A few years back, I got this crazy idea in my head that I wanted to drop out of college and go to Culinary School. I even went to visit 3 different culinary schools in my area of southern California. I was smitten. I wanted to wear a chef coat and create amazing scallops on a big plate with green and orange garnish sauce underneath and vegetables stacked perfectly on top.
I've always loved baking and cooking my entire life. It's my sort of zen. If I'm stressed, I usually bake or cook something. I even had the measurements of 1/8 of a batch of chocolate chip cookies memorized. It makes about 4 cookies. I started to put 2 and 2 together, realized I could potentially cook for a living. Would that be so bad? I ultimately decided finishing my undergrad would be a smart back up plan. (This was before I decided to change my major. Idiot).
So I've started researching culinary school again this past week, with 1 semester left of my undergrad. I just found out that the Cordon Bleu in Vegas costs $40,000 for the culinary and $25,000 for baking. W.T.F.?
My private school for 5 years of education will not cost me as much as the Cordon Bleu program.
Now I've chatted with several people that now tell me you don't HAVE to attend the CB and many other schools are regarded just as highly and are significantly less expensive.
But then I researched what life is like for an aspiring chef. It's long, strange hours for the next 10-15 years of my life. Strange hours meaning, 4 pm to 2 am including holidays. Is this the type of life I want? Not really. I want kids. I want to be able to come home and hang out with my husband. I want to be able to go out with friends.
I've heard that culinary is like the film/television industry, in the fact that if you can picture yourself doing something else, you should do the something else. I've magically found myself interested in 2 very niche passion industries.
Can I picture myself working 12 hour days in a kitchen? Yes.
Can I picture myself working on a set for 14 hour days? Yes.
Can I picture myself doing something else? Yes.
Well, damn it. Now what?
Monday, February 1, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Being a Big Girl. And Going To Work.
Well, this will be my last weekend as an unemployed citizen. It's a bitter sweet feeling. As much as I've enjoyed sitting around the house doing nothing all the time, the empty wallet is not a feeling I've grown to like.
As I mentioned before, this job that starts Monday is the one job I didn't want. It's a "responsible adult" job that just does not sound fun in the slightest. I'll be working in the retention department of a call center for an internet provider. Not exactly what I would call a party, but the job is full time and pays better than any job I've ever had. It's going to be so amazing feeling to open my paycheck and see it's over $400. With only having part time jobs prior to this, it will be very weird to work for 40 hours a week. One other cool perk is I get free wireless internet installed where I live. Not to shabby.
I'm working on being very honest about my emotions in this blog, so bear with me. (Twixter One can attest, I don't often talk about my emotions. Just how I grew up I guess.)
I'm really freaking scared of this job. I'm terrified of not wanting to wake up each day because I hate 40 hours out of my 168 I get each week. That's 24% of my week. And say I sleep 8 hours a night. That leaves 52% of my week untouched. That's not a lot. It sounds like it is. But it isn't. What if the money isn't enough? I just really want to pay my bills off and have a bit of a savings. Sorry for the math lesson. Just a small peek into how my nerdy mind works.
But there's something else... What I'm really scared of is actually liking it. What if I really like this job and don't want to leave? I'm a goal oriented person. I like promotion and training and teaching. What if this place gives me the opportunity? Vegas was supposed to be extremely temporary. Move here, save some money and get the hell out. The longer I stay here, the harder it will be to leave. But I also don't want to leave too early. I don't want to be some place else with no job and no one to help us like we luckily have out here.
But then when is the right time to leave? I feel like I'm on the edge of a fence on a hot day. On one side, there's an awesome tree with shade. On the other side is a small lake. Both are helpful and can keep you cool. But which one do you choose? They're so different in their pros and cons. So I just stand on the fence sweating my ass off doing nothing.
(sigh)
As I mentioned before, this job that starts Monday is the one job I didn't want. It's a "responsible adult" job that just does not sound fun in the slightest. I'll be working in the retention department of a call center for an internet provider. Not exactly what I would call a party, but the job is full time and pays better than any job I've ever had. It's going to be so amazing feeling to open my paycheck and see it's over $400. With only having part time jobs prior to this, it will be very weird to work for 40 hours a week. One other cool perk is I get free wireless internet installed where I live. Not to shabby.
I'm working on being very honest about my emotions in this blog, so bear with me. (Twixter One can attest, I don't often talk about my emotions. Just how I grew up I guess.)
