Family Matters

I am the first child of four. Besides me there is my almost 20-year-old brother, my almost (ohdeargodohno) 16-year-old sister, and the baby of the bunch (at 6) living at home with my parents in Las Vegas.

Of those four, I am clearly the first to move away from home - but at the moment I am also the only one to be out of state as well. My brother was oh-so-lucky that the state university had a kick-ass program for his major and used his Nevada funded scholarship money with pride - and remained in town.

At the moment, that makes me the odd one of the bunch, living 4-hours away from my entire family. (and I mean ENTIRE as all my grandparents, aunts, and uncles live a driving distance away from each other in LV).

To some degree, I quite like it - it gave me the chance to be truly independent in a sink or swim kind of mentality. I get to keep my own schedule, and maintain my own apartment without the fear of an unexpected parental drop by.

But there are some weeks, like this week, where 4-hours might as well be 20.

My brother and sister and I haven’t always gotten along. We all went through that period as we made our way through Jr. High and High School where each of us thought the others were miserable human beings. But somehow over the last year things have changed.

Suddenly I’m getting phone calls from both The Golfer (brother) and The Teenager (sister) begging me “Sissy help me!” from across the state lines.

Sometimes it’s the “Mum is driving me nutts - and you’re the only one that understands!!!” call - to which I patiently listen and remember to later apologize to my mother for when I went through those years.

At other times it’s heartbreak, a desperate plea of “I think I’m going to lose them...” where my heart just breaks and all I want to do is hold them, however so awkwardly. (as both The Golfer and The Teenager tower over my 5’ 2“ frame.)

After so many years of screaming “I HATE YOU” at the top of my lungs to a slammed door, why now when I’m 300 miles away do I actually like my family?

There are some days I want nothing more than to grab coffee with The Golfer on a break between work, or take The Teenager out shopping. My Dad has promised me first ride on the lake tube this summer, and yet I don’t even know when that will be. And all of that’s not even touching on how often I desperately need a Mum date - just her and I and hours of conversation.

I think for me, this is the hardest strand of Twixterdom to break. I am ready to pay my own bills, to work a full time job, to clean my own apartment and manage my own schedule. But I was never the kid who wanted to pick up and move away from Mom & Dad, only to call on Christmas and birthdays. My family is THE most important thing in my life , and yet I have to watch them from afar as my job and life demand that I live in LA.

So what do you think? Does anyone have any advice on how to be a big sister from 300 miles away? Or should I just keep praying that the Maglev will one day become a reality?