Thanks, But No Thanks.

So, I had an interesting week at my job here at the call center.

First, I was offered to produce (with zero budget mind you) a training video encompassing all the different departments of the company. It’s going to be cheesy, very corporate and I’m in love with the project. There’s a new kid in the training class (who is a d-bag who thinks he's God's gift to broadcasting,but working in a call center) who has all the equipment I’d need. He’s a broadcast major who’s very excited to help/take over the entire project. Ehem.

THEN after that, my trainer, whom we shall call Trainer (I’m creative, I know), approached me and asked me if I was good at Excel. Let me give a little back story on young Twixter Two. I was the child, where at age 9, created an Excel document of my Christmas wish list. I included graphs breaking up my gifts by cost brackets, what stores they were from and level of desire.

I’m completely serious.

But after that, all I’ve know is above the average person about excel. I can fix basic problems and create general formulas.

So I told Trainer that I was good at Excel. I am, above the average Joe. So I had a meeting with the big boss on campus, whom we shall call Bundles. Well, Bundles offered me Friday, “a loan”. What this loan means is while my pay and title remain the same, I am on loan to Bundles to help with the corporate Excel documents. Highly classified information about the company, including performance reports, etc. Well, Bundles wanted me to repackage the information into different graphs and formulas. And learn a technique called VLOOKUP.

Now I accepted the position. I was dazzled. I’m brand new to this company, only starting out on February 1st. To be offered something like this is unreal. It was implied that if I stayed and showed the stuff I was doing had some value, it would become an actual management position.

Then I went home. Husband helped un-dazzle me of the excitement of getting offer a kind-of-promotion. And I spent 2 hours trying to learn VLOOKUP. I had no idea what it was talking about. I’m a fast learner, but I researched VLOOKUP on 5 different Excel sites and still could not figure it out. This was a problem, since that was going to be my main formula. Then I had some questions. I’m not getting a raise, but I have more responsibility: would my title change? What can I write down on my résumé? If I change my hours, will that affect this?

After all the questions rolled around in my head, and the lack of Excel knowledge, on top of the fact that Husband and I are moving in less than 6 months, why would I take this position? For 1, it’s way over my head. For 2, it’s not very beneficial to a company to train someone for a promotional job when they’re going to be leaving. For 3, I was scared out of my mind I would suck completely at it.

So I talked to Bundles this morning and was very honest. It had nothing to do with her, just the fact that if it were my company, I wouldn’t want me to take the position. Bundles was very surprised by my honesty. Not many people would sacrifice getting off the phones in a call center life.

Little does she know I just didn’t want to give up my bonuses. (Bwahahahaha).