I'm really freaking scared of this job. I'm terrified of not wanting to wake up each day because I hate 40 hours out of my 168 I get each week. That's 24% of my week. And say I sleep 8 hours a night. That leaves 52% of my week untouched. That's not a lot. It sounds like it is. But it isn't. What if the money isn't enough? I just really want to pay my bills off and have a bit of a savings. Sorry for the math lesson. Just a small peek into how my nerdy mind works.
But there's something else... What I'm really scared of is actually liking it. What if I really like this job and don't want to leave? I'm a goal oriented person. I like promotion and training and teaching. What if this place gives me the opportunity? Vegas was supposed to be extremely temporary. Move here, save some money and get the hell out. The longer I stay here, the harder it will be to leave. But I also don't want to leave too early. I don't want to be some place else with no job and no one to help us like we luckily have out here.
But then when is the right time to leave? I feel like I'm on the edge of a fence on a hot day. On one side, there's an awesome tree with shade. On the other side is a small lake. Both are helpful and can keep you cool. But which one do you choose? They're so different in their pros and cons. So I just stand on the fence sweating my ass off doing nothing.
(sigh)
Friday, January 29, 2010
Post Grad
I just finished Post Grad, the new film starting Alexis Bledel of Gilmore Girls fame. Usually I wouldn’t admit to the fact that I actually enjoyed that film, but I’m in a new stage of life where I’m willing to own up to the fact that I thoroughly enjoy cheesy girly chick flicks; they’re my favorites. Plus, how could I not love the poster after my last blog:
Okay, that subject is neither here nor there, so anyways.
Post Grad is not necessarily a unique chick flick. It’s the typical boy loves girl, girl is oblivious until it’s too late - or is it? I won’t ruin the ending for you, but come on - it’s predictable. Nevertheless, the film SCREAMS Twixter generation. Rydel (how cute is that name?) graduates from college and is stuck living at home with her parents - no job, no car, no idea what to do. Of course, unlike some in our generation she HAS tried to move out of her High School bedroom - only to be denied by our current crappy economy.
If someone ever made a film about my life so far, this would be it. It’s like the plot line was stolen directly from the last year of my life - right down to the horrific car accident the same week as graduation!
In high school I had a plan all laid out - a golden brick road of sorts, except for this one was paved with straight A’s. But somewhere along the way, reality set in. I was lucky enough to avoid the embarrassing move back to my parents house, but I was astonished after the first few resumes submitted that I hadn’t gotten a job yet. What we’re these people thinking - I was a college graduate! Magna Cum Laude at that!
Eventually the little stumbles in life brought me to the job I have today, but the six months I spent wandering taught me a lot. Finding a job - starting your career - is a two-way game. No one is going to hand it to you - you have to be smart, work hard, and persevere. And yet, all the hard work in the world isn’t going to get you anywhere unless someone else tells you yes. You need that golden opportunity.
Of course, the other half of the film is the love story. Rydel works so hard that she misses the love of her life that is right in front of her. If anything, this subject has consumed my thoughts lately. I’m independent, a feminist, a girl who has dreams for her career a mile high - and at this time in my life all I want to do is find the ladder and start climbing. Yet, so many women who are older and wiser than me have cautioned me that without someone by my side, the top of that ladder is lonely and disappointing.
Im lucky enough that The Boy isn’t threatening to run off to New York, and the hour drive between us can be conquered. But with both of us climbing up our own ladders, sometimes things get shaky. It’s hard when neither are on solid ground. That’s the part the chick flick always manages to leave out - what happens after the boy gets the girl, and they’re left to figure out how?
So what about you? Are you pushing your way through, climbing the ladder to the top? or still waiting on that golden opportunity? or maybe you’ve been swept away, by the guy or gal of your dreams like Twixter Two, and figuring it all out together?
Let us know in the comments below!
Okay, that subject is neither here nor there, so anyways.
Post Grad is not necessarily a unique chick flick. It’s the typical boy loves girl, girl is oblivious until it’s too late - or is it? I won’t ruin the ending for you, but come on - it’s predictable. Nevertheless, the film SCREAMS Twixter generation. Rydel (how cute is that name?) graduates from college and is stuck living at home with her parents - no job, no car, no idea what to do. Of course, unlike some in our generation she HAS tried to move out of her High School bedroom - only to be denied by our current crappy economy.
