilot.

Merry New Year and a Happy New Blog!

2010-01-08T20:11:00.000-08:00

Yes, it’s January. The entire world is set on keeping their New Years resolutions. (It’s still January 8th, so that statement remains true for at least another 7-days.) The world is filled with good intentions, so I’ll add another one to the batch.

I’m actually going to keep blogging here.

I wish I could say that the past 4-months have been a whirlwind of adventure, leaving me no time to detail you on the turbulent journey that is me reaching adulthood. It hasn’t been. Then again, the past 4-months haven’t been a prison sentence of ho-hum boredom either. I’ve pretty much just been lazy, or selfish. Or maybe a little bit of both.

How I managed to completely skip over 4-months of my life, I couldn't tell you. When I was in college I had semesters to mark my life. It's been x amount of days since mid-terms, or y amount of weeks until the final. You started dating so-and-so the fall semester of your Junior year, and bought your favorite t-shirt the summer before you were a Senior.

Suddenly, when you graduate, all sense of time gets thrown out the window. (and don't even get me started on how life-altering it is to no longer list your facebook albums by semester.) You begin living for the weekends, and there's no summer break to hold out for. Soon you can't remember if the weekend you lost your flip flops at the beach was in July or January. (and here in Southern California, either month is a toss up.)

Before you know it, it's been A YEAR since you finished school. One full year, can you believe it? I certainly can't. Then again, there was a time where life was filled with blue books, paper cuts, and coffee. lots and lots of coffee. Today those stresses are a thousand miles away. Instead I came home from work today, took an hour to decide on dinner, and stared at a book before deciding once again to toss it somewhere under my stack of bills. (This may or may not be the same book I've attempted to finish SINCE my last final, but that's neither here nor there.)

Where has all the time gone? What have I done? Suddenly my built in self-reflection time has withered up and a winters break worth of "what now" must be fit somewhere into the weekend between "wash all the dishes from last week" and "neah, I don't think I'll make the bed again today." It's a different life now, and I'm not sure how to deal with it.

But maybe that's it. Maybe I'm not supposed to figure out how to deal with it. I just deal. I wake up, I go to work. I see movies when I want, I binge on Grey's Anatomy episodes when I want. I pay the bills, and if I decide I feel like making a spur of the moment trip up North, I put it on my credit card.

Then suddenly, I wake up, and it's January. and it's been 4-months since I've blogged. Hello again.

Happy New Year! Kinda?

2010-01-08T15:43:00.000-08:00

I just re-read my last post from 4 months ago and laughed. It feels like eons, yet days ago I was just starting my semester in Los Angeles. Now it's over and things are completely different AGAIN. I'll have to post a longer blog about my previous semester. Now it's time for a new year and a new me! (sort of...well, not really at all)

But this new post is about what is happening in my life, in the moment! Against all odds, Husband and I ended up back in Las Vegas. Strangely enough, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Life isn't easy (living in the spare bedroom of your sister-in-laws house never is), but we're surviving. And Vegas is a whole hell of a lot cheaper than Southern California. So the goal is to stick it out until we can move somewhere we want or (gulp) maybe stay in Vegas. I of course would rather not stick it out in Sin City, but it does have its appeal. (Don't tell Twixter One. She'll come murder me out here)

The meat of the problem of my life is work. I have a pretty decent chance of working for an internet service provider out here, doing "retention." AKA, "misery." Well...ok...not "misery" but angry customers who want to cancel their service, I have to convince them to keep it and possibly spend more money. The only major positives to this job is it pays AMAZINGLY well and is consistently 40 hours a week. As in the debt I have will be totally paid off in probably 6 months tops with Husband and I working. Which is a huge goal of ours for this next year.

My other potential job is at a super fun restaurant as a hostess. Although I've only had 1 interview out of 3, so we'll see how that goes. The flaw with the restaurant is the hours aren't set. I could have anywhere from 20 to 35 hours. But I know my life would be significantly happier there. But less money equals stress elsewhere than the workplace.

So now, here I potentially stand at a Twixter moment. Do I choose the fun, less stable job or be the adult and choose the job I don't want for the bigger picture? The retention job makes me cringe internally/possibly punch something every time I think about it. But then my mind wanders to the idea of being debt free, and having the ability to buy a computer that doesn't overheat after an hour, or jeans without holes in them or an apartment.

