Family Matters

I am the first child of four. Besides me there is my almost 20-year-old brother, my almost (ohdeargodohno) 16-year-old sister, and the baby of the bunch (at 6) living at home with my parents in Las Vegas.

Of those four, I am clearly the first to move away from home - but at the moment I am also the only one to be out of state as well. My brother was oh-so-lucky that the state university had a kick-ass program for his major and used his Nevada funded scholarship money with pride - and remained in town.

At the moment, that makes me the odd one of the bunch, living 4-hours away from my entire family. (and I mean ENTIRE as all my grandparents, aunts, and uncles live a driving distance away from each other in LV).

To some degree, I quite like it - it gave me the chance to be truly independent in a sink or swim kind of mentality. I get to keep my own schedule, and maintain my own apartment without the fear of an unexpected parental drop by.

But there are some weeks, like this week, where 4-hours might as well be 20.

My brother and sister and I haven’t always gotten along. We all went through that period as we made our way through Jr. High and High School where each of us thought the others were miserable human beings. But somehow over the last year things have changed.

Suddenly I’m getting phone calls from both The Golfer (brother) and The Teenager (sister) begging me “Sissy help me!” from across the state lines.

Sometimes it’s the “Mum is driving me nutts - and you’re the only one that understands!!!” call - to which I patiently listen and remember to later apologize to my mother for when I went through those years.

At other times it’s heartbreak, a desperate plea of “I think I’m going to lose them...” where my heart just breaks and all I want to do is hold them, however so awkwardly. (as both The Golfer and The Teenager tower over my 5’ 2“ frame.)

After so many years of screaming “I HATE YOU” at the top of my lungs to a slammed door, why now when I’m 300 miles away do I actually like my family?

There are some days I want nothing more than to grab coffee with The Golfer on a break between work, or take The Teenager out shopping. My Dad has promised me first ride on the lake tube this summer, and yet I don’t even know when that will be. And all of that’s not even touching on how often I desperately need a Mum date - just her and I and hours of conversation.

I think for me, this is the hardest strand of Twixterdom to break. I am ready to pay my own bills, to work a full time job, to clean my own apartment and manage my own schedule. But I was never the kid who wanted to pick up and move away from Mom & Dad, only to call on Christmas and birthdays. My family is THE most important thing in my life , and yet I have to watch them from afar as my job and life demand that I live in LA.

So what do you think? Does anyone have any advice on how to be a big sister from 300 miles away? Or should I just keep praying that the Maglev will one day become a reality?

Not Exactly My Kind of Holiday

Exactly 5 years ago today, I ended a 6 month boy fast my senior year of high school. I write that again for those who don’t know me. My senior year of high school, I went on a no boy/flirting fast for 6 months to learn exactly who I am. It was seriously one of the best times in my life. So every year since then, I’ve tried to make every St. Patrick’s Day special.

This year started with an emotional breakdown.

Now, I’m not one to be very emotional. Like I’ve said in earlier blogs, even typing this now, I’m mildly regretting writing it. But alas, I will persevere.

I woke up this morning and just felt overwhelmed. Like everything in the entire world I was worried about was on the forefront of my mind. Then I got a text message from my favorite teacher of time (who happens to be my academic advisor, the officiant at my wedding, and stand-in grandpa since mine passed away). All he said was that he missed me and wished I could be TA-ing his class this year.

I just started bawling. I seriously couldn’t stop. I couldn’t get ready for work; nothing could make me feel better. I feel so bad for Husband. There was nothing he could do but just lay with me.

All my thoughts just kept spiraling. What if I don’t want to move to Florida? What if I want to move back to California? When am I going to finish school? What if I don’t get hired at Disney? What if this apartment doesn’t help make me happier in this stupid city? Can I really make it 5 more months here before I go nuts?

I’m apologizing now. I hate writing blogs like this. I always feel so “whoa-is-me! I-have-a-full-time-job-a-place-to-live-and-an-amazing-family but wah wah wah”.

But this is my blog entry. So whatevs.

I ended up being 3 hours late to work. Not a normal occurrence for me as I am a very on time person.

So even now at work, I feel on edge. Like someone is going to say something to me and I’m just going to start crying. There are very few things I hate more than crying in public. One would be wetting my pants. That’s seriously how much I hate crying in front of people.

So now I’m avoiding everyone like the plague and just counting down the hours until 2:30 when I can escape to the safety and solitude of my car.

Hopefully I can make it 2 more hours.

Not exactly the type of memory I like to have for St. Patrick’s Day. But I guess they can’t always be fun.

The Need to Move

[Editors Note: This blog was written and slated to run today, long before Twixter Two made her exciting announcement below. Slightly ironic, don’t you think?]