If someone ever made a film about my life so far, this would be it. It’s like the plot line was stolen directly from the last year of my life - right down to the horrific car accident the same week as graduation!
In high school I had a plan all laid out - a golden brick road of sorts, except for this one was paved with straight A’s. But somewhere along the way, reality set in. I was lucky enough to avoid the embarrassing move back to my parents house, but I was astonished after the first few resumes submitted that I hadn’t gotten a job yet. What we’re these people thinking - I was a college graduate! Magna Cum Laude at that!
Eventually the little stumbles in life brought me to the job I have today, but the six months I spent wandering taught me a lot. Finding a job - starting your career - is a two-way game. No one is going to hand it to you - you have to be smart, work hard, and persevere. And yet, all the hard work in the world isn’t going to get you anywhere unless someone else tells you yes. You need that golden opportunity.
Of course, the other half of the film is the love story. Rydel works so hard that she misses the love of her life that is right in front of her. If anything, this subject has consumed my thoughts lately. I’m independent, a feminist, a girl who has dreams for her career a mile high - and at this time in my life all I want to do is find the ladder and start climbing. Yet, so many women who are older and wiser than me have cautioned me that without someone by my side, the top of that ladder is lonely and disappointing.
Im lucky enough that The Boy isn’t threatening to run off to New York, and the hour drive between us can be conquered. But with both of us climbing up our own ladders, sometimes things get shaky. It’s hard when neither are on solid ground. That’s the part the chick flick always manages to leave out - what happens after the boy gets the girl, and they’re left to figure out how?
So what about you? Are you pushing your way through, climbing the ladder to the top? or still waiting on that golden opportunity? or maybe you’ve been swept away, by the guy or gal of your dreams like Twixter Two, and figuring it all out together?
Let us know in the comments below!
A Pair of Big Girl Heels
My wardrobe in college consisted purely of jeans, v-neck T-Shirts, a baggy university sweatshirt and converses. I was lucky enough to live a 5-minute walk from campus, which meant my morning routine consisted of tossing my hair in a ponytail and running out the door with a cup of tea in hand.
I’ve never been the dress up kind of girl. While a small part inside of me loves dressing up fancy, finding that perfect little black dress or curling my hair just right, a bigger part of me loves sleep. I can’t imagine spending an hour on my hair in the morning when I could be using that hour for something much better. Like sleep.
I was frightened about entering the work world and having to slip on heels every morning before I headed to the office. My first day at my new job I agonized over my wardrobe and finally decided on a black collared shirt, grey dress pants, and a brand new pair of Two-Inch “Big Girl” heels.
Can I repeat? TWO-INCH HEELS!
I’m pretty sure those heels have only been worn once since then. I walked into the office on my first day and met my coworkers – who were all wearing flip-flops and jeans. I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief and the next day switched out my heels for a much more comfortable pair of flats.
There are moments when I cherish my companies casual dress policy. (Like today, Friday, when the boss is gone and all I wanted to do was stay in bed in my PJs). Yet, sometimes I wish there was a little bit more push to dress up for work each day. Because if I know it’s fine for me to come into work in converses and a v-neck, I will. There’s no motivation to dress otherwise.
So, I loved Work Chic’s blog about how to have Profession Style in a Casual Office.
A lot of the suggestions on both the site and the blog are a little expensive for a post-collegiate like me, but my favorite go-to substitution (Target) has a lot of options that could work. For someone whose idea of “changing things up” is to wear a zip-up instead of a hoodie, I liked the suggestion of finding “trouser style denim” and using accessories to brighten things up. Maybe it’s time I get out of the college slump and (gasp) freecycle some of those old T’s and jeans and go on a bit of a shopping spree.
Of course, what I liked the most about the article is that neither outfit mentioned any kind of killer heels. Even if I’m tiptoeing into the world of professional dress, I’ll can still tiptoe in a pair of comfy flats.
I’ve never been the dress up kind of girl. While a small part inside of me loves dressing up fancy, finding that perfect little black dress or curling my hair just right, a bigger part of me loves sleep. I can’t imagine spending an hour on my hair in the morning when I could be using that hour for something much better. Like sleep.
I was frightened about entering the work world and having to slip on heels every morning before I headed to the office. My first day at my new job I agonized over my wardrobe and finally decided on a black collared shirt, grey dress pants, and a brand new pair of Two-Inch “Big Girl” heels.
Can I repeat? TWO-INCH HEELS!