Translation? "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I HATE MONEY!!!!!!"

That's all. Thanks and it's good to be back. I plan on writing in here a lot more. Seeing as I'm unemployed at the moment, it really helps inspire blog posts.

--Twixter Two

My Life is Upside Down

2009-09-02T19:44:00.000-07:00

Wow, so it's been quite some time since I updated. After the wedding, my whole life just turned upside down.

I was accepted into a film program last fall that I was insanely exicted about. Problem was, after visiting with financial aid and talking with the husband, we realized that we just didn't have enough money to survive in the film program. (We're not allowed to work while we attend the program). So we decided to withdrawal and move back to Las Vegas. I can be honest: this idea literally depressed me. I hated my job even more and despised waking up in the morning knowing that in a few weeks I would be back in the place I swore I would NEVER return to. But then my life was turned upside down again.

We got a call from the film program; they were offering us a scholarship to come out to LA. Of course inside I was ecstatic, but very, very wary. What if it didn't work out? What if when we got out here, we ran out of money? Was this the mistake we had saved ourselves from making, only to make it again? Aside from all of those questions, we went back to financial aid and a sort of miracle happened. We ended up with enough money to make it and moved out to LA two days later. We are definitely still scraping by and it's not the magical touristy experience we were looking for, but we are here!!

I AM IN LA. The place I have been dreaming about being in for so long. It's completely overwhelming. During the whole first week of orientation I would get home and fall asleep immediately only to wake up early the next morning for another all day long rules lecture. While I was so happy, I was SO bored. It was such a long week.

Now that it's done, the exciting part starts to happen. I'm filming a short film this weekend and have hopefully set up an interview with a production company on a famous studio lot. (This anonymity is fun).

So my life is totally upside down from where I thought I would be 2 weeks ago. Yet here I am. This year should be pretty interesting.

Your Mother has posted a comment.

2009-08-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

My mother has a facebook. In fact, so does my grandfather.

This fact used to annoy me greatly - is NOTHING sacred?!

I spent over a month on heightened alert, watching my profile like a hawk until I realized I could set my privacy settings to do the job for me - Now, Mum & Granddad are free to peruse my page without any danger of discovering my sarcastic status about only having rum in my fridge. (Which is a lie, there's orange juice in there too.)

It's every child's nightmare to have their parents enter into the digital age, but recently I've begun to realize the perks. My mother is famous for hour long phone conversations. and some days, those phone convo's are just what I need. But other days I don't need to hear a 15-minute ramble on what kind of bread she bought at the grocery store.

And that's where facebook comes in. Even better - that's where AIM comes in. (Yep, remember that from Jr. High. Love it. Use it. Really.) Now, instead of countless phone calls throughout the day (including at all hours during work) Mum can hop on the computer to shoot me a quick facebook post, or a quick IM, and whats done is done.

Oh the wonders of the digital age.

What Retail Has Taught Me

2009-08-13T00:17:00.001-07:00

The one thing that working in retail these past 3 months is patience.

I have learned patience in many different facets. Starting with customers. I know this is the obvious answer. Any job working with the public will lead you to the "customer" who is always right. I have asked a customer if they need help finding a size, they answer no, then proceed to tear apart the stack of shirts I just folded. That part irks me the most. I literally just offered to help but American consumers need help but won't ask for it. So I find myself offering help and rarely getting a response. It honestly makes my day when a customer actually asks for help. My job is much more joyous when I don't have to size pencil skirts every minute of my shift.

The next aspect of patience is learned by my co-workers. I never thought I would find myself in clothing retail. Most of the girls I work with are the stereotype of what I always suspected in woman's retail. Many women who love to talk about the other co-workers and spend a good chunk of their paycheck every week. On the other hand, I have to look at the tempting clothes on sale without purchasing a single item. I am saving every penny just for food and bills. I get frustrated hearing my lovely co-workers whine about how they are so broke but leave their shift with a bulging bag of new merchandise.

And finally, I learn patience because it is just a job I do not truly enjoy. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad. I like being on my feet and interacting with customers (minus the aforementioned issue). But I want to be doing something interesting. I want to feel like I'm contributing to my future. Working in retail pales in comparison to how I would like to feel in my job.

On a separate exciting note, I'm moving to Los Angeles in a week and a half to start a film program. I can't wait to start my internship. Maybe then, even while I'm making copies and answering the phone, I'll feel like I'm contributing to something bigger. We shall see.

