Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Happy New Year, 18 days Late....

Well, even with the guilty hints from Twixter One, it has taken me a total of 18 days to update this brand new year, on top of the almost 6 months it has been since I've even updated at all.

Wow. That was an embarrassing revelation.

I had such high hopes of blogging all last year. It was supposed to be awesome! Twixter One and I had been working on getting our blog out there for the world to see then we just....stopped. Well, I stopped. Twixter One at least attempted, kind of. :)

Now is a new year, a time for new starts. I decided not to have any New Years Resolutions. I find I either never remember them or just feel guilty at the end of the year for not accomplishing them. The not accomplishing is usually followed by excuses to why it was an unrealistic goal in the first place. Excuse-Excuse-Whine-Whine-Whine.

Well I'm tired of whining. And I'm tired of my own excuses. So this year is a year about doing. Not goal setting and listing, it's a year of making it happen. Figuring out what the hell I actually LOVE in my life. Because I still don't truly know. I still feel like that floundering high school girl who can't decide what to major in because that determines what she'll be doing for the next 30 years of her life. How wrong was I? (Incredibly wrong, actually.)

So the real reason behind all this "doing" not pretending is my big news of 2011. I found out just before Christmas that Husband and I are expecting a little Twixter of our own. You read correctly. I'm preggo.

I do have to say how excited I am. This was not planned per say, but Husband and I were planning on kids within the next year or so anyhow. It was just a tidbit earlier than we had hoped. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone keeps telling me you are never truly ready to have kids. You just have to make it happen.

So yes, I do feel a sort of time crunch. Every time I get sick (which for me is night sickness, not morning sickness) I'm reminded of how much my body and life are going to be changing. Will forever be changed after this baby is born.

A little bit of honesty: When Husband and I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out. And not in a good way. All I saw was myself raising kids and doing nothing for the rest of my life. I mean, I have 6 college classes left to a degree. When am I going to take them? When are we going to want to set aside extra money for a crazy irresponsible projects (like moving across the country to start a production company) after we have kids? We actually have to be adults now.

Needless to say, I calmed down. A LOT. After the initial shock faded, I got excited. Who says my life has to end? It's a baby, not an anchor. My journey on this ocean of life doesn't need to marooned forever. I just picked up some extra crew.

My parents worked really hard to keep doing what they wanted to do with their lives, even after I was born. They started several business, and just kept living. I want that. I want to keep living. I'm still only 23 years old. (Oh yeah, my birthday was in November).

So there's that. Man, I forgot how awesome it feels to blog.

Hm. Maybe I can actually keep DOING it. What do you think Twixter One?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! And ... OOPS! Looks like Twixter Two and I have managed to let our little blog slip for quite some time now. But I promise you, there is good reason behind it. The last six-months have been a roller coaster, to say the least, with plenty of changes to talk about. I’ll let Twixter Two catch you up on her stories (hint-hint, clue-clue, guilt-guilt) but as for me I feel like so much has changed, to the point it seems like nothing has changed! But nonetheless - here are the highlights:

CH-CH- CH- CHANGES!
The biggest change in the past 6-months actually happened just a couple days ago. After over a year-and-a-half of living an hour (or two) away from each other, The Boyfriend has finally moved up North! Now, he’s just a 10-minute drive away, and I’m LOVING IT! After months of fighting graduation and unemployment, he finally landed a gig at one of the studios in town. It only took a couple weeks of that torturous 2-hour drive to convince him it was time to get a place up North.

I’m SO flippin’ excited to have him near me, although I have to admit, it’s going to take an adjustment. We have been in “relationship survival mode” for so long - planning out our dates weeks in advance, going days upon days without seeing each other - than now I’m not sure how to handle having a “full-time” boyfriend! Of course - it’s a great problem to have, and a great way to start 2011!

CH-CH-CH-CHANGING!
Speaking of moving: After over a year and a half at my current place, I’m pulling out the moving boxes once again. (or maybe just stealing what’s left of The Boyfriends). Over the last month its become very clear that it was time for The Actress and I to go our separate ways. (A story for another time, when distance allows me to laugh about it rather than scream.) Half of me is itching and excited to find a new place, but the other half is dreading the pack up and move dance. I can’t wait for the day when home is permanently home!

So, now it’s time for the roommate hunt, which is always frustrating, weird, and awkward. I find it funny that when dating someone you take months, even years, to decide that they are worthy enough to share your home with. But when hunting for a roommate you have a week - sometimes only days - to decide that they’re good enough to move in with - even if it’s just for a year or two. Needless to say, my roommate hunt so far has brought out it’s share of kooks, but there’s a few bright spots on the horizon that I hope will be a perfect fit.

CH-CH-CH-NOPE.
Strangely enough, the one thing that I THOUGHT would change over these past 6-months is still the same. I’d been on the job hunt over the summer months, when a “new” opportunity fell into my lap. After a good friend left our small company, her position was served to me on a sparkling silver platter. Goodbye Assistant-hood, hello - well, another job. I’d love to say that Production Coordinator was my dream job, but it brought with it quite a few obstacles to jump over (or run over) along the way. There are days that I absolutely love my job, and others that make me want to run crying back to Vegas. But, as my family continues to remind me, that’s business, so I’m sticking it out for at least a couple more months.

Of course, this all could change come February, when I’m expecting/ hoping/ praying for an acceptance letter to a industry program I applied for last November. This will be my 2nd year applying, and while I know not to get my hopes up (I have a 15/2000 chance of landing it) I can’t help but hope that this will be my year.

As I look back over 2010, I realize that it was a year of rest for me. 2010 taught me how to be satisfied with my life - to enjoy my job, my friends, and my city. However, sometimes I wonder if it crossed the line and not only taught me to be satisfied, but also to be comfortable living the same-old, same-old day after day. As I face a 2011 that I hope will be filled with changes, the comfortable part of Twixter One starts to get more and more anxious about what is to come. While I know that change is good, I have to remind me that in order to change, I have to lose control of that aspect of my life - something that I DEFINITELY don’t like to do. I’m smart enough to know that one day I’ll look back at this part of my life, and everything will once again make sense. Of course, I wouldn’t mind a little common sense here and now too.

Happy New Year All!