I’m pretty sure those heels have only been worn once since then. I walked into the office on my first day and met my coworkers – who were all wearing flip-flops and jeans. I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief and the next day switched out my heels for a much more comfortable pair of flats.
There are moments when I cherish my companies casual dress policy. (Like today, Friday, when the boss is gone and all I wanted to do was stay in bed in my PJs). Yet, sometimes I wish there was a little bit more push to dress up for work each day. Because if I know it’s fine for me to come into work in converses and a v-neck, I will. There’s no motivation to dress otherwise.
So, I loved Work Chic’s blog about how to have Profession Style in a Casual Office.
A lot of the suggestions on both the site and the blog are a little expensive for a post-collegiate like me, but my favorite go-to substitution (Target) has a lot of options that could work. For someone whose idea of “changing things up” is to wear a zip-up instead of a hoodie, I liked the suggestion of finding “trouser style denim” and using accessories to brighten things up. Maybe it’s time I get out of the college slump and (gasp) freecycle some of those old T’s and jeans and go on a bit of a shopping spree.
Of course, what I liked the most about the article is that neither outfit mentioned any kind of killer heels. Even if I’m tiptoeing into the world of professional dress, I’ll can still tiptoe in a pair of comfy flats.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Lack of Job Interview Hospitality
Today I went to an interview at a very nice hotel on the Las Vegas Strip. It was pouring rain today in Vegas. And I actually do mean freezing rain, not that "sprinkling" business. But I wore a rocking turquoise suit jacket anyway to prove the rain doesn't get me down. And the fact is, my jacket is awesome.
The 15 person took place in one of the executive suites. It was gorgeous.
I have to tell you, in high school. I was a brown-noser, kiss-ass, suck up, whatever term you use. That was me. I have since grown from my days of attempting to make every superior I meet love me by what I say about them or the company they work for. I have found honesty works better.
Well that was the wrong strategy today. We had a 30 minute question process where you had to state your name and why you wanted to work for the company. I almost scoffed out loud at the answer of a guy my age in a full (ill fitted) business suit. We shall call him Suit-Boy from now on. Suit-Boy may as well have gotten down and bowed to the interviewer as he read some invisible cue cards advertising the hotel. I couldn't believe it. His "random question" which is supposed to explain your personality was, "What would you do if you could live a life without fear?" Suit-Boy of course answered well.
When it was my turn, I answered honestly. I didn't have front desk experience and I have ALWAYS wanted to work front desk. But alas, exactly like the freaking food industry, no one will hire you unless you have experience. How am I supposed to get experience when no will give me the chance? (Off my soap box)
Then my "Random Question" was "If you could play any instrument, what would it be and why?"
My immediate thought was Are you freaking serious? THIS is my question? The guy next to me just got asked about what super power he'd want and why. WHAT INSTRUMENT? UGH!
I answered well. Piano. Some BS. Whatever. Annoyed.
After it was done, the interviewers deliberated and we all waited outside. Guess who I got to chatting with? Suit-Boy. Find out we went to the same high school together. Both in honors. Graduated the same year. He had no idea who I was. (Luckily I didn't remember him either so I didn't feel like THAT much of a loser). His major? Hotel Hospitality and Management. I had no chance.
I was right. He got called in. As well as "If someone gave me 2,000 to spend on myself I'd donate every penny" woman. Whatev.
Maybe I'm not meant for the hospitality industry after all.
The 15 person took place in one of the executive suites. It was gorgeous.
I have to tell you, in high school. I was a brown-noser, kiss-ass, suck up, whatever term you use. That was me. I have since grown from my days of attempting to make every superior I meet love me by what I say about them or the company they work for. I have found honesty works better.
Well that was the wrong strategy today. We had a 30 minute question process where you had to state your name and why you wanted to work for the company. I almost scoffed out loud at the answer of a guy my age in a full (ill fitted) business suit. We shall call him Suit-Boy from now on. Suit-Boy may as well have gotten down and bowed to the interviewer as he read some invisible cue cards advertising the hotel. I couldn't believe it. His "random question" which is supposed to explain your personality was, "What would you do if you could live a life without fear?" Suit-Boy of course answered well.
When it was my turn, I answered honestly. I didn't have front desk experience and I have ALWAYS wanted to work front desk. But alas, exactly like the freaking food industry, no one will hire you unless you have experience. How am I supposed to get experience when no will give me the chance? (Off my soap box)
Then my "Random Question" was "If you could play any instrument, what would it be and why?"