Home - Sweet - Home

2009-08-10T15:42:00.000-07:00

It's been two weeks since I've moved into my new apartment, and I am absolutely delighted with the place. It's the luxury that I could never afford in college, including having my own room AND bathroom.

Somewhere around my junior year I had resigned to the fact that I would never have my own room again. I'd move straight from the cramped student dorms, to a cramped post-college apartment, to eventually getting married. All of which required sharing a room and shutter a closet with an unsuspecting stranger. After spending 17-years of my life having my own room, I mourned the loss of my privacy and uninterrupted closet space.

So, even though I may be spoiling myself a bit too much, I was delighted when I realized I could not only have my OWN room, but also my OWN bathroom at the new place. Now I can scatter makeup and brushes and cotton balls from one end to the other without my roommate ever uttering a sound. (Not that my current roommate, "the Actress" would even care).

Yet, as wonderful as it is to have my own place, I came to a quick realization just how much everything COSTS after the first weekend of settling in ended. Little things I took for granted - like the floor lamp that went home with my roommate, or my university-provided standard college desk, suddenly became "luxury items" after realizing that almost half my "impressive salary" went straight to my rent check.

I've always been a good manager of money, and paid for all of my college bills off of my minuscule part-time student worker paycheck. But I always had the benefit of relying on my student loans to give me one lump sum to pay off my subsidized University housing each semester. Now that I can't put rent on my already overburdened credit card, the necessity of a desk or lighting goes WAY down on the priority list.

Needless to say, I was delighted to find a gem of a desk on Craigslist for only $10! I'd looked at the desk not two weeks before at Ikea, but for a whopping $110 +tax, there was NO WAY I'd be getting it. But with a couple of screws, a little bit of nail glue, and homemade dinner as a bribe, my boyfriend put together my very first desk of my own. WoooHoo!

Now the apartment is almost settled, minus the fact that we have zero decorations and are slipping back into the 1800s and surviving on candlelight. (hey, it cuts the energy bill too - right?) It feels good to finally have a place to call "home" after over 4 years of a slightly flexible definition of "home." Somehow, I'm starting to feel like a grown up - especially with my rent check due in less than 2 weeks.

Put In My Place

2009-07-30T22:46:00.000-07:00

Currently, I am sitting in my hotel room in Dallas, Texas. I'm out here to film a documentary and I drove 23 hours with my husband on borrowed money and faith this will work. I'm putting all of my faith in this documentary being something great. So much faith I took out a "parent" loan just to get here.

Though the drive was long, it was very interesting. Driving from LA to Dallas let me see many extremely small towns. I still have no idea what would make someone live in those types of places. I would run away immediately to the city. Ugh. Driving through those towns reminds me of a documentary I saw called, "The Education of Shelby Knox" which is about sex education in a small town. Kids in Lubbock, TX have nothing better to do than have sex and do drugs. Seriously, why would you want that? (No offense to anyone who lives in a small town. I'm just a city girl through and through).

Lately I experienced a bit of stress surrounding my financial situation. I undershot my budget by quite a lot. So I'm sitting here trying to figure out if living off of cheap homemade sandwiches is enough nutrients to get me through an entire day of filming, when I get a metaphorical slap in the face.

While outside discussing the budget with my husband, a random man walks by us. My husband does the courteous thing and asks how he is, and he tells us. He's a very nice late twenties Texan who has his 3 months premature twins in the hospital under intensive care. His boy twin is pulling through like a champ: he's off the ventilator, and other life support with only an IV left. The girl twin, on the other hand, is not doing so well. She is on a respirator because she has a hole in her heart that is causing blood to go into her lungs causing infections. They tried to operate but her heart couldn't take it so they had to stop the surgery. They're going to try again next week, but the respirator that is helping her breathe is also causing infections in the lungs which make surgery more difficult.

This guy not only has two twins in the hospital, but he also has a 10 month old baby now. Here he was walking around outside because he was bored of just sitting in his room. He needed somewhere to go and someone to chat with and here we were. My little worries about sandwiches made me feel extremely selfish. Here is a man probably spending more than he has on saving the lives of his children. It just made me realize in this world, while I freak out and worry about little insignificant things, there are people experiencing true trauma and sadness. I know that we get told this all the time, but it is amazing how powerful it is to get a first hand example.

