Independence

This year I have reached a HUGE milestone in my life:

I am independent.

or at least according to the federal government I am. That’s right, it’s tax time. When it came time to settle in and finally figure out my taxes, I reached a HUGE question, right on page one:

“Can someone else claim you as a dependent?”

For the first 21 years of my life, this question was a given. But suddenly I’m staring at my taxes faced with the defining question of my twenties:

“Am I REALLY independent?”

In an irony of sorts I picked up the phone and proceeded to have an hour-long conversation with my Dad to try to navigate my way between dependence and independence. (at least according to the US government)

About halfway through, we decided that yes, for one more year, I was a dependent. I calculated my W-2’s and typed them neatly into Turbo Tax, only to be met with a very nasty red number. My thought?

Hey Dad – if I’m a dependent, I’m depending on you to help me pay this bill. Yikes!

And that’s when Dad and I started to play the tax game. Uncheck a box here, calculate the distance moved here, and suddenly my number went up and up and up until WOW! I got the biggest tax refund I have ever seen. (Thinking back to the days when I was SUPER PSYCHED to get my $90 refund. WooHoo!)

At the end of the hour I had a very nice little green number at the top of my screen, and I told my Dad goodbye.

Thanks for the great life Dad, but I think I’ll take it from here. ;)

Of course, there is the downside to being independent. And well, it’s that I’m dependent. No longer to my parents, but to my credit card. It steals my independence, literally down to my very last cent.

So, my hefty check from the US government didn’t stay in my account more than a couple of hours before the entire amount (plus a little extra) was immediately transferred on to my credit card bill. As my credit card balance dropped, so did my excitement as I remembered the days where tax refunds meant a full-fledged girl’s day – complete with shopping trip.

But today, I woke up to another direct deposit into my account – this time from the State of California. I had completely forgotten! I spent all of my “dependent” life as a Nevada resident, basking in the glory that is no state income tax. But California is in debt, and we don’t have that luxury. I cringe every two weeks as I see the extra little line on my paycheck as my precious dollars are taken away by the state.

Except for the fact that now, I got a few of them back.

Of course on the flip side, now I’m also VERY tempted.

Over the last couple of months I’ve been VERY dedicated to sticking to a budget. I’ve bought no extras, no splurges, just strictly what I need and nothing else. It’s been very exhausting. So part of me wants to take my state tax refund as just a little reward to myself. That is, until the responsible side kicks in.

As always, I’m torn between the responsible thing to do, and the thing that will make me feel just a little bit happier. It’s time to make a responsible adult choice.

So what did you do with your tax refund? Did it all go towards paying off debt? Or do you get to have a little fun?