My immediate thought was Are you freaking serious? THIS is my question? The guy next to me just got asked about what super power he'd want and why. WHAT INSTRUMENT? UGH!
I answered well. Piano. Some BS. Whatever. Annoyed.
After it was done, the interviewers deliberated and we all waited outside. Guess who I got to chatting with? Suit-Boy. Find out we went to the same high school together. Both in honors. Graduated the same year. He had no idea who I was. (Luckily I didn't remember him either so I didn't feel like THAT much of a loser). His major? Hotel Hospitality and Management. I had no chance.
I was right. He got called in. As well as "If someone gave me 2,000 to spend on myself I'd donate every penny" woman. Whatev.
Maybe I'm not meant for the hospitality industry after all.
Monday, January 25, 2010
I Miss My Friends
I had the idyllic college experience.
My life felt like it belonged in one of the college glossies: late night coffee runs with my roommates, study abroad’s to foreign destinations, hours holed up in the film production center - it was a full 4 years of fun and friends who soon became my family.
My friends were my life. I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner with them; we ran errands and bought groceries together. We laughed and made spontaneous runs to Diddy Rieses, and screamed and cried when finals season came around. They became family, even in a way that my family couldn’t (largely because I CHOSE to love this side.) While the classes I took were enriching and the college life exciting, what really made my college experience were the people that became my lifelong friends.
Then I graduated from college.
I moved an hour away, but assumed the F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode would continue. There would be drinks after work, and crashing at each others houses. There’d be parties and road trips - it’d be like college except with more alcohol and less homework.
However, there are no glossies for real life. No one gives you a brochure when you graduate from college, advertising all the wonderful experiences ahead of you. As a TV junkie, I expected to walk right into a F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode , but I hate to tell you - Hollywood lied.
Most nights I come home, make some kind of a mish-mash of dinner alone and watch TV before I go to bed. I’ll call my friends to try and make plans, but they always fall through. Someone had to work late, or needs the weekend to sleep. or it’s raining and the drive is just too far.
On a rare night I’ll have a 3-hour date with The Best - on the phone, eating our dinners 300 miles apart. The Best moved to Northern California at the end of summer, yet I feel like I’ve seen her more often than anyone who stayed down South.
We’ve talked a lot about the best friend problem - both of us displaced from the comfortable home of our college town. We’re grasping tightly to the best friends of our college years, repeating the mantra that we are friends for life. But how do those friendships continue when you’re 5 1/2 hours apart?
It’s time to start making new friends in my new post-college life. I’m lucky to have awesome co-workers that have frequented happy hour with me on more than one occasion. And I’ve joined in with them and their friends as well. But, being me, I’m shy and always worried that I’ll seem like the tag-along.
So what do you think?
What’s the best way to make new friends in a new town? Do F.R.I.E.N.D.S. episode friendships really exist? Is it silly to believe college-type friendships (and midnight coffee runs) can continue into adult life?
My life felt like it belonged in one of the college glossies: late night coffee runs with my roommates, study abroad’s to foreign destinations, hours holed up in the film production center - it was a full 4 years of fun and friends who soon became my family.
My friends were my life. I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner with them; we ran errands and bought groceries together. We laughed and made spontaneous runs to Diddy Rieses, and screamed and cried when finals season came around. They became family, even in a way that my family couldn’t (largely because I CHOSE to love this side.) While the classes I took were enriching and the college life exciting, what really made my college experience were the people that became my lifelong friends.
Then I graduated from college.
I moved an hour away, but assumed the F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode would continue. There would be drinks after work, and crashing at each others houses. There’d be parties and road trips - it’d be like college except with more alcohol and less homework.
However, there are no glossies for real life. No one gives you a brochure when you graduate from college, advertising all the wonderful experiences ahead of you. As a TV junkie, I expected to walk right into a F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode , but I hate to tell you - Hollywood lied.
Most nights I come home, make some kind of a mish-mash of dinner alone and watch TV before I go to bed. I’ll call my friends to try and make plans, but they always fall through. Someone had to work late, or needs the weekend to sleep. or it’s raining and the drive is just too far.
On a rare night I’ll have a 3-hour date with The Best - on the phone, eating our dinners 300 miles apart. The Best moved to Northern California at the end of summer, yet I feel like I’ve seen her more often than anyone who stayed down South.