Let me just say I was put in my place.

New

2009-07-27T12:49:00.001-07:00

This past weekend I finally moved into my new apartment, and that's when it really hit me.

I'm moving to LA.

I've told most of my friends and family back home that I'm "staying" in CA where I "went to school." But really, I'm not. My friends are all within a "comfortable" LA driving distance (read: under 2 hours) but there's no one around to grab dinner with after work, or go out for drinks with on the weekend. I'm completely on my own out here.

I've always been the independent kind of girl who loved the thrill and adventure of picking up and moving somewhere new - I moved to a college a state away where I knew NO ONE for a reason. But I'm starting to realize the older I get that I need the stability of my friends and family close by. I'd love to go out and explore my new city, but only with the comfort of coming home to my best friend or seeing my boyfriend each night for dinner.

This is going to be the kind of growing experience I'll lecture my kid's about when I get older.

Of course, I'm intent on slowly manipulating my friends to get closer and closer. Twixter Two will be moving up North in just a few short weeks and we'll live closer than we have since high school. The next challenge will be to get the boyfriend to move up North after he graduates in December, and then I'll move on to my next victim. ;)

It's time I start making a new life of my own, but it's hard to leave the close-knit college life I spent four years deeply committed to. Sometimes it seems that's all that life is - a constant cycle of making new friends, and leaving the old. I'm ready for the time where friends are friends - regardless of what stage of life we're in.

And as cheesy as it is, an old song from my girl scout days starts ringing through my mind:
"Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other's gold."

Marriage, Comic-Con, and Life

2009-07-25T02:18:00.000-07:00

Well, long time no see! (Or read I guess)

I am now a married woman. Let me tell you it is a strange experience. I didn't live with my fiance before we got married so adjusting to life with a new person has actually been a truly enjoyable experience. Now the stuff everyone usually wants to hear.

The wedding was amazing. I couldn't imagine having a better time. Of course there were mishaps and mistakes, but there always are. The weather could not have been better for a beach wedding and I felt like a princess. It was a strange feeling to do nothing the day of the wedding. I wasn't allowed to and that went against every fiber in my being. I felt so bad for my fiance (at the time) because he was all stressed and I couldn't do anything to calm him. But seeing his face when I finally got to walk down the aisle made everything ok. He was crying like crazy and it was adorable.

Next was the honeymoon where we went to Walt Disney World. It really was, for lack of a better word, magical. We wore the married Mickey mouse ears ad the whole deal. My favorite part of the whole trip was my fiance's pure child-like belief in all the magic. I know he was pretending, but it truly did make everything so much more fun. In case you were wondering, Disney buffets are the best buffets of man kind.

Now it's back to reality....sort of. I was supposed to attend the illustrious Comic-Con in San Diego but unfortunately something happened when we bought our tickets, thus we never bought them. A mistake was made and my husband and I spent over an hour scouring our email boxes and calling our banks and credit companies trying to prove we bought tickets to no avail. I ended up crying (well more silently bawling) in front of the hundreds of people who walked by as we figured it out. Embarrassing. But I'm over it and will NEVER make a mistake like this again.

And now I'm attempting to figure out how to finance my over budget personal documentary. But since I don't overly want to make decisions now at nearly 3 am, I think it's time for bed.

This was quite the hodge podge of information. More normal blogs will return this week. I have missed this dearly.

A Bicycle Built for Me

2009-07-21T19:12:00.000-07:00

My co-worker and I have been semi-seriously contemplating riding our bikes to work, being that I'm moving a quarter mile away from her and a "good work out distance" from the office. I've never been much of a bike girl and managed to survive all 4-years of college without ever owning one, but after the horrific 2-month's I've had with my car, it's starting to look promising.

It all started my FIRST WEEK on the job. I was still commuting the hour North into Burbank while living in Orange County, which meant plenty of time sitting on the 5. Lots of sitting. Though, apparently, I didn't do enough sitting because one second I was glancing at my clock and the next I had rear ended a huge SUV.

The SUV walked away with a minor scratch. My car was totaled. Ever want to see a grown man cry? Show my dad the pictures of my accident - he mourned over the loss of the first car he ever bought his baby girl.

So, that left me without a car on my first week of my new job, with an hour commute. The week before I was moving to Burbank. The week before graduation. Days before my extended family was coming in to town. Needless to say I was a bigger wreck than my car.