6-months ago, all my blog posts were raving about my new apartment that was prepped and ready for me to move into. I was so excited.

Now that we’re six months in to a year-long lease, the excitement has worn off. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fabulous apartment. We got a stellar deal (paying nearly $800 less than our neighbors in fact) but I’m beginning to realize it’s a stellar deal on an apartment that may be too much for me to handle. This apartment would have been MY DREAM when I was in college – as a two story town house each person has their own little hole to curl up into when they need to study, with the downstairs completely open for hanging out and partying. But I’ve soon come to realize that my post college life doesn’t entail as many midnight marathons of Bones as college did. Furthermore, my roommate is rarely ever home – leaving a huge kitchen, dining room and living room downstairs open as I wander from room to room wondering why its so quiet. Even when she is there, she’s usually holed up in her own room making barely any noise. (Unless of course it’s 4 am and she bursts into my room to tell me about the earthquake that just happened - the earthquake that consequently didn’t wake me up. *yawn*)

So I made the mistake of surfing through Craigslist postings, only to find apartment after apartment that I’m falling in love with – for almost $200 cheaper a month than what I’m paying now. It’s unhealthy for me to continue to look when I’m so far off from my lease ending, but I can’t help it. I want a new place, new roommate, new outlook – already.

I’m used to college living. The longest I’ve ever stayed in one place was 9-months, and most of the time roommates lasted a maximum of 4-months before we annoyed the heck out of each other and someone moved out. It’s normal for the itch to start hitting me now, at the 6-month mark it was already time to buddy up for next years roommate assignments.

But why am I looking if I’m not necessarily “unhappy?” The only real fault to my apartment is the fact that I’m 6-months older and decades wiser and know that I could seriously cut my costs and find something much more manageable. Otherwise my apartment is cute, it’s clean and comfy, and my roommate pays her rent each month. Of course, I’d love to find a roommate whose schedule lines up more with mine (I’m dying for need of some serious college style Gilmore Girls marathons stat) and I’m realizing the value and savings of living in a tight but comfy place.

When I first started this blog, I prided myself on shaking at least one tenet of Twixerdom and settling into my own apartment, lease and all - and had plans to stay.

Hmm, well - Okay, maybe I’m not so rid of the Twixter after all

A Place To Call My Own

Life changing event!

Well my Twixter friends, Husband and I are so so close to getting OUR
first apartment!!!

You have no idea how exciting it will be for us to have an apartment.
It's just a cute 1 bedroom near where Husband graduated from high
school. And the other huge bonus, is we're subleasing for exactly the
amount of time until we wanted to move to Florida.

And on top of that, it's only $550 a month. (Sorry Twixter One. I
know that's hurtful).

Husband and I have been living with Sister-In-Law for several months
now. We've been staying in the spare bedroom with a futon on the
floor. Not exactly ideal, but it's free and we're poor. So when we
started looking for apartments in our budget range, they were pretty
much all in not the greatest places in the Las Vegas Valley. But it
was a sacrifice we were willing to make.

But then, out of the glorious Craig's List, we found a subleased
apartment for the same price as the ghetto for a really nice
neighborhood. It's so close to my work and a lot closer to any
friends we have in town.

I feel like an adult. This apartment will be the first place that
Husband and I have that's ours. We lived in a rental room at our
university and then when we studied abroad, we lived with rented
furniture and rented dishes. It wasn't OURS. Now this place will
have all our furniture and Giles as well! (After we pay the
exorbitant $500 pet deposit).

As much as I don't want to grow up, I can't wait to have a place to
call my own. Even if it's just for 5 months.

So now all we're waiting for is the weird guy we're subleasing from to
pay the apartment what he owes and fill out some paperwork, and then
it's ours! We move in April 1st.

This is going to be the longest 2.5 weeks of my life.

Giles the Pee-Meister

So fun fact of the day: Giles is on a peeing spree.

Giles is my cat. Let me tell you about him. Prior to getting
married, I lived for a couple of months with my besties crashing on
their bedroom floor to save money. During that time, while moving my
stuff from the dorms into the garage, I heard a small meow. A kitten
meow. So I searched around. The detached garage faces a cinder block
wall with dumpsters against it. When the dumpsters get moved, they
slam into the brick wall and make holes.

So we found Giles hidden in a hole in the cinder block wall. Meowing
his little head off for someone to help him. Mind you, this all
happened around 11 pm. So after calling in the boys to help get him
out, we ended up spending 2 1/2 hours making the fist size hole an
arm's length hole with a hammer. After that battle, we got him out.
And he was the cutest cat I've ever seen.

Look at that face....

Mind you I just remembered now that he peed on my lap on the car ride
over to walmart to get him a litter box and food. It was a sign....

