Wow. That was an embarrassing revelation.
I had such high hopes of blogging all last year. It was supposed to be awesome! Twixter One and I had been working on getting our blog out there for the world to see then we just....stopped. Well, I stopped. Twixter One at least attempted, kind of. :)
Now is a new year, a time for new starts. I decided not to have any New Years Resolutions. I find I either never remember them or just feel guilty at the end of the year for not accomplishing them. The not accomplishing is usually followed by excuses to why it was an unrealistic goal in the first place. Excuse-Excuse-Whine-Whine-Whine.
Well I'm tired of whining. And I'm tired of my own excuses. So this year is a year about doing. Not goal setting and listing, it's a year of making it happen. Figuring out what the hell I actually LOVE in my life. Because I still don't truly know. I still feel like that floundering high school girl who can't decide what to major in because that determines what she'll be doing for the next 30 years of her life. How wrong was I? (Incredibly wrong, actually.)
So the real reason behind all this "doing" not pretending is my big news of 2011. I found out just before Christmas that Husband and I are expecting a little Twixter of our own. You read correctly. I'm preggo.
I do have to say how excited I am. This was not planned per say, but Husband and I were planning on kids within the next year or so anyhow. It was just a tidbit earlier than we had hoped. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone keeps telling me you are never truly ready to have kids. You just have to make it happen.
So yes, I do feel a sort of time crunch. Every time I get sick (which for me is night sickness, not morning sickness) I'm reminded of how much my body and life are going to be changing. Will forever be changed after this baby is born.
A little bit of honesty: When Husband and I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out. And not in a good way. All I saw was myself raising kids and doing nothing for the rest of my life. I mean, I have 6 college classes left to a degree. When am I going to take them? When are we going to want to set aside extra money for a crazy irresponsible projects (like moving across the country to start a production company) after we have kids? We actually have to be adults now.
Needless to say, I calmed down. A LOT. After the initial shock faded, I got excited. Who says my life has to end? It's a baby, not an anchor. My journey on this ocean of life doesn't need to marooned forever. I just picked up some extra crew.
My parents worked really hard to keep doing what they wanted to do with their lives, even after I was born. They started several business, and just kept living. I want that. I want to keep living. I'm still only 23 years old. (Oh yeah, my birthday was in November).
So there's that. Man, I forgot how awesome it feels to blog.
Hm. Maybe I can actually keep DOING it. What do you think Twixter One?
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