Eventually I found my perfect car - my pretty blue Nissan Sentra. But getting the car was an even bigger nightmare than the accident. To get it titled, smogged, and registered alone took over 2-months and 4 trips to the DMV! On top of the fact, that after buying it used from a private seller I had mountains of maintenace work to do.

All throughout college anytime I had car problems I raced home to my Daddy. He used to be a mechanic, so I always new he'd take care of whatever my car needed. Which of course included dealing with the incredible lines and ridiculous phone system at the DMV - I never had to worry about anything. But with an accident happening so close to my graduation Dad thought it was finally time for me to grow up - and left me to wade the waters of car ownership on my own. Sure, I learned a lot, but honestly dad - I'm exhausted. Who thought owning a car would be this much work!

Yesterday was the final straw when the DMV threatened to take away my license for being a Nevada licensed driver driving in the state of California. (Yea - I'm serious. Sound ridiculous to you to?) All the calm and responsible arguing I did wouldn't help, nor would emotional outrage, and I finally gave up and called my dad, who promptly called and chewed the DMV out.

If this is how much work being a car owner is, I give up. Give me something with 2 wheels, some ribbons and a basket - I don't want to grow up THAT badly.

A Place to Call Home

2009-07-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

The last two month's I've been sleeping on a cot on my boss's floor while I've tried to find an apartment. (It's not as weird as it sounds, his wife is my old professor, so THAT'S why I'm staying there) (not that he doesn't like having a live-in-assistant).

Of course finding a good, cheap apartment in LA is like finding a needle in a haystack. or worse, it's like finding a ONE needle in 5 DOZEN haystacks.

LA isn't like most places - where you strictly have the city and suburbia. In LA there's downtown, the city, the other city, suburbia, suburbia's suburbia - well, you get the picture.

Luckily, I at least had it narrowed down to the Valley so I could stay near work, but I never realized how big of an undertaking apartment shopping is.

I lived the first two years of college in the campus dorms. After a brief stint abroad which involved more hostels than my actual flat, I moved into a campus apartment. More space, more freedom but definitely with all the perks of a college dorm - low rent, furniture provided, and easy financial aid funded payments.

When I found out that I'd be working in Burbank I didn't think it would be THAT hard to find an apartment. But before I found an apartment I had to find a roommate. Then I had to decide exactly WHERE to live. (Burbank? Toluca Lake? Valley Village? Studio City? No Ho?) Help! Even when I got that hammered down it still meant spending lunch hour after lunch hour touring a bunch of crappy places that wanted my soul and then a little more to cover rent. It was a humbling experience.

Eventually my roommate and I found a comfy 2 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath townhome - and it comes with a fridge!!! We put down our deposits this week and will get to move in by the end of the month!

Finally, I thought all the hard stuff was over with, delighted to finally have my own place. We're lucky to have an Ikea close by, which I assumed would take care of all my furniture needs.

Well, you quickly learn how poor you are when Ikea is too expensive for your tastes. So, I've been spending the past two days at work scouring craigslist for cheap furniture finds, praying I can find a mattress that doesn't stink or stain or basically one that doesn't scare me.

I can't wait for the day when I can actually afford to buy my own furniture, because at this point I am so exhausted that all I want is to walk into a furniture store and say - This one. Yep. Ship it to me.

Catching the Bouquet!

2009-07-12T10:30:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was the most wonderful day, and now Twixter Two is leaving me to tend the fort for the next week while she's Honeymooning at the Walt Disney World Resort. Congratulations Twixter Two and Hubby!!

Twixter Two and I have been friends ever since sixth grade, which means we've had plenty of opportunity to reminisce about our weddings. Neither of us really had anything planned (though I'm pretty sure I remember her mentioning swans at some point) but we had plenty of time to talk about how it would feel to be wearing that pretty white dress.

It astounds me that Twixter Two is NOW MARRIED!!! I've had my share of weddings (eleven in the past year, 3 of which I was in) however none of them really hit me like the marriage of my childhood best friend. Most of the gals (or guys) I met in college; they were adults from the start so it made sense that they would get married.

But I met Twixter Two when both of us were awkward Jr. High schoolers - I remember when boys had cooties, gossiping about both of our first kisses, and even the day that she and hubby met! and as I was sitting at the bridesmaids table, watching them dance their first dance (Most AWESOME first dance ever) I realized that all of that is about to change. There are no more girlie sleepovers, no more gossip about boys.