We’ve talked a lot about the best friend problem - both of us displaced from the comfortable home of our college town. We’re grasping tightly to the best friends of our college years, repeating the mantra that we are friends for life. But how do those friendships continue when you’re 5 1/2 hours apart?
It’s time to start making new friends in my new post-college life. I’m lucky to have awesome co-workers that have frequented happy hour with me on more than one occasion. And I’ve joined in with them and their friends as well. But, being me, I’m shy and always worried that I’ll seem like the tag-along.
So what do you think?
What’s the best way to make new friends in a new town? Do F.R.I.E.N.D.S. episode friendships really exist? Is it silly to believe college-type friendships (and midnight coffee runs) can continue into adult life?
Friday, January 22, 2010
Oh Baby...
I feel like babies are all around me. Sister-in-Law has her little munchkin that is growing so much. Nephew is now 5 months but looks like he's 3 months since he was born 2 months premature. He's starting to get little fat rolls and a double chin. It's wonderful.
On that note, I was pursuing facebook, or picture stalking as those who are brave enough to admit it call it, where I discovered one of my first friends from junior high had twins recently. TWINS. I remember the beginning of our friendship, watching her branch off to find more friends since she was much cuter and less socially awkward than my group of friends (which was 2 of us mind you). I watched her remain so nice all through junior high and high school even with popularity and public school life. Now seeing pictures of her looking...well...like a mom with her 2 daughters is overwhelming.
Now that I'm married, the possibility of children is looming. It's a terrifying prospect. I do want kids. Several in fact. But I feel so conflicted about it. I have found myself worrying about what IF. What if I did get pregnant now? Obviously having no real steady income yet is a problem. As well as no property to call my own. But that's not what I think about it. When I think about it, I end up feeling...guilty.
Now, Twixter Two. Why would you feel guilty about having a kid? You're married. You're sprightly! It's the next step! What does it matter?
Well....I find the phrase "worst thing in the world that could happen to me right now" snakes through my head. I know that's extreme. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I think I would make a good Mom. And Husband would be an awesome Dad. It's just....I'M YOUNG!
I'm only 22. I don't want to have a kid yet. There's things I want to do. What if I want to move back to LA? If I want to be in the film industry or any industry that requires a lot of standing (which I want...forever) it's not too good to have kids. Not to sound dramatic, but having a kid ends one spouses everyday life. It changes everything. I'm not naive enough to think that life goes on the way it did before you have kids.
Now let me clarify. No one is making me bear children. I actually want to have kids early so that way they're out of the house. :) (spoken like a true Twixter at heart. Get the kids out so I can go on vacation!). The question is...when? UGH.
Twixter One is so much less dramatic than me right now. I need to have some more fun in life.
On that note, I was pursuing facebook, or picture stalking as those who are brave enough to admit it call it, where I discovered one of my first friends from junior high had twins recently. TWINS. I remember the beginning of our friendship, watching her branch off to find more friends since she was much cuter and less socially awkward than my group of friends (which was 2 of us mind you). I watched her remain so nice all through junior high and high school even with popularity and public school life. Now seeing pictures of her looking...well...like a mom with her 2 daughters is overwhelming.
Now that I'm married, the possibility of children is looming. It's a terrifying prospect. I do want kids. Several in fact. But I feel so conflicted about it. I have found myself worrying about what IF. What if I did get pregnant now? Obviously having no real steady income yet is a problem. As well as no property to call my own. But that's not what I think about it. When I think about it, I end up feeling...guilty.
Now, Twixter Two. Why would you feel guilty about having a kid? You're married. You're sprightly! It's the next step! What does it matter?
Well....I find the phrase "worst thing in the world that could happen to me right now" snakes through my head. I know that's extreme. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I think I would make a good Mom. And Husband would be an awesome Dad. It's just....I'M YOUNG!
I'm only 22. I don't want to have a kid yet. There's things I want to do. What if I want to move back to LA? If I want to be in the film industry or any industry that requires a lot of standing (which I want...forever) it's not too good to have kids. Not to sound dramatic, but having a kid ends one spouses everyday life. It changes everything. I'm not naive enough to think that life goes on the way it did before you have kids.
Now let me clarify. No one is making me bear children. I actually want to have kids early so that way they're out of the house. :) (spoken like a true Twixter at heart. Get the kids out so I can go on vacation!). The question is...when? UGH.
Twixter One is so much less dramatic than me right now. I need to have some more fun in life.