So we hid Giles in Husband's dorm room for a few months, hid him in
our college apartment, got caught. Then had a lovely lady we found on
Craig's list watch him while we studied abroad. She even got his
shots and neutering free. She was seriously a miracle. After we
moved to Vegas, we had to give him to someone else to watch until
Nephew was healthy enough to have a cat around. All of that time
totaling about 5 months without him. We have been fighting to keep
him from the get go.

Now don't get me wrong, Giles is a love. He will snuggle likie it's
no one's business and even sit on the book you're reading if he wants
some love. But then 10 mins later he will be running in circles
around the room, getting scared by his own tail. He has more
personality than even some people I know. He's such a character.

Well, I almost murdered him last night.

He started to pee on the blanket i was laying under. Literally at my
feet he tried to pee. (Granted his litter box was a little dirty. I
rectified that immediately).

And the jeans I wanted to wear this morning? Peed on. On top of my
leather Rainbow brand flip flop. I didn't have time to clean the this
morning as I was running late, but if that flip flop forever smells
like cat piss....

So now we don't know what to do. Do we keep this cat that obviously
needs some more attention and just get him anohter cat to keep him
company? What if the other cat learns the same bad habits and they
both pee around the apartment? I don't want to loose my $300 pet
deposit because my cat won't use his litter box.

Or do we find him a home? I mean, Giles is a shit, but I love him so
much. He sleeps next to me every night and makes me so happy whenever
I see him. He's our baby.

Except when he pisses on my stuff.

ALAS, what do I do?

Memories

The other day I stopped by CVS to pick up a couple of photos from one-hour photo. My photo printer stopped working about 4-months ago, and now simply exists as an at-home flight check-in kiosk. and then only when it likes me.

However, I was struck with a very old memory. I remember the days when as a kid, I would go with Mum to Costco. The first thing to the right of the massive garage doors was the photo center. We would rush to the photo stacks and eagerly wait for Mum to turn the gigantic cart down an empty isle and rip open the packaging.

We’d stand on our tip toes as we waited to see which pictures were there. Half of the pictures were blurry, and occasionally Mum would lecture me on why I thought taking a picture of a brick was a good idea. (What can I say, I had a weird photographic eye even at that age.) But we’d ooh and aah over the photos of us as a family, right there in the isle of Costco.

Fast Forward 15-odd years to today. Where my baby sister doesn’t even pause after the shutter goes off, immediately begging “let me see! let me see!” (by the way, The Baby just turned 6!!! Happy Birthday munchkins!) Bad pictures are instantaneously deleted, and there’s plenty of room for pictures of bricks and leaves and my baby sisters dolls.

But the other day at CVS I tossed my photo order into the cart, and walked out of the store without even glancing at them until they went in the mail to my grandmother. She’s 103 and doesn’t own a computer, so we still hand write letters and mail her pictures. (Although, I’m sure if we gave her a chance she’d master the computer and be on facebook in no time. She is super woman after all.)

I’m all about the technological advances we’ve had and love the fact that as I’ve travelled the world my family can travel with me via the world wide web. But there are moments when I miss those days, crowded around a shopping cart - waiting as a family to see what memories were made and captured forever on one incredibly special photograph.

The Coveted Eclipse Trailer

Now, as aforementioned, I'm a fan girl. I love the Twilight Saga. Thusly, I have been (im)patiently awaiting any sort of footage from the newest film in the series, Eclipse.

It arrived yesterday at 6 am. I tried, like a good employee, to watch it on my phone so I wouldn't get in trouble. I tried 3 times. Thank you MyTouch for claiming the video "could not be played". Bullshivic!

Now, as youtube.com is blocked at my work, I studiously opened hulu.com, which is not blocked and prayed it would be there. Obviously it was. And I watched.

My initial thought was.... "That's it?"

Eclipse is my favorite book in the series. I have very high expectations for this film, especially with David Slade manning the director wheel and the high standards set by New Moon. While I didn't see 30 Days of Night, I trust his vision for horror, fighting, and drama due to his previous experience.

But the trailer was angsty flashes of each character looking tormented. Seriously. Watch it again and you'll see. It jumps from Edward telling Bella about the consequences of her choices, Jacob (who has the best line EVER by the way) of saying he'll fight for Bella until her heart stops beating, the Volturi looking mean, to Bella saying she's found us.....

Angsty.....

Now don't get me wrong. It looks beautiful. From the flashes of the meadow to the emotions on their faces, it's stunning. But this trailer was for the fangirls. It was the love triangle trailer.

Where was the fighting? Where's the fear? I just didn't feel it yet. Or see it for that matter.

I'll wait though. I know the next trailer will be more fleshed out. Some of the fight scenes are probably still being worked on digitally anyway. Notice how little CG was in the trailer. Yup. They're waiting.

Which is fine. I guess...

Sigh.