I'm at a weird transition in my life. For the majority of my friends, I'm reaching old maid status, since almost everyone was married right out of college - at only 21. (We'll talk about the MRS degree later.) But, for lots of my older friends (and may I say, my parents) 21 is way too young to be married.

The boy and I have been dating for almost a year and nine months, which means I get tossed somewhere in the middle. My married friends want us to be married already, but my single friends think I'm crazy to have dated the same guy for so long. I caught the bouquet at Twixter Two's wedding, which sparked a long, overdrawn convo with the mother about how I'm too young to even think about marriage.

What she doesn't realize is that my life will never be that of a typical 21-year-old. Let alone what she was like when she was 21. There won't be spontaneous road trips with the girls, or nights out partying in LA - because all the girls are now women who have to check with their husbands before planning a night out. Rent in LA is through the roof that I can't afford to keep living on my own, and gas prices kill our hour-and-a-half commute. (He lives in Orange County, not so happy about my move up to LA.)

Of course, I'll end this with the same disclaimer that I gave the mother - it's not like the boy is even THINKING about proposing tomorrow. (Though was shocked when I caught the bouquet since usually it bounces off my folded arms). But that doesn't mean if he does I wouldn't immediately say yes.

So, maybe I should just be happy that the ball isn't in my court; my decision has already been made for me.

Workin' the 9-5

2009-07-07T11:36:00.000-07:00

It's only 11:36 AM on a Tuesday and I'm already resorting to blogging at work to make the hours pass by. This is going to be one long week.

I finished up the last of my undergrad units in December, which means I've really been "graduated" for over 6-months now. But, I weaseled my way into taking one more unit of internship, meaning I got to "play student" for another semester and avoid real life. Those six months were SUPPOSED to be my opportunity to find my dream career - namely one that allowed me to wear converses and didn't use the term "9-5" anywhere in my hiring contract.

However, as the months clicked by I got more desperate, so I only managed to land one of my two requisites. Every morning at 8 am I slip on my converse (or rainbows during the glorious summer months) and crawl into work, hitting the kitchen for a strong cup of tea before beginning my day.

I am not a 9 - 5 kind of person. The idea of working the same job, never ending, from 9 am - 5 pm every Monday through Friday has sent me into panic mode on more than one occasion. I'm not adverse to working long hours - in fact, I'd much rather work a 10 or 12-hour day! But the idea of showing up to an office and working the same thing, at the same desk, day after day makes my eyes cross and my mouse gravitate towards facebook.

I'm not the person who can do the same repetitive task day after day. I need something that excites me and challenges me or else my work ethic whittles it's way down to none. Luckily, even though my new job has me chained to my desk every day from 9-5, my boss' intense, high-octane personality gives me some sense of unpredictability.

Nonetheless, I am envious of my fellow graduates who are freelancing and jumping from set to set today. I'd die for a chance to be on location, instead of locked away in an office. Then again, I'd probably die then from lack of nutrition, since production is at an all time low and I wouldn't even be able to make rent. So, in the long run working a 9-5 job won't kill me - as long as it comes with an week-to-week paycheck.

Tick-tock-Tick-tock - Ten Minutes down, and only 31.5 hours left until the weekend.

Just Not That Kind of Girl

2009-07-04T18:41:00.000-07:00

So I realized these past few weeks, I'm just not that kind of girl. What kind of you girl you may ask? I'll explain.

I'm not the kind of girl who knew exactly what she wanted for her wedding. I didn't have dresses in mind or locations or cakes. I don't have one of those binders with magazine cut outs of bride's maid dresses.

I just knew I wanted to have fun with my family and friends in a pretty white dress.

So needless to say, this "1-week-left-crunch-time" before my wedding has been a nightmare for me. Everyone calls me to ask me my opinion on plans for the wedding: "Is it ok if this person brings a guest? Do we have tables set? Do we need shuttle drivers? What time should bridal party arrive? Where do guests stay? What are the exact directions to the ceremony location?" And all I want to do is scream back,"I don't care! Just let it happen!" Which is obviously not the appropriate response.

So I have to quietly answer and plan and schedule, when all I want to do is bake some cookies and snuggle on the couch watching Food Network. But alas, weddings don't happen that way.

I cannot wait for my wedding to be done. Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to get married that it's hard to put into words, but I just wish the stress didn't have to come with the happy occasion. It puts a damper on the who joy when all I can think about is if we have enough chairs and who is going to start the slide show at the right time. I don't understand the brides that become depressed when the ceremony is done because they miss all the planning. I'll miss the moment of the wedding, but definitely NOT the planning.

On a brighter note, I'm just happy I'm with someone who doesn't mind that I'm just not that kind of girl. And I just keep reminding myself that around 7 days exactly from right now, I'll be married and on my way to start my honeymoon. I'll just have to keep visiting my happy place until all this fiasco...I mean wedding is over.

--Twixter Two

Greetings & Introductions, by Twixter Two

2009-06-26T23:10:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

I'm Twixter Two.

Now what a 'twixter' is should be addressed somewhere in the beginning of this blog.

My personal definition: one who realizes all too quickly that the responsibilities and harsh reality of growing up sure makes growing up not as awesome as previously thought. (Refer to Time Magazine if you want a more official definition).

As a college freshman, you don't think about the greatness of living off credit between jobs, or working crappy retail because you need seasonal money on top of another disappointing part time job, because that "dream career" isn't quite here yet. No. You think about having your own place, settling down, and magically landing that dream lifestyle that everyone told you was possible if you try hard enough.

I try pretty hard, and I'll tell you I'm still not even close yet.

I am currently in my 5th year of college as a film major. My immediate response is to defensively explain why I'll be taking an extra year to complete college. I usually say, "I changed majors the middle of my sophomore year, so I have some catching up to do. Yes, I did change my major, but that doesn't change the fact I took only 12 units for the past five semesters. I don't regret it; the issues in my life (possibly addressed in a later blog) would have made passing all my classes nearly impossible. But, now I am a super senior. At least I finally found the major I think I love and still maintain a 3.5 GPA.

A few facts about my life:

I'm getting married on July 11 to the most amazing guy I know. We've been dating for about four years now and I am so excited. A lot of my blog will be about how married life affects my school work and career. According to my fellow Twixter Generation, I'm getting married pretty young. (I'm 21.)

My fiance and I were accepted into a film program in L.A. where you participate in a TV/Film internship in Hollywood. I'll be living in good 'ol Los Angeles only a few minutes (in L.A. time) from Twixter One. I don't even have the words to explain how excited I am to be immersed in the world of Hollywood all next semester.

I am currently working on a documentary that I'm hoping will change my life. (At least a little). I am still debating on if I want to talk specifics here since Twixter One and I are still discussing how anonymous we want to keep this blog. I guess it all depends on what we actually blog about.

Well, that's the run down on me, Twixter Two. Hope you enjoy.

Hi, I'm Twixter One

2009-06-26T22:24:00.001-07:00

When I was little, all I ever wanted to be was a grown up. I was always described as "mature for my age" and thought talking to the adults was much more fun than playing tag with the kids.

Then one day I woke up with a degree being mailed to my parents house, with no job, no money, and no place to live. I spent the next six-months bumming in my on-campus apartment and living off of my credit card.

I took me five-months to become gainfully employed and another month to find a place that would let me wear my rainbows and converses to work every day if I liked. The fact of the matter is that condition was even more important than health insurance.

So I made the jump and moved an hour North to Burbank, CA where I am currently spending my days working as an executive assistant and my nights sleeping on a cot on an old professors floor. I eat breakfast and lunch out of the company refrigerator and enjoy Wendy's 99 cent menu for dinner.

Hello, may name is Twixter One, and yes, I'm a part of Generation Y.

Hold on, you may pause - what exactly IS a Twixter?

A twixter is a twenty something who basically refuses to grow up. They jump continuously from job to job, they live at their parents house, and never understand the definition of 'cash' because money always comes on plastic.

I never thought I'd become a twixter. Growing up seemed glamorous, exciting. I always dreamed of getting that perfect job straight out of college and moving into that perfect urban apartment. I wanted everything, including the white pickett fence.

Well, I sold the white pickett fence for gas money.

But at least now I'm on my way. I still have more plastic than paper, and I'm beginning to look longingly and gratefully at those squeaky college bunk beds. But I've got a new car (story for a later post), a new city, and a new job.

And as of today, a new blog. Hope you enjoy - I'm sure it'll be a road trip to remember (but not necessarily one to